Heh... yeah, it'd be funny to meet. Very different people, Ragnar and me, but I think we're both decent folks once you get past the bullshit.

But then, we've thrown barbs and compliments at each other for over a decade.
We've seen pictures of each other, and kind of glimpsed each other's pain over the years.

Social outcast? Me? I dunno... maybe by choice in some ways. I can't handle the overhead of large groups, and I don't get out a lot. I have a small concern that I'll eventually withdraw completely and nobody will know I exist (which only becomes a concern in old age when you think your body might stain the floor).

But I've always been comfortable communicating with disembodied souls. It might come from having read a lot of books when I was young, as you get a feel for an author's personality from their turns of phrase, and as you improve your own writing to express who you are as accurately as possible with the words available to you, in all their subtlties.

Oh, heh... I met Melvin online, now that I think of it. I read his personals advert, and figured I needed to write something that would separate me from what I assumed he was receiving from others. Apparently, I accomplished that handily, as I think he still has that e-mail somewhere.

But it's still nice to meet in person, to see the eyebrowse, and the hear the tenor of the voice.

As for juggling, I haven't done that in too long. But I had a chance to do that 'steal the balls' trick with a juggler at that event I attended in San Diego. I should get some decent juggling balls and get back in practice again, as it's a fun way to pass the time, and I used to be just a tad above average at it.

Is it perception or reality?

(Asked by the very same person who is very fond of saying "Perception *is* reality.")

"Some of the existing literature on social media suggests there's an

enormous amount of social comparison that happens. When you look at
other people's lives, particularly on Instagram, it's easy to conclude

that everyone else's life is cooler or better than yours."

I went into a major depressive episode shortly after joining F*c*book. One of my friends suggested that the two were connected. Who knows ... he may have been right. I eventually closed my account because everyone over there is a spoiled whiny teenage drama queen ... exactly the type I don't want to keep company with.

I want to keep company with the kind of people who would spot the grammatical error in the previous paragraph.

How many of us right here, many of whom were social outcasts, found
friendship at the other end of a BBS? And those posted thoughts and
comments led to real life relationships?

That was easier when the majority of the people you met on a message board were likely to be within driving distance. Those are the relationships most of us are still looking for. The ones where people have things in common but are still nearby enough to reach. The ones where you can say "meet me at the river bank this afternoon and we'll spend the afternoon tossing pellets of sodium into the water" and they'll be there.

I think most of my online meetings with real world people met on a BBS had to do with "Bring over all your warez and a box of blank floppies."

Eh, I'm still on FB.

But I have to be selective. Some of it is toxic, to be sure, but sometimes you find a gem.

Mostly, though, it is the only way I can remain in any semblance of contact with the several disparate people I've met in my life.

Since high school, I joined the military, then went to college, then moved to Maryland where I've had three jobs working for radically different products (and rather different sets of people). I liked many of the people I've met, and still like them today. So it's nice to see how things are going with them over the years.

Although, at this age, I'm starting to see the deaths, which kind of adds a different sort of weird to it all. I think there's always that group of people who die in their 50s/60s or so that you knew in high school or whatever... those are the ones who are dropping off at the moment. A bit dark, I realize, but I guess that's part of the overall experience of knowing enough folks.

I have a friend who owns a fairly successful business and has the toys to show for it. Sports cars, cool watches, etc.

He recently shut down his Instagram account, because he felt that other people are living better lives than he is, and he's tired of seeing it.

I'm not one to suffer from depression over other peoples lives. Then again, I'm not one to generally suffer from depression.

Not giving a shit helps.

I like to see folks doing well, actually. I've never cared what others thought of me. I live under my own terms.

I like seeing other folks doing well, as when I say I like you, I mean it.
And I like to see my friends do well for themselves.

Eh, I'm still on FB.

Yeah, and your sister immediately stopped visiting us here as soon as she could reach you there.

Thanks a lot. :P

And I like to see my friends do well for themselves.

The way I see it is, anything worth enjoying, is worth sharing the joy. That makes it a million times better. But that may just be me; I'm quite the codependent.

Heh... truth be told, she could just as easily reach me in any of a variety of other ways.

I don't really know why she doesn't hang out here anymore. I know she gets on FB to post lots of silliness with her friends who probably don't quite get the whole BBS thing.

Sharing the joy is pretty nice. There's fun to be had there.

Shared Pain is lessened. Shared Joy is magnified.

2019-05-24 13:01 from wizard of aahz
Shared Pain is lessened. Shared Joy is magnified.

OK Callahan.

<GRIN> Well yes.. Where else would that come from?

Shared Pain is lessened. Shared Joy is magnified.

A problem shared is a problem multiplied 15 million times.

Share and enjoy.
________________
Go stick your head in a pig.

Gah. pandora was wrong, but prescient.

Back in secondary-relationship hell.

I don't want to go into details, but I'm being made to feel like I just can't do anything right for this person...

Is almost like gaslighting. Almost.

Correct.

She's lucky she didn't know me in high school. I would have been argumentative AF, and dealing with all of this in a very emotionally immature way which could even have been said to be dangerous.

Now I'm just waiting and giving the space needed for it all to seem less dire. But in the interim, I'm bloody miserable and feeling inadequate to the task ahead.

At least my primary relationship is stable enough, albeit boring and lackluster at the moment.