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[#] Mon Mar 25 2019 17:53:07 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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2019-03-19 11:58 from pandora @uncnsrd in Relationships and Sex>
I'm eating, sleeping, going to work, do some chores about the
apartment, going to therapy.


(That's the only bit for here ... the remainder turned into a discussion about the well-being of our children and has been moved to the Raising Kids room)

[#] Mon Apr 01 2019 13:17:41 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Sex and children do kinda go together, as one leads to the other.

But it's kinda funny how they don't mix.

[#] Mon Apr 01 2019 16:54:22 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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I want grandchildren (eventually) so I'm ok with my kids being sexually active (eventually).

[#] Wed Apr 03 2019 07:30:56 EDT from pandora @ Uncensored

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eventually. Yesterday Marilyn approached me about something I didn't need to know, but I'm glad she felt she could ask me. So, they put her on Zoloft and she's having issues in the bedroom, so she wanted to know what's worked for me and not worked for me in the past re: antidepressants and libido. I managed to actually answer her, very proud of myself.

[#] Thu Apr 04 2019 16:08:03 EDT from arabella @ Uncensored

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Until recently my lack of friends has been a non-issue.

The total number of friends I have is 0. (This number does not include my partner.)

Recently tho' I have considered that it might be nice to have one. Although I do worry that my independence would be compromised.

Also, I realised I don't actually know how to start a friendship.



[#] Fri Apr 05 2019 09:44:36 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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arabella, if there's an activity you enjoy, you may be able to find others who like that kind of activity, and are looking to group up to do such things, which can lead to friendships.

An example... if you enjoy playing volleyball, you can find others around your own age who play volleyball and join up. Often, such places welcome newcomers.

Although, if you like singing non-sacred music from 1640 AD underwater while building ice sculptures, you might have a challenging time meeting up with others for that activity.

[#] Sat Apr 06 2019 06:59:00 EDT from arabella @ Uncensored

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Looks like too much hard work

I'll just have to do my aquatic singing alone.

 



[#] Mon Apr 08 2019 11:42:49 EDT from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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I second Fleeb's thoughts.

[#] Tue Apr 09 2019 11:41:24 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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I would *love* to get together with people and sing non-sacred music from 1640 AD underwater while building ice sculptures. The problem is finding people local enough to get together and do it.

I get the idea though. I'd like to have more of the kind of friends that live nearby and can get together and do stuff all the time.

[#] Tue Apr 09 2019 12:22:43 EDT from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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IG - It's a two way street. You do the first half of having people over and they do come over. And a bunch of your friends do the second half too. Of having you come over (along with others). And it grows over time usually.

[#] Tue Apr 09 2019 14:04:44 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

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I get the idea though. I'd like to have more of the kind of friends

that live nearby and can get together and do stuff all the time.



People are overrated.

[#] Tue Apr 09 2019 16:30:02 EDT from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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So it breathing.

[#] Wed Apr 10 2019 11:23:29 EDT from Freakdog @ Uncensored

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I'm a proponent of Meetup (meetup.com)...you'd be amazed at the various meetups/get togethers for almost every sort of interest.



[#] Thu Apr 11 2019 05:41:21 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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It's kind of ironic that we have all this amazing technology designed to help us communicate thoughts and ideas better, yet we've never been more lonely.

[#] Thu Apr 11 2019 09:02:31 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

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2019-04-11 05:41 from fleeb

It's kind of ironic that we have all this amazing technology designed

to help us communicate thoughts and ideas better, yet we've never been

more lonely.



I wonder why we say things like this?


Is it perception or reality?

[#] Thu Apr 11 2019 10:01:23 EDT from zooer @ Uncensored

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I think it is a valid statement.  The technology separates us.

phones:  You don't have to visit another person you can call.

texting: You don't need lengthy call just text.

social media:  You don't need to communicate just read a facebook post. 

 

We are alone, we no longer need to be standing next to another human to communicate. 

 



[#] Thu Apr 11 2019 14:14:02 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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It's a legitimate question, actually.

And, interestingly, posed by a lot of folks, as to whether or not this association bears any merit.

For me, I may be responding to the fact that in some ways I feel I spend less time around people than I did in my college years, before some of the technologies we have today that make communication so much easier. But to what degree is that the fault of technology, vs. me just kind of withdrawing as a consequence of aging or something.


And if it's just aging, to what degree do I find myself blaming technology because it's shifting and changing as I'm aging, so it makes a good target to avoid the real problem?

But then... what if technology really is at fault for at least some component of it?

*tappity tip tap*

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/11/181108164316.htm

"Some of the existing literature on social media suggests there's an enormous amount of social comparison that happens. When you look at other people's lives, particularly on Instagram, it's easy to conclude that everyone else's life is cooler or better than yours."

Well, that's interesting, if only an opinion. The study did find that people felt less lonely when they reduced their use of social media. So there's that.

I don't really use a lot of social media, so I'm probably not as subject to this effect. And I tend to use social media to share humor or ideas with others rather than gossip, which would make me less likely to compare myself to others that way.

But that's just social media. There's still e-mail, teleconferencing, and other technologies that, combined, have some kind of impact on our feeling of isolation, I should think. But I don't know if anyone has performed any rigorous studies on this... or even how.

[#] Thu Apr 11 2019 16:29:44 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

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fleeb and I never met. But I feel like I know him.

I have a friend from grade school I reconnected with due to social media.
We now text with one another 3 or 4 times a week.

Today I learned a former colleauge went to work somewhere else (a business partner of mine). We haven't worked together in 7 years. But I learned instantly, reached out and said congratulations.

How many of us right here, many of whom were social outcasts, found friendship at the other end of a BBS? And those posted thoughts and comments led to real life relationships?


[#] Thu Apr 11 2019 16:32:10 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

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2019-04-11 16:29 from Ragnar Danneskjold
fleeb and I never met. But I feel like I know him.


I'm actually so sure of that, I feel like if we met in person and he said "Fascist" and I responded "Fag" we'd just giggle and give each other a hug.

[#] Sun Apr 14 2019 14:46:40 EDT from triLcat @ Uncensored

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I keep telling people to learn to juggle and go to juggling meet-ups. 
Juggling is very physically interactive, but doesn't require direct physical contact, and is at least as cooperative as it is competitive. 

Also jugglers tend to be completely awesome.



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