If you call your spouse your "partner" you are weird.

Well, they put tiles in the land too...    drainage .. 

Tue Aug 12 2025 17:37:35 UTC from IGnatius T Foobar Subject: Re: The question of the year.

ooooooohhh... a tiller, with two Ls. Language barrier problem. Sorry. You're talking about plowing the land, not laying tiles onto a wall or floor.

For the sake of hypothesis, let's say I was doing something very manly, like cleaning the sparker of a tiling machine. And let's carry on and say a very big strong female shows up and tells me in clear uncertain terms that she wants some cuddle time.

I would ask where you got the tiling machine.  I still do it the manual way with thinset and spacers and grout.

Either way, when someone wants lovins in the middle of a job, we call that a "priority interrupt" and we stop what we're doing.

http://catb.org/jargon/html/P/priority-interrupt.html

if she knows your are lying, i'd say no. But i might be a bit biased too.

Mon Jul 14 2025 20:55:09 UTC from darknetuser Subject: The question of the year.

 The question is, then, is it abuse if you say you don t want it while you actually like it?

Fri Jul 04 2025 14:20:13 UTC from IGnatius T Foobar Subject: Re: Chinese "leftover women"

My wife of 30 years is very happy to be left to entertain herself most of the time. A healthy long term relationship eventually trends towards warmth and comfort and familiarity, and doesn't need to be fed with nonstop excitement.

You got yours to stay for 30!? Mine left me for another man after only 6!

I found out through a prophet of God that the first woman I proposed to back in 2002 on her 16th birthday that she's been training herself on her other men to come after me and "help" me overcome my prudish adherence to rules of law. (Statutory rape has rather high consequences, after all. Plus now she's 39 so she's not even underage any more!)

Not all of us females are 'in it for the money' and want an actual partner to share life with, not a "funding source" on 2 feet.

And don't kid yourself, tons of men are in it just for the 'fringe benefits' and if that drys up, they kick the woman to the curb ..  ( and no, not just the one you are thinking.. basically replacing their mother: cleaning. cooking, laundry, bla bla )

It can happen. Tho i wont go into details, its not impossible. 

Tue Jun 03 2025 19:11:19 UTC from darknetuser Subject: Re: Chinese "leftover women"

Also I am kind of "mehed" by claims that people is happy... 

There are ways around it. And super-oppressive nations are not beyond using them.

Fri May 23 2025 04:31:08 UTC from SamuraiCrow Subject: Chinese "leftover women"

Chinese women were treated so well under the one-child-only policy that they got advanced degrees, technical jobs in challenging fields, investment properties, cars and houses. Now they can't marry even though they are outnumbered by men in their own country. Why? It's impossible to impress them! No man of modest means will ever be "good enough". They've been spoiled their entire lives!

During the Covid fiasco, the Chinese government threatened them with consequences that would last to "the third generation after you". They snapped back: "We are the last generation!" Sadly, they are right!

Chinese women were treated so well under the one-child-only policy that they got advanced degrees, technical jobs in challenging fields, investment properties, cars and houses. Now they can't marry even though they are outnumbered by men in their own country. Why? It's impossible to impress them! No man of modest means will ever be "good enough". They've been spoiled their entire lives!

During the Covid fiasco, the Chinese government threatened them with consequences that would last to "the third generation after you". They snapped back: "We are the last generation!" Sadly, they are right!

ya but i hate to see her spend stupid money on such trivial items.

Sat May 03 2025 16:15:10 UTC from IGnatius T Foobar Subject: Re: Chocolate!

Chocoloateate don't need no reason :)

Well isn't that nice.

One of my partners came home late last night ( business trip ) and brought me a small box of chocolates.  Still spent too much on me but was nice.... 

Tue Mar 25 2025 22:50:53 UTC from zelgomer

2025-03-24 22:18 from SouthernComputerGeek <msgrhys@uncensored.citadel.org>

Perhaps I should elaborate; the people who who raised you deserve
respect if they raised you well.

 

I never meant you should put up with rape. Seriously, how the sam
hill was I supposed to know about that, PanaSonic?

You couldn't, that's the problem with being an absolutist. The good news is that now you can choose to learn from this and grow as a person.

And just how am I the one at fault here? He/she had a fucked up family and seems to think that means all families are fucked up and that the very concept of family is bad. And then whines about the supposed "patriarchy".

Mon Mar 24 2025 22:18:41 UTC from SouthernComputerGeek

Perhaps I should elaborate; the people who who raised you deserve respect if they raised you well.

 

I never meant you should put up with rape. Seriously, how the sam hill was I supposed to know about that, PanaSonic?

It's not just rape, though, I think the number of people out there who abuse their blood/family relationship out there is astronomically high. I mean, hell, most people's reasons for having children are pretty damn suspect to begin with.  And then historically, you have all the people who've built a world that is built on patriarchy and lineage.  It's seriously, seriously, fucked up.

Sure, I went to the extreme example, my direct (by adoption) bloodline is full of rapists, molesters, thieves, and other ilk, and people who enable it.  But I'm pretty sure almost everyone else's family is full of people who are ready to abuse the trust instilled by the people that raised them.  I can't be the only person who had "family" crawling out of the woodwork to find some way to take advantage of them when they got a new job or a pay raise or came into something, I can't be the only person who's ever said "no" to someone just to have them try to justify their poor actions with "but we're family!" .. Or even just being told "You have to love (or forgive or respect) them, they're (whatever relationship they are)."  Hell, just as simple as "Oh, here's Aunt Eileen! Give her hugs and kisses!" as a young child.  

Perhaps I should elaborate; the people who who raised you deserve respect if they raised you well.

I never meant you should put up with rape. Seriously, how the sam hill was I supposed to know about that, PanaSonic?

Thankfully my family ( both sides ) are not like that.

Even tho some of us don't agree on everything, we still agree we are family and support each other, and just avoid those subjects. 

Mon Mar 24 2025 21:17:57 UTC from IGnatius T Foobar

Yeah. I have "blood relatives" who I can be 100% certain I will never see again after both of my parents pass (and they're both around 80 years old, so...). Fuck that noise. Keeping company with toxic people just because you have ancestors in common is a really stupid idea.

Mon Mar 24 2025 12:27:30 UTC from SouthernComputerGeek

 

Mon Mar 24 2025 06:57:16 UTC from PanaSonic

 No one deserves respect because of their blood relation, or because they raised you or someone else close to you.

 

Go f*** yourself.

If more people did that instead of raising children to be clones of their own terrible selves, the world would be a much better place.

Sure, as someone else said, people deserve a default amount of respect, but plenty of people out there do things that cause that quantity to decrease rapidly.

My parents don't deserve respect because they are my parents.  My parents deserve respect because they did the best that they could figure out how to do, and they did it better than their own parents did.  My parents deserve respect because they kept as far away from the rest of our blood family to the absolute most they could, without completely alienating themselves.  My family's funerals are all celebrations that the molesters, rapists, thieves, and manipulators in the previous generations are all dying.

Yet someone at one of those funerals sat down with me, and said "I have to forgive them."  No, you fucking don't.  You don't have to forgive the man that raised you, but also raped you.  You don't have to afford them any respect, and frankly, you should let them die alone and unwanted.

Every time someone in my family did something absolutely shitty as fuck - oh, say, take unrequested pictures of me and my children at my father's funeral, or being a racist piece of shit, or not being given money because I just got a new job - and got told off, they would gnash and wail "But we're faaaaaaaaamilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" like that makes any of it fucking OK.

"Congratulations, you managed to bring someone into the world, who never asked to exist" does not automatically entitle you to any additional respect.

"Treat your father well, he's your father" (or whatever other relative) ... common refrain amongst the people in my family. .. *My* father, yes.  My father's brothers and sisters? His mother and father? "Good fucking riddance, the rat bastards." as he said.

I do think there is a 'base level' of respect for being a human, but that is easily lost due to one's actions, and would have to be earned back, and you don't get 'extra credit' due to where you came from. 

Mon Mar 24 2025 06:57:16 UTC from PanaSonic

 

 

No one deserves respect because of their blood relation, or because they raised you or someone else close to you.

 

Mon Mar 24 2025 06:57:16 UTC from PanaSonic

 No one deserves respect because of their blood relation, or because they raised you or someone else close to you.

Go f*** yourself.

Fri Feb 21 2025 19:52:31 UTC from SouthernComputerGeek

Although one thing I've neglected to mention until now is that it's not just the gay stuff; pretty much anything that diminishes the traditional family is encouraged by the left.

 

To tear down the family is to tear down civilization itself, which is their goal.

 

Fri Feb 21 2025 19:47:43 UTC from SouthernComputerGeek

And of course it's rising in Gen Z because it's being taught in schools now. The growth is artificially induced.

 

The "traditional family" is a societal construct, it doesn't mean anything at all. 

Entire cities, and nations, have waged war for years because of "family".  Family means *nothing* in the grand scheme of things.  "But we're family!!!" is the most abusive and manipulative phrase I've ever encountered.

If you aren't afraid of the word, the concept, then you are being manipulated by the "family".

No one deserves respect because of their blood relation, or because they raised you or someone else close to you.

in a way, it is in my generation too.  We are slowing dying off. 

Sun Feb 23 2025 19:40:24 UTC from darknetuser Subject: LGBT on the rise

Well, that is kind of fun,. because last time I checked, LGBQ++++ acceptance among the new generations was going down.

Although one thing I've neglected to mention until now is that it's not just the gay stuff; pretty much anything that diminishes the traditional family is encouraged by the left.

To tear down the family is to tear down civilization itself, which is their goal.

Fri Feb 21 2025 19:47:43 UTC from SouthernComputerGeek

And of course it's rising in Gen Z because it's being taught in schools now. The growth is artificially induced.

And of course it's rising in Gen Z because it's being taught in schools now. The growth is artificially induced.

It's a social contagion.

Well that is interesting.  Assuming its not fake numbers or targeted polling, i wonder if its truly increasing or just that those generations feel less restricted to say something as of late, or perhaps even feeling impelled to say something. Most people in my circles that are not 'traditional' would just refuse to answer in the first place. They just want to be left alone to live their life. And the couple that would are not in the least activists. "Oh, ya i am, have a nice day'

___

More than 9% of American adults now identify as LGBT as of 2024, a new poll released Thursday found.

The number of adults reporting to be “something other than heterosexual” has risen from 7.6% in 2023 to 9.3% in 2024, according to Gallup. The newest data shows a drastic increase since Gallup first began its polling on the subject in 2012, when only 3.5% held a non-heterosexual identity.

The statistic is driven largely by Gen Z with nearly a quarter of the generation claiming an LGBT identity, according to Gallup. Less than 15% of millennials and 5% or less of each Gen X, Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation report identifying as part of the group.

Since 2020, the number of people claiming to be LGBT has risen approximately 4 percentage points amongst Gen Z, two points amongst millennials and one point amongst Gen X, according to the poll. Overall, more than 5% of respondents say they are bisexual and just over 1% claim a transgender identity.

As with everything, it's all a matter of who was reporting on it.  That sounds subtle.

It was a Democrat rep doing a poorly thought out protest against the ban on baby murder, but something tells me you left that out on purpose.

Thu Jan 30 2025 21:26:36 UTC from Nurb432

As far as i know that is the exact wording.  And no, it was a male Representative.

Sure, it will never make it, but that it even is being attempted is mind boggling and scary that its being tried. 

Thu Jan 30 2025 20:05:56 UTC from IGnatius T Foobar

If those are the exact words ... "discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo" ... the bill is basically dead on arrival. That wording makes oral and anal sex illegal, but only for men. Also -- and maybe this was the hidden agenda -- it also makes gay sex illegal, but agin only for men. For that matter, it also makes sex with any type of contraception illegal -- once again, only for men.

Was the bill written by a lesbian?

 

As far as i know that is the exact wording.  And no, it was a male Representative.

Sure, it will never make it, but that it even is being attempted is mind boggling and scary that its being tried. 

Thu Jan 30 2025 20:05:56 UTC from IGnatius T Foobar

If those are the exact words ... "discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo" ... the bill is basically dead on arrival. That wording makes oral and anal sex illegal, but only for men. Also -- and maybe this was the hidden agenda -- it also makes gay sex illegal, but agin only for men. For that matter, it also makes sex with any type of contraception illegal -- once again, only for men.

Was the bill written by a lesbian?

Mississippi bill:   "the bill would make it “unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.”

wtf.  ' stay the hell out of our bedroom ' 

Nothing new. There are some around here that run 'real' food stores, with computers, cash registers, electric light. They drive cars..

Mon Jan 20 2025 18:54:32 UTC from SamuraiCrow

 

Some new-order Amish communities tolerate using a single computer or smartphone if it's used to run a business. I guess i just need to figure out a few dozen businesses that I can run without raising suspicion of ... "Tell me why this business has to run on a 30 year-old Commodore Amiga while your competitors are much more successful using a 20 year-old Linux box."

Sun Feb 04 2024 22:15:19 UTC from nonservator

I just want an Amish girl without having to become Amish myself

Some new-order Amish communities tolerate using a single computer or smartphone if it's used to run a business. I guess i just need to figure out a few dozen businesses that I can run without raising suspicion of ... "Tell me why this business has to run on a 30 year-old Commodore Amiga while your competitors are much more successful using a 20 year-old Linux box."

I think I've guessed correctly but he won't tell me whether I did.

i know its secret, but i do suspect you live on earth.

Wed Oct 30 2024 15:05:45 EDT from darknetuser Subject: Re: Advanced matchmaking tactics

Hmm, where do you live?

It is always wun to register I am the guy who gets that question the most often, considering I am a darknetuser and I am not disclosing my location.

Thu Oct 17 2024 08:32:09 AM EDT from darknetuser Subject: Advanced matchmaking tactics

... he showed to me a picture of her horse ...

Damn, I am scared they might get advanced enough to beat me one of these days.

Hmm, where do you live?

lol

at least they took the time to investigate the situation and adapted. 

Thu Oct 17 2024 08:32:09 EDT from darknetuser Subject: Advanced matchmaking tactics

I am sure you are familiar with the feeling of having every lady try to get her daughter or grand-daughter marry to you (if not, you are so lucky). Actually, this is not something that happens to me every day but it happens often enough for it to be a thing.

What happens is that ladies used to try very crude tactics for setting me up, but last lady at $job[1] tried somethign new and I am afraid these ladies could be evolving. Instead of showing me a picture of her daughter, he showed to me a picture of her horse, and of the runnaway horse she had brought home during a storm, and of the horse she met the other day...

Damn, I am scared they might get advanced enough to beat me one of these days.

My old dog.  When she was perhaps 2 or 3 we rescued a tiny kitten out in the weeds in the park that she discovered, as the weeds were taller than the cat.  ( well actually 2 kittens, but the brother was adopted by a friend of ours )

She basically raised that cat as her own, and they were attached at the hip.  When the cat was 5, she got sick and didnt survive.  For months any time the dog saw a large black cat during walks she'd about tear my arm out to get to it.   Other cats, 'eh whatever'.  I never expected that, i should have planned ahead better. Next time we lost one of her cat friends i made sure to take her to the vet with me. Its hard, but at least she knew.      She actually sat there beside me and watched. When he stopped breathing she started whimpering..   But, at least she knew why he didnt come home with us and wasn't looking for him every time we went outside.  And having her with me, was a good thing for me. 

its times like that i really wish i could talk to them.

Had another cat, who was attached to my first wife's cat like you would not believe.  They up and vanished few years later, and he was never the same after losing his 'mate'.. ( well, neither of us really, but this is about the animals, not me )

Fri Apr 12 2024 13:37:57 EDT from darknetuser

. She would lay right next to the spot the old dog usually takes and cry because he wasn't there.

good

Fri Apr 12 2024 13:37:57 EDT from darknetuser

Old dog is fine this morning, thanks for asking :-)

As long as they dont eat me, id not care.  So if i dont, im sure there are other people :) 

Never had problem with too many.

My sister has around 15 cats now.  couple of dogs.

just send me morticia, and call me gomez..

Sun Feb 04 2024 17:15:19 EST from nonservator

I just want an Amish girl without having to become Amish myself

I just want an Amish girl without having to become Amish myself

more like xena..   but same idea :)

Or women.. or anyone in between. at least the 'honest' ones.  "This is me, deal with it"

Sun Feb 04 2024 08:12:51 EST from darknetuser

I have bad news for the politicly correct crowd. When you tell men to be themselves, you will find this out:

Ya, 500 goes a long way for electricity, ammo, food, car fuel ( ok, not so much these days ), 1/2 a video card...  

Thu Jan 04 2024 18:37:08 EST from darknetuser

That is sheer madness.

I could buy another horse for the price and still have money to spare. I'd probably have enough extra to buy some welcome treats.

But then, Vegas is Vegas. I have heard of agency girls in the US billing 200 USD or so. Still sheer madness.

I cant speak for accuracy, as i really dont have friends in that world,  but according to something online for 2023 about Las vegas, where i think its legal:

"When you call a "Girls to Your Room" ad, the agency will charge $150 to $250 as basically a delivery fee, with absolutely no services included, despite what they might tell you.  When the worker shows up, you're supposed to negotiate a price with her for services, which typically start at $500.

How do they even justify that?  Idiots.  

Wed Jan 03 2024 18:34:03 EST from darknetuser

So, Tinder is launching a plan in which they bill you half a grand.

Per month.

WTF. Guys, if you ever feel the need to waste 500 bucks, please, send them to me instead.

So they are not like dogs, where they like 'their space'.

My uncle had horses on the farm. Did have the little stalls in the barn. Doors were open on them but it seemed like the horses went back to the same one each evening when i was there helping out..

Mon Dec 25 2023 10:05:46 EST from darknetuser

My horses have a barn, but it is not one of those boxed barns in which you place each horse in his box at night. It is just a big building which is all open area inside. I let the doors open so they can come in and out as they please.

Mine does not. it clearly shows me as the wierdo i am. I have nothing to hide. My friends know me, if they cant accept me for who i am, they are not friends.  And none of them get on the 'show boat' either.

The only thing that might remotely be considered false, is i listed a job as Sysop of The Village BBS, back in the dark times.  I wasn't being paid so not technically a job,  i dont do it now, but didnt add an end date ( who knows it might come back ).  But its not that far off of reality.

Sun Dec 24 2023 22:04:34 EST from darknetuser

Say you join your friends on a social media platform. One of them has a profile that shows him as a succesful business man. The other is doing lots of cool stuff helping poor kids in Africa. Another is an athlete who fucks a gal with the best tits you have ever seen. Then you realize you need to write your profile but your only claims to fame are winning a chess tournament in high-school and getting a job as a burger flipper. If you write that in your profile, everybody will know you are the absolute loser in your group of friends. You need to disguise the ugly truth so you don't lag far behind. Your profile then reads "Chess Master with a side job in the food processing industry". Of course, this profile is just as true as your friends' :-P

The platform is already there, seen those decades ago. I saw a story on it somewhere, and they toured their factory.  They actually use 'fake skeletons' modeled after ours inside them to make it even more realistic.  The images of the factory was odd, they were so realistic looking it was like seeing people hanging from the line ...  Not sure if they are still around, dont remember the name, but i was thinking at he time what a waste of technology.. they should be in the business of creating artificial limbs.  Not your grand fathers blow up doll.. ( and i think they ran about 10k each, early 2000s dollars )

Adding communication AI to them would be trivial. ( just off-load the heavy computation via wireless communications. Even i have done that for projects ) Adding sensors to the AI, also trivial.

Google is doing robots that run around based on chatbot type code. ( sort of neat really. " go make a sandwich"  and it does.. and unlike previous manual 'movement training' or 'trial and error' it 'knew' what to do from the AI model... and did it.

Adding realistic motion is not trivial, but if you have seen some of the work the Japanese are doing, it could be done today with effort.  And since synthetic mussels do exist...

And if you think Zhora was bad, beating up on a fellow skin-job, dont forget Charlotte Hale, who basically wiped out mankind. Or the Cylon skin-jobs.They nearly wiped out an entire species before they decided co-existence was the way.  ( cant comment much about the 'war' and such in BR.. it wasn't really expanded on. which is a shame, might have been a great followup movie, an origin movie )

Sun Dec 24 2023 21:30:57 EST from zelgomer

By the way, I'll be a lot more afraid when there are AI sex robots. I've seen Blade Runner, you don't mess with those. Especially the ones that like snakes too much.

But, your horse is alive. 

Unless hes in a box, then it might alive or dead... hard to say.  :)

Sun Dec 24 2023 10:43:35 EST from darknetuser

. It is a bit disturbing to watch, honestly, but it is also a logical course of events since people nowadays is lonier than ever and needs something to fill the void. Horses do it for me. These other guys prefer computers.

You should try running a model locally ( sure it will be slower, but its YOURS ). There is zero incentive to screw you when you run local models ( no pun intended ), and you can choose the type of bot you want, out of 1000s.. Opensource has liberated many things in the AI world. Take a peek at huggingface. its the hub of opensource AI. ( basically github for AI, but even the big players like Microsoft, Gogole, Meta, also put their stuff out there )

As far as 'conversational chat-bot'  ( unlike my use case for them, coding assistance ) some models are very good. Scary almost.  And yea, others suck.  And while the base models do overlap, they all additionally 'trained' for a specific purpose in life. Some for creating FPGA code, some to tell you what is medically wrong with you due your symptoms, another to help develop new chemicals...... and others to tell you that you are pretty and they love you... And each generation ( seems like its almost weekly now ) is a leap better than the previous, as we are still in that stage of unbelievable advancement now that critical mass was achieved last year.. There a few that are hard to tell they are AI, unless you ask it directly. And some will lie..

But, i do agree with the over all sentiment, if people are really getting emotionally attached when they know its AI, no matter how good, we, as humans, have a problem brewing. 

Sun Dec 24 2023 10:43:35 EST from darknetuser

 They bill by the number of responses you get. You can surely see where this is going.

I has said it befoar and I'll say it again:

People who harm animals deserve to be unalived.

Personally, i think they should be hunted down, subjected to the most painful death possible in the public square, then turned into animal feed. All their assets sized to pay for the care and upkeep of their animals.

But that statement has not been well received other places i have said that. But i have zero tolerance for animal cruelty.   Sure, we are meat eaters by evolution and we need cows and chickens, bla bla but even that can be done humanely. 

Sat Aug 12 2023 10:41:41 AM EDT from darknetuser

Here people will literally injure their animals so they can get
drugs, then take it themselves.

I hope they choke on them.

Too much chance of abuse. I have the same problem with something i give my cat. Makes it harder to get, and only so much at a time. 

Here people will literally injure their animals so they can get drugs, then take it themselves.

Disgusting scumbags dont deserve to breathe 

Fri Aug 11 2023 03:33:06 PM EDT from darknetuser

Horse drugs seem hard to secure for some reason and the vet didn't want to hand me much of it. 

We do have 2 other felines, but this one is my kitty.

Fri Aug 11 2023 15:27:17 EDT from Nurb432

Cool. 

Tho just one? i figured you would have more. My sister is up to 8 or so. i had as many as 6 at one point    Have had at least one at my side since i was 5 when i got my first cat out of my uncles barn as a kitten. He lived almost 20 years.  Went thru all of school and out of college with him beside me.

Name was Cindy. ( long story.. better for the pussy room )

Cool. 

Tho just one? i figured you would have more. My sister is up to 8 or so. i had as many as 6 at one point    Have had at least one at my side since i was 5 when i got my first cat out of my uncles barn as a kitten. He lived almost 20 years.  Went thru all of school and out of college with him beside me.

Name was Cindy. ( long story.. better for the pussy room )

My kitty!

Well, the affection you have for your animals is a relationship..    

Fri Aug 11 2023 11:26:19 AM EDT from LoanShark

*resists the urge to make snarky comment about horses being in the Relationships & Sex> room*

Are you gellin'?

Wed Aug 09 2023 22:36:18 EDT from zelgomer

You need to get your horse some Dr. Scholl's.

good

:(

Thu Aug 03 2023 10:32:13 AM EDT from darknetuser

Hello everybody.

It turns out my favourite mare has developped a bad case of laminitis. 

Wont get into details, but yes. you can still deeply care for a person who is mentally ill.

Wed Jun 14 2023 09:58:16 AM EDT from shazam

There’s more disfunction in the world than there is health. 
You see it in everything, including in relationships. 
Someone I know married a woman who apparently has borderline personality disorder. He says he is happy and understands she’s not well and he loves her and stuff. 
A lot of people around seem to suffer depression. 
It takes a heavy toll on relationships. 


 

There’s more disfunction in the world than there is health. 
You see it in everything, including in relationships. 
Someone I know married a woman who apparently has borderline personality disorder. He says he is happy and understands she’s not well and he loves her and stuff. 
A lot of people around seem to suffer depression. 
It takes a heavy toll on relationships. 


 

Often it works both ways.

Fri Mar 10 2023 02:17:45 PM EST from darknetuser

 but even a female magnet will be used and dumped once the female is bored. Beware.

roll your own gpt2..

https://github.com/Nurb432/nanoGPT/tree/master

I cant say 100% for sure as im still looking into that myself, but as long as you keep it to yourself and not open it up so its a single connection,  you can run it at home. 

Storage space is a bigger problem than resource.   Just get a big box, shove in a bunch of high end GPUs and that is enough.  But storage in the 20TB or more is needed. And fast storage.

Huggingface is a good start to this stuff .

Wed Feb 15 2023 06:08:18 PM EST from darknetuser

I wonder how many resources do you need to sustain a proper chatbot. 

Roll your own server. Its cheaper than a real GF.

Ok, not really but reality isn't as funny :)

And ya people can become addicted to anything.. Human nature.

Wed Feb 15 2023 05:47:44 PM EST from darknetuser

. The provider may decide to screw you over anytime they like or they are forced by a third party.

My wife did find it very weird the couple of times we ran into people who called me "Metallica". 

She got used to weird people calling me strange things, though. 

Sat Nov 19 2022 16:53:26 EST from Nurb432

I miss those days.

Far simpler world back then.

Sat Nov 19 2022 03:10:08 PM EST from IGnatius T Foobar

Right ... I was introduced to a few people as Iggy and for a while they thought that was my real name. That was during a time when the diaspora from dialup BBS (dialupspora?) was a source of friends in meatspace for a lot of us.

My wife and kids don't have names. I address them as honey-bear, dude, and girlie.

 

I miss those days.

Far simpler world back then.

Sat Nov 19 2022 03:10:08 PM EST from IGnatius T Foobar

Right ... I was introduced to a few people as Iggy and for a while they thought that was my real name. That was during a time when the diaspora from dialup BBS (dialupspora?) was a source of friends in meatspace for a lot of us.

My wife and kids don't have names. I address them as honey-bear, dude, and girlie.

That is different. I've known a Gotex, Uno, Beaner, Peanut, Cabbage... nicknames that kind of replace your regular name. I got everyone calling my nephew "Buttdart" when he was a kid, to the point where when he was an adult he had to warn a couple of people, "I don't go by that anymore..." 



When I was dating, twice dudes came up to me as I was standing with my girlfriend and said, "Metallica, dude, I haven't seen you in so long..." 

The SCA non-mundane name is a different level. It is like their actual name becomes a "deadname" to them, like that person they were is gone. Darian may have legally changed his name. 


Changing your known, given name is weird. I knew a Bishop who later became a Fleming. I didn't get that, either. 

I guess i cant say much  about it really. I went by my bbs/stage name for decades in daily life. Many people i considered close friends didnt even know i had a real name and just assumed it was ziggy and that my parents were weirdos ( not a common name but not unheard of ).

One time i was at a buddy's house i had known since middle school ( perhaps 15 years at that point ) and he made some comment about me by my real name. His mother: "who is that" .  We had a good laugh at that one.

Didn't help we had 2 people with the same name in my circles, so it was just easier to use my 'pretend' name.

Finally stopped using it at some point in the 90s as it DID become more common..  

Tue Nov 15 2022 09:05:33 PM EST from ParanoidDelusions

I suppose there must be some of that in Citadelphia and BBSing too... but it is far more manageable than a lot of other subcultures. 

 

Got a friend, he is a cool enough guy. He was Brian when we were growing up. Now he is Darian. 

Yup. And for SCA, he is actually pretty grounded. 

You get it in all cultures. Comics, FRP gaming, gun culture, car culture. The thought-police gatekeepers. It is what *always* turns me off to communities. 

I suppose there must be some of that in Citadelphia and BBSing too... but it is far more manageable than a lot of other subcultures. 

Tue Nov 15 2022 11:30:31 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

Yeah. We had a campus chapter back in the day, so it was mostly students plus a few people from the community who were pretty cool. Eventually we got tired of the SCA people and just split off and ran our own club.

And one of the reasons we got tired of the "real" SCA was because it was full of authenticity police. I don't care what the loudmouth Duke thinks; if we're having fun I'm going to take a few photos of the event. So go shove a cloven fruit up your ass, Angus.

You get this kind of thing all over the place, though, especially in any scene that includes some cosplay. Whether it's SCA or kigurumi or furries or even people who live in MMO games ... their personna becomes their whole life and they don't want anything to do with their "mundane" identity anymore.
SCA folks in particular will often even have their legal name changed to the name of their personna ... if they can manage to leave the sword in their car while entering the DMV :)

Hmm that explains something a friend of mine did.  ( technically her daughter but still a friend )

Tue Nov 15 2022 11:30:31 AM EST from IGnatius T Foobar

SCA folks in particular will often even have their legal name changed to the name of their personna ... if they can manage to leave the sword in their car while entering the DMV :)

I guess it is kind of an early form of Cosplay. Fantasy stories always seem set in alpine woods - and I do enjoy reading a good high fantasy story off in the woods. 

Getting to be dressed appropriately, in a tent-city full of merchants and other people living the part, wandering around - is kind of a cool experience. Kind of Westworld without the killer robots. 

Mon Nov 14 2022 07:33:16 EST from Nurb432

But the cosplay, nah, not for me. 

I used to camp and hike a lot when i was younger, sometimes even in small groups. So i get the outdoors angle.

But the cosplay, nah, not for me. 

It has its charms. If the event is at the right place, camping out in the woods with a bunch of people dressed up like Game of Thrones, drinking, fires, everyone on the same page - that can be a pretty good vibe. 

It was the... pressure to REALLY get in-group that bothered me. I was 17 or 18 the couple of times I went, and there were a lot of creepy middle aged dudes about. 

Ah, not my thing, now i understand why i never heard of it.

Society for Creative Anachronism. 

They do something between Renfair and LARPing. A bunch of mostly middle aged misfits out in the woods in elaborate tents, dressed up in medieval clothes they call "garb", getting drunk and trying to bone overweight chicks who call themselves wenches and who insist on effecting bad imitations of Shakespearian speech. 

The guys dress up in home made armor that is really... really intricate - usually smithied themselves, and then beat on one another with rattan wrapped in duct tape. They get pretty elaborate here too... wars, arrows with darts tipped with tennis balls, tourneys, feasts... Strong intersectionality with BBS culture. But there are some almost cult like aspects of the community. It is *really* a lifestyle to a lot of them that starts to seep into their real life. 

i hate to admit stupidity, but what is 'sca' ?

SCA was a fun idea - but there were too many people too *lost* in it - like a cult. A lot of people, it ended up seeping into their real lives, where they basically deadnamed their "mundane" reality and thought it was acceptable to walk around the community college dressed as a Bard and insisting you refer to them as "Draxon the Songsmyth". 

"Dude, what is your real name?" 

"My MUNDANE name was Luke Preston, but please do not refer to me by that identity past, kind sir - for that person twas I is dead to me now!" 

GTFO. Those folks always creeped me out. "One day I'm going to read about what they dug up that you had buried under your patio, aren't I???" 

Fri Nov 11 2022 09:22:49 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

Yes, of course ... those of us who were BBSers are now middle age. My wife of 28 years and I played around in SCA as well, but somehow we managed to avoid most of the debauchery. Back then you couldn't get monkeypox from a cloven fruit, I guess.

21 years here

Thu Nov 10 2022 06:45:18 PM EST from Greg Nesbitt

I wrote a whole reply about IRC chicks and then decided I'd better just leave the past in the past.
Met my wife of 18 years there though, good old channel #dallas on EFNet, but it sure took a lot of Ms. Wrongs until I found Ms. Right. The stories she tells about the locals are just horrifying.

I better not say much more about my days on IRC then.

Thu Nov 10 2022 01:51:12 PM EST from Greg Nesbitt

One girl was sharing a boyfriend with her cheating mother. ::shudder::

Hah! 

So, it is weird that geek culture... SCA, BBSes - that is always where I encountered girls my age dating men far too inappropriately older than they were - and everyone around was pretty cool with it. 

In the SCA, there was a 15 year old, she was dating a 30 year old. He was a "Lord" in the SCA, had a huge tent pavilion nearly as big as the King's - all his Knights and men were there, and so was the girl's *mother*. 

Someone explained that it was "period appropriate" to me. 

The girl was hot, too - and the guy was pretty much you would expect of a 30 year old men who had put so much of his life into pursuing the fantasy that he was living in the 1500s. I was about 17. I did not get it. 

Thu Nov 10 2022 13:51:12 EST from Greg Nesbitt

I was 18 before I had my first serious girlfriend, and then it took me the better part of a year to round all the bases, so to speak. Definitely atypical even for the early 90s. But I didn't drink, didn't smoke, and was more obsessed with BBSs than girls. There were 4 girls around my age on the systems, but they were all dating guys in their 20s. When they were 15. One girl was sharing a boyfriend with her cheating mother. ::shudder::
I did put the moves on my high school Spanish teacher, 20 years my senior.
You won't be surprised to learn that I didn't get anywhere, but she still gave me A, so I guess it was all good in the long view.

I was 13 and in 8th grade. 

In 1984. Maybe 83. 

I was late to the game among some of my peers. More than a few of them. 

Thu Aug 11 2022 18:56:22 EDT from darknetuser

2022-08-04 18:42 from Nurb432
Hell 14 year old kids have access to live sex..

14 is not the same as it was when we were 14. More like 20..

I have heard reports of 13 years old being the new age of having your first boink these days. They grow up so fast.

The 'right one' is a good thing.

Most people just settle for something less to save time. its why you see so much unhappiness.

Waiting is overrated. 

Wed Aug 17 2022 09:13:31 AM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

I was 23 and just married ... I guess there aren't a lot like me anymore.

Hell 14 year old kids have access to live sex..

14 is not the same as it was when we were 14. More like 20..

 worth a watch.

Tue Apr 12 2022 05:48:42 PM EDT from Nurb432

idiocracy comes to mind.  The movie "ass". 

Tue Apr 12 2022 05:19:04 PM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

We're swimming up current against an endless tide of idiots. 

 

 

That is exactly what I had in mind as I was writing this. The movie was prescient. 

Tue Apr 12 2022 17:48:42 EDT from Nurb432

idiocracy comes to mind.  The movie "ass". 

Tue Apr 12 2022 05:19:04 PM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

 

idiocracy comes to mind.  The movie "ass". 

Tue Apr 12 2022 05:19:04 PM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

We're swimming up current against an endless tide of idiots. 

 

Most of the people I know are "I just want to be entertained," people who don't CARE about the political things we care about. 

Even the political people... my former boss was a HUGE Trump fan, and was SUPER upset about the shit the NFL was pulling. He still never stopped buying tickets to the Cardinals. He TALKED a lot about boycotting them - but in the end, his desire for bread and circuses was stronger than his desire not to bend the knee. 

I am convinced this is *most* people. We are the outliers - and there are not enough of us to matter - and Disney, the NFL, Starbucks, Target - they know it. 

Convenience wins. Facebook is another example of this. Just a big, woke Supermall. 

They make Spiderman a black trans-girl and it still draws in billions in global box office - they don't *care* about what WE think. Because most people just want to go drop $15 for a ticket, $30 for popcorn, snacks and a tub of soda, and sit their brainlessly consuming The Fast an

Sun Mar 20 2022 06:59:11 EDT from Nurb432

Or, it just seems like it..  Marketing to make it look like 'you' are the idiot who cant handle good film and narratives.. Like 'you' are in the minority, when really 'you' are not.

Just going off personal contacts, sometimes i wonder if this is not really the case.. The truth may not be as it seems..

 

Sun Mar 20 2022 02:55:34 AM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I can agree on this. 

And evidently they still have a huge fanbase today who thinks things are just great. 

Or, it just seems like it..  Marketing to make it look like 'you' are the idiot who cant handle good film and narratives.. Like 'you' are in the minority, when really 'you' are not.

Just going off personal contacts, sometimes i wonder if this is not really the case.. The truth may not be as it seems..

Sun Mar 20 2022 02:55:34 AM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I can agree on this. 

And evidently they still have a huge fanbase today who thinks things are just great. 

I can agree on this. 

And evidently they still have a huge fanbase today who thinks things are just great. 

Mon Mar 14 2022 09:20:36 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

It was past the late 90s that it all crashed and burned.

Maybe it's like Saturday Night Live, where everyone agrees that it jumped the shark but no one agrees when.

I think the 70s and 80s is considered the decline of Disney. Don Bluth had broken away and it was predicted that Disney's dominance of animated films was a thing of the past. 

The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast were in the 90s, and were the Disney renaissance. Remember all the controversy about the ballroom scene in B&TB being digital? 

I'm talking about the period where they came out with Robin Hood, The Rescuers, The R Down Under, Pete's Dragon, Bedknobs and Broomsticks. 

Their live action children's movies were the only thing that got them through that period, I think. 

Sun Mar 13 2022 11:04:06 EDT from darknetuser

1980s Disney was meh. 1990s Disney was pretty awful. 21st century

Disney is downright repulsive.

I think many movies of the so called Disney renaissance are actually quite ok if not great.

It was past the late 90s that it all crashed and burned.

1970s Disney was a pretty fucked up time, too, as I recall. 

Everything was voiced by Hee Haw stars. 

But but but the aaagggeennddaa!

Tue Mar 08 2022 03:31:26 PM EST from IGnatius T Foobar

1980s Disney was meh. 1990s Disney was pretty awful. 21st century Disney is downright repulsive.

Oh Jesus. 

Sat Mar 05 2022 12:46:23 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

Is that where furries come from?

I have some furry friends.  I dont think that is how they were created. 

Sat Mar 05 2022 12:46:23 PM EST from IGnatius T Foobar

Is that where furries come from?

Filed under: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?!?

Thu Mar 03 2022 15:14:51 EST from darknetuser

2022-03-03 15:11 from IGnatius T Foobar
Animals are often more worthy companions than other humans.

Totally.

I have heard they are now allowing experiments towards mixing animal and human DNA. That opens the door for lots of interesting things. Time to have The Chat with the horses.

"See, mare, daddy mixed your DNA with his DNS in a tube, shook it, and that is where Minoequus come from."

I want to talk to my dog. 

Yes but she still does not want to talk about animals 

Mon Feb 14 2022 01:29:33 PM EST from darknetuser

2022-01-21 15:13 from Nurb432
For what its worth may be a bit before i hear back from my friend.

 

"This is a bad time to talk about horses"  i suspect she lost one

Any news from this gal?

I got a basket worth of apples as a Valentine gift for you-know-who. Everybody was suggesting it to me so I thought "Why not?" XD

Thoroughbred racing is big on the West Coast, and they're bigger than quarter horses, in hands... but do not have the mass of draft horses. 

And that is about all I know on the subject. My father was a jockey. 

Friends understand.   If they dont, then they are not friends.

Sat Jan 22 2022 06:15:34 AM EST from darknetuser

A big problem when one loses a pet is that nobody supports you and everybody thinks you are a drama Queen if you dare say you are sad. People always go "Man up, it was just a dog!" and shrugs you off. They minimize your feelings. And that sucks because it forces you to keep your feelings underground.

For what its worth may be a bit before i hear back from my friend.

"This is a bad time to talk about horses"  i suspect she lost one

She has a non-commercial farm. Lots of animals as pets, including skunks, possum, foxes, horses, dogs, cats. A large reptile or 2.

Sorry, shes spoken for.

I will ask her.. if anyone knows, she will.  ( at least for our area )

i have a friend here in my area ( midwest ) that has a few horses. I can ask her, if you give me the exact question ( since i dont know boo about them other than being animals, eat straw,etc )

Nah, just felt stupid, no damage to either of us other than pride.

(short version, i had been driving boats all summer. went to visit uncle up north and they had horses. Walking around the farm a bit, i Instinctively i turned 'early' to get around a tree.  of course horse turned THEN.   walked right into it and we were in the branches..  i'm sure he was thinking "dumb-ass human, ill show him" )

Foot, for some reason i curled my toes just as he stepped, didnt even see it happen .. tried to move my foot, no dice as the front of my shew was under his hoof.  i got lucky.

Sun Jan 02 2022 05:24:20 PM EST from darknetuser

I dont have any good horse stories, unfortunately ( other than
driving one into a tree.. and getting a foot stepped on. )

Oh, snap! I hope that crashing into the tree was not too bad.

Also, sorry for your foot. I wear armored boots just because of the possibility of having my feet flattened.

i was wondering where your horse story was going to end up. :)

Yes, i think this is the case with all pets. Its a mutual 'adjustment'.

I dont have any good horse stories, unfortunately ( other than driving one into a tree.. and getting a foot stepped on. )

Sun Jan 02 2022 05:45:38 AM EST from darknetuser

And then it hit me. She was teaching ME how to best pet her by rewarding me when I got it right.

That term is so 80s

almost. I know a couple of people who wants no part in it.

Fri Oct 22 2021 05:47:23 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

What is "sex-positive"? Someone who likes sex? Isn't that almost everyone?

I think you're both right. I think Nurb keys in on something wrong with modern psychology and the way it interprets "positive mental health."


Bonnie and Clyde could have ended up just a boring midwestern couple - him selling insurance, her raising kids.


Instead, this perfect hailstorm of dysfunction, co-dependence, and self-destruction gave their names *probable* immortality. 500 years from now, they'll be remembered much the same as Robin Hood.


Whereas most of the psychologists who would say that is an unhealthy way to look at it will be completely forgotten within decades of completing the 80ish years on Earth they've been granted. They won't make a single difference or any lasting mark in the record of humanity.

And psychologists are *profoundly* disturbed when you hit them with something like this.

So, you're saying The Son of Sam or Charles Manson were more important to society than what I do?


"Oh yeah, ab

One of those things where everyone knows the truth of it, but we're not supposed to mention it - because it encourages the Dylan Newbolds of the world to shoot up their high school.

in the right situation, codependency can work. 

Here is the thing... I don't think it is any better with a man.... or with a platonic relationship/partnership... or any time two people have to compromise. 

Weirdly, I was watching the GoGo's documentary on Showtime last night - and the Duran Duran one... 

And in both cases... Powerstation and Arcadia formed when Duran Duran split and each group went their own way - and it didn't work. 

And the GoGo's... Belinda Carlise and the songwriter got it in their heads, it seemed - that *they* were the band. "I write the songs, she sings them, the rest of you just play the instruments, and *anyone* can do that..." 

And that wasn't true. 

I said to my wife, "This is what wrecks relationships with great chemistry. People outside telling certain people that they're carrying the entire load - sometimes indirectly just by who gets paid more... and that sowing discontent - because people don't recognize that everyone is contributing an essential part to the en

Sun Sep 12 2021 17:16:06 EDT from LoanShark

After living with the same woman for about 14 years, I'm still not even qualified to talk about relationships.

this one works. And also really doesn't work.

28 years. 1 child. Happy marriage. Weekends, we often decide to hang out together rather than go out with other people - because other people annoy us and we're best friends. I still find her hot. We've had a financially successful life. 

It isn't always perfect. Sometimes she pisses me off. There is a lot of compromise. But... I think life would be quantifiably *worse* without her in it - for the few, mostly selfish benefits it would bring. 

 

I have seen them.

I have also seen disasters, but i have seen the good ones too, with no hidden stuff under the surface. I have also seen a lot of 'average' ones, nothing drastic in either direction. they just 'work'. for them.

Tue Sep 07 2021 07:41:09 PM EDT from darknetuser

I don't doubt happy marriages exist somewhere but I don't really see them myself.

I agree, it can happen.  If you dont pick the wrong person. 

Tue Sep 07 2021 04:45:02 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

This, combined with the fact I know no stable, happy marriages, kind

*raises hand*

27 years, two kids, happy home, things are pretty darn good

Sometimes not really 'MAD' just that its a whole lot of trouble, and expensive for everyone..  After you reach a certain point, its just not worth it and you 'accommodate' instead.

Dude...

There is so much...

Danny Devito gets laid.

After a lengthy enough relationship, generally a separation is fairly amicable - in part because of a certain sense of Mutually Assured Destruction - because whatever ammo she has against you, you have a similar cache against her - but also because you don't last that long without some sort of mutual respect, understanding, empathy and other qualities for the other person.

Which is probably why Devito and Pearlman haven't ever *divorced*, even though they separated.

I mean, a philosophy like this is kind of a recipe for being an incel. It is self defeating, "no one would ever want me unless I paid for it," bitter "women are the enemy..."

You're probably going to get lots of confirmation that you're "right" with this approach - and it doesn't sound like it is making you a happier person... being right. Maybe you would be better off being wrong?

Mon Sep 06 2021 03:48:23 EDT from darknetuser

2021-09-03 06:54 from Nurb432
Control is the key.  Not avoidance. 

Maybe.

I don't think I am getting laid ever unless I rent a hooker, and I like my money too much to spend it that way.

Keeping on-topic: Your wife will someday be your ex. You decide how much she does now about you and how much ammo she has against you.

Wouldn't they be driving electrics tho? Evil fossil fuel, ya know.

Sat Sep 04 2021 02:55:41 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

These offended millennials should post their identities and locations so we can siphon all of the fuel out of their cars.

heh

I did offer that if you want to clean up afterwards, to show how sensitive you are, if you're gay, there is always felching - then I told them to Google it. 

That ought to keep them busy cleaning their cache history for a bit. 

I donno, helping clean up afterward isn't all that bad either. 

Fri Sep 03 2021 07:54:24 PM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I argued "No. a condom absolutely makes things messier. If you're riding bareback, and you're not pulling out, the mess is your *partner's* to clean up of and dispose of." 

The worst part is that the way Reddit works, I get buried, because they go... "Offensive, sexist. Boomer!" and hit the downvote button. But the problem isn't that the post is those things - it is that they don't have basic comprehension skills when they *think* they've detected social injustice or inequity. They go into Pitchfork and Torches mode - and there is no reasoning with them. 

Which also reinforces this cycle of them being AFRAID to say anything unpopular, agree with anything unpopular, because it will diminish their voice and reach - and they *understand* that, for sure. 

They're being conditioned into having a hive mind by these mechanisms that reward AGREEING and punish disagreeing with the majority - even if the majority is completely wrong. It is a terrible direction society is headed in with these things. 

The "Democracy of the Internet," is *already* turning into the Tyranny of the Majority of the Internet. It didn't waste any time proving that point. <

I *hate* the generation who is the dominant voice on the Internet now. They're morons. 

Ok. Rants, or Relationships and Sex. 

On Reddit, someone posted to r/unpopularopinion that the prefer a condom because it "cleans up the mess." 

I argued "No. a condom absolutely makes things messier. If you're riding bareback, and you're not pulling out, the mess is your *partner's* to clean up of and dispose of." 

And of course, this triggered a bunch of the Millennial snowflakes on Reddit - who immediately labeled it "sexist." 

Which I get, on the surface. It is a total masculine, "I put it inside of you, I'm done with it... now go clean yourself up baby," kind of approach to the aftermath. 

So, I'm trying to explain - it isn't an opinion, it isn't sexism, it is fact. While trying to avoid being *too* graphic. 

Finally, I latched onto this example... 

GENDER doesn't matter. If a two gay guys go bareback - and the top finishes up inside the bottom... it is now BOTTOM'S mess to clean up the mess. It has literally been dep

Control is the key.  Not avoidance. 

it's the power of the snizz

Are part of the experience on a Citadel? 

Sun Aug 08 2021 16:09:00 EDT from Nurb432

What was that saying? "sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains...."

What was that saying? "sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains...."

A chain, a bat... a hammer. Just... be ready to defend yourself! :) 

Go big or go home!

Chains can leave bruises and make a lot of noise.  Or maybe you're into that kind of thing.

I guess pulling chains is appropriate for this room.

:)

Sat Aug 07 2021 09:21:25 PM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

. Pull up a chain, grab a beer, and join in. 

lol

Shit. You get a new user, and he posts something. Mine just cruise through, and never come back. 

Welcome to Uncensored. I guess this is where we wish you to die in a car fire, or something like that. Pull up a chain, grab a beer, and join in. We need the traffic. At least I do... keeps me off Facebook, Twitter and Reddit. 

Hello Guys am new here..

Thanks for the good wishes :)

Sun Jun 20 2021 03:00:48 AM EDT from arabella

So yeah, I'm getting married.

I don't know you, but congratulations.

Agreed

Mon Jun 21 2021 09:19:11 AM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

Well then, it seems that congratulations are in order.  Nicely done, you deserve to be happy.

Well then, it seems that congratulations are in order.  Nicely done, you deserve to be happy.

I guess that leaves me out, as an ex-Chicagoan :) 

Sun Jun 20 2021 03:00:48 AM EDT from arabella

"If it's  not NYC Pizza, its not Pizza, 

Cant take everything said too seriously :) 

Sun Jun 20 2021 03:00:48 AM EDT from arabella

You guys!

Sometimes you frightened me.

 

 

You guys!

Sometimes you frightened me.

###########

Meanwhile, across the pond.

Arabella got engaged, the wedding is tentatively planned for next summer.

If IG wants to attend, and bring Pizza, there will be Pizza,  otherwise there will be 'za (because I remember him saying "If it's  not NYC Pizza, its not Pizza,  its 'za. He said it some 15 -20 years ago, but I remember.)

So yeah, I'm getting married.

You mean using her back as a table for pizza, while in a walk-in freezer is an odd fetish? 

Thu Jun 17 2021 04:02:57 AM EDT from darknetuser

2021-06-10 13:47 from IGnatius T Foobar

It's the difference between just enjoying it yourself and knowing that

your partner is also enjoying it. For me, "bad sex" would be knowing

that she's just putting up with it, that's a gigantic turn off.

I thought bad sex was when she managed to break free from the ropes while you were at it.

You guys have weird fetishes.

ya, that is it.  i just could not remember the name.

Tue Jun 15 2021 11:44:23 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

Absorption refrigerators 

If you're on the island too and it takes long enough to get rescued... once I get bored with Michelle and the pizza from Delaware - sleep on your back. Variety is the spice of life. 

Tue Jun 15 2021 15:12:26 EDT from Nurb432

You can have my share. Ill pass.

 

Tue Jun 15 2021 02:12:00 PM EDT from LoanShark

trying to have sex with Michelle Obama. 

totally doable.

 

Tue Jun 15 2021 05:28:49 PM EDT from LoanShark

solar-powered freezer? just curious how that works

I think it is similar to a radio stations "deserted island classics", aka if you were stuck on a deserted island, what five albums would you want with you?  You would need a record player and electricity to play the albums, but unless you could have a source of food and water, it wouldn't matter. 

Its legit . As long as you have enough air flow.  The are just simple heat pumps. Not the most power efficient, but no moving parts or anything. 

I have a box of them somewhere ( loose devices, not as a cpu cooler )

Tue Jun 15 2021 06:50:53 PM EDT from LoanShark

Oh, the peltier effect. Did anyone here ever buy one of those old CPU coolers, way back in the Pentium II day? Seemed gimmicky, so I steered clear.

Gotta keep the leftovers cold.  

I know all about no fridge :) 

Tue Jun 15 2021 06:52:11 PM EDT from LoanShark

wait, are we still talking about pizza?

Either electricity generator panels and a battery for either a low power unit, or even a peltier effect one. Or use heat to generate steam to drive a pump, to move the coolant around. ( basically replace the electric motor in a traditional unit with a steam powered motor )

There was a 3rd way, but id have to fo find it again.  it was rather unique and used direct heating of coils, and did 'something' with it.  Saw it on YouTube one time i was bored.

Tue Jun 15 2021 05:28:49 PM EDT from LoanShark

solar-powered freezer? just curious how that works

You can have my share. Ill pass.

Tue Jun 15 2021 02:12:00 PM EDT from LoanShark

trying to have sex with Michelle Obama. 

totally doable.

Put me on a desert island with a dozen pigs, 6 cows and Michelle Obama, and a freezer full of Pizzas from Deleware.  

Eventually I'll get around the Michelle and the pizzas, to the relief of the cows and pigs. 

Because the original argument is that bad sex is like bad pizza - still better than none at all. 

Tue Jun 15 2021 14:12:00 EDT from LoanShark

trying to have sex with Michelle Obama. 

totally doable.

Thanks. im going to be giving my dinner to my dog now.  *shudder*

:) 

Thu Jun 10 2021 05:08:12 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

trying to have sex with Michelle Obama. 

yup

Thu Jun 10 2021 01:47:38 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

It's the difference between just enjoying it yourself and knowing that your partner is also enjoying it. For me, "bad sex" would be knowing that she's just putting up with it, that's a gigantic turn off.

Again, all of these things apply to pizza, too. 

Ultimately, I can make the best out of bad sex or bad pizza better than I can make the best out of no sex or no pizza. 

I mean the elephant in the room is that if you can do it without the other person even being there and enjoy it - and you can't figure out how to make it good for yourself when they're there... 


The bad experience isn't them, so much as you. ;) 

It wasn't at the time tho.   

Thu Jun 10 2021 11:54:30 AM EDT from LoanShark

LOL, this is the relationships & sex room ;)

To me, its more than that.  

But that is a topic for a different room . 

Wed Jun 09 2021 12:11:10 PM EDT from ParanoidDelusions

If you're a male and you've had really bad sex, you're doing it wrong. Sometimes you've got to make your own happy ending to the story. 

 

If you're a male and you've had really bad sex, you're doing it wrong. Sometimes you've got to make your own happy ending to the story. 

Wed Jun 09 2021 12:04:12 EDT from LoanShark

Whoever said that has obviously never eaten pizza in Delaware. Do
*NOT* eat pizza in Delaware. You have been warned.

Whoever said that has obviously never had *really* bad sex. (And/or is probably male.)

Yup... that is it. Not surprisingly, you remind me a bit of this guy. 

I must admit, I've never had pizza in Delaware, but I've had sex that wasn't worth finishing a couple of times in my life. 

Fri Jun 04 2021 19:48:07 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

 I used to have a friend that used to say bad sex is like bad pizza
- still better than none at all. 

"Pizza is like sex: when it's good, it's really really good; when it's bad, it's still pretty good."

Whoever said that has obviously never eaten pizza in Delaware. Do *NOT* eat pizza in Delaware. You have been warned.

I learned this watching Saturday Morning cartoons when I was eight. I thought this was common knowledge, 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-BBoVUdOf4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-BBoVUdOf4

Special accommodations does seem to be the root of the problem. The idea that we have to bring them along rather than they have to figure out how to keep up. 

Tue Apr 13 2021 16:54:15 EDT from Nurb432

 That is my line too ( and what i mean by in the face ).  Acceptance that they are different, and dont treat them poorly due to being them different.  But accommodation? No more than they should accommodate me.

 That is my line too ( and what i mean by in the face ).  Acceptance that they are different, and dont treat them poorly due to being them different.  But accommodation? No more than they should accommodate me.

I agree with this too. In the past you got beat down, you learned to conform and fake it, or you became so marginalized, you didn't matter. 

Now we're so focused on those marginal people - and they're able to communicate and organize, and instead of them figuring out how to adjust to society, we keep telling society that it needs to change for them. 

I understand the complaints about how the old way of doing things treated them, the unfairness and the lack of sympathy for their challenges. But I'm not sure this new strategy is working out all that well for anyone, either. 

Tue Apr 13 2021 07:39:48 EDT from Nurb432

All i know is my entire life, i have seen them. They were there.  Just had no outlet. If they tried, they were beat down. Now they are supported, and can be out in the light ( so to speak )

At least around here until 'recently', society would maintain order and conformity.  Conform, or you end up in tiny circles.  Now, not so much.

 

All i know is my entire life, i have seen them. They were there.  Just had no outlet. If they tried, they were beat down. Now they are supported, and can be out in the light ( so to speak )

At least around here until 'recently', society would maintain order and conformity.  Conform, or you end up in tiny circles.  Now, not so much.

No... I think Ig is right on this one. Something changed culturally - and a big part of it was the facade of Facebook. 

I used to freely admit that my Facebook feed was carefully curated to show the BEST highlights of my life, with all the mundane, trivial, or unpleasant fodder removed - almost solely to make people I hadn't seen since High School feel less successful about their lives. If I were living in a tent by the river - I'd make it LOOK like the most idyllic, rewarding lifestyle possible on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram. 

Mercedes of Sacramento used to have a terrible slogan in the early 90s for their used car lot... "Perception is more important than reality." 

I hated it. But I knew they weren't wrong. 

And the whole Party Rock mentality that arose in the early 2000's is just an extension of that. "I'm always out clubbing, in the VP line, drinking top shelf liquor on a Wednesday with the best looking people, spending obscene amounts of money a

But yeah... My sisters and my brother were born in the 50s, grew up in the 60s, became young adults in the 70s. They were still doing the same high-school bullshit with the same circle of friends in the 90s as I was becoming a young adult... and I saw I didn't want to be the next cycle of that circle. It was the same drama... the same circle of once popular kids sleeping with one another and endlessly reliving their glory days. 


I mean... my Nephew is my age, almost my brother - and when we sit around and drink, we certainly love to retell the exploits of our high school and early young adult single days. It is fun to talk about when you were young and had the world by the balls. But we both LEFT it behind and sought things personally more rewarding. But my friends who stayed in the city I grew up in - they're still doing the same things, with the same people - exactly like I thought they would - and they're still stuck in their heads in their High School and early college days. 
<

Mon Apr 12 2021 17:48:40 EDT from Nurb432

Nah, they were always there. Just waiting for a supportive outlet. 

Mon Apr 12 2021 14:49:39 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

They are shallow, vapid, uninteresting, and often intolerable. And now there are millions of them.

 

Nah, they were always there. Just waiting for a supportive outlet. 

Mon Apr 12 2021 14:49:39 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

They are shallow, vapid, uninteresting, and often intolerable. And now there are millions of them.

Most i know, are not like that. They do believe in 2nd chances. 

Fri Apr 09 2021 10:32:55 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I'm like a woman about relationships. Done is done. 

I'm like a woman about relationships. Done is done. When I was single, and I'd get nostalgic for "how things were," I was really good at reminding myself of "why things that were, weren't anymore." 

When I hit about 45 - a bunch of my high school sweethearts started showing up on Facebook - quite a few of them telling me in private messages how unhappy they were in their current relationships, how they had regrets about our relationship, a couple of them were just straight out blunt. 

In all cases, I would have considered any move a downgrade...  I tried to be gentle... "You know, this is just a mid-life thing - where you start wondering what would have been... everyone goes through it. I did, it passes..." 

There is truth to that. A lot of it is just "glory daying".

"When we were in our early 20's... we owned the world... it was party-rocking all week long!" 

Sure. But I'm 45 now. Also - I quit that lifestyle for a number of reasons - the least

Thu Apr 08 2021 14:40:40 EDT from Nurb432

I did several years later. ( going on 20+ years now )

But i would have done #1 again, without thinking twice and knowing the turmoil it would bring.   Sort of did in a way, she got 'better' and returned home a couple of years later.  But then things started getting sideways in her head again, and drifted away ( never said i was smart :) )

Thu Apr 08 2021 13:33:20 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

To be fair, marriage was a one shot thing for me. If it didn't work out right the first time, I do not think I would have tried again. 

 

Wed Apr 07 2021 14:42:52 EDT from Nurb432

My first. me 25, her 18. 

Problem is we grew up together, so we learned to ignore ( and in our case, totally mis-understand ) each others "shortcomings" over the years. Unfortunately some were severe mental illness that was not conquerable, that only got worse over time. From what i gather, even afterwards she had many 'dark days' to suffer thru on her own.

Was not from a lack of trying.

 

 

Wed Apr 07 2021 00:35:52 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I got married at 24, to a 19 year old. 

 

 

 

I did several years later. ( going on 20+ years now )

But i would have done #1 again, without thinking twice and knowing the turmoil it would bring.   Sort of did in a way, she got 'better' and returned home a couple of years later.  But then things started getting sideways in her head again, and drifted away ( never said i was smart :) )

Thu Apr 08 2021 13:33:20 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

To be fair, marriage was a one shot thing for me. If it didn't work out right the first time, I do not think I would have tried again. 

 

Wed Apr 07 2021 14:42:52 EDT from Nurb432

My first. me 25, her 18. 

Problem is we grew up together, so we learned to ignore ( and in our case, totally mis-understand ) each others "shortcomings" over the years. Unfortunately some were severe mental illness that was not conquerable, that only got worse over time. From what i gather, even afterwards she had many 'dark days' to suffer thru on her own.

Was not from a lack of trying.

 

 

Wed Apr 07 2021 00:35:52 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I got married at 24, to a 19 year old. 

 

 

To be fair, marriage was a one shot thing for me. If it didn't work out right the first time, I do not think I would have tried again. 

Wed Apr 07 2021 14:42:52 EDT from Nurb432

My first. me 25, her 18. 

Problem is we grew up together, so we learned to ignore ( and in our case, totally mis-understand ) each others "shortcomings" over the years. Unfortunately some were severe mental illness that was not conquerable, that only got worse over time. From what i gather, even afterwards she had many 'dark days' to suffer thru on her own.

Was not from a lack of trying.

 

 

Wed Apr 07 2021 00:35:52 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I got married at 24, to a 19 year old. 

 

My first. me 25, her 18. 

Problem is we grew up together, so we learned to ignore ( and in our case, totally mis-understand ) each others "shortcomings" over the years. Unfortunately some were severe mental illness that was not conquerable, that only got worse over time. From what i gather, even afterwards she had many 'dark days' to suffer thru on her own.

Was not from a lack of trying.

Wed Apr 07 2021 00:35:52 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

I got married at 24, to a 19 year old. 

I got married at 24, to a 19 year old. 

We've been married 27 years now. Been together for about 28.5. 

Many people over the years have said things to the effect of, "I don't know how you do it, I couldn't put up with that..." 

I tell them, "I need someone who keeps me on a short leash." 

Nocse Te Ipsum. It isn't for other people to judge the dynamic of my relationship with my wife. There is *never* a time when I don't want to be hanging out with her, and usually, I'd rather hang out with her by myself than in any particular group. 

My Nephew told me once that his relationship with his (ex) wife was turning into best friends, and he hated that. I told him, "That is what you want... but, you've got to be able to bridge having her be your best friend and *still* wanting to f*ck." 

A couple of times in the past few years, I've been sitting in my car, and a woman has walked by out of the corner of my eye, and I instantly drew down on that

In return, people ask her all the time how she can be with me, how she can put up with my arrested development and irreverent, laid back, nonplused attitude. 

She tells people she would be a neurotic mess without me telling her to calm down, relax, enjoy life, stop worrying - that things are going to happen and the tighter you try and control those things, the LESS likely you are to get the outcome you were desiring. 

We're complete opposites in many, many ways. But we're very alike too. And where we are opposite, those oppositions generally bring balance to the other person. 

The trick about thinking with your dick or thinking with your brain in finding a partner is - you need to balance THAT, too. Too little of one or the other - and it'll never work. People tend to overlook one or the other and focus solely on whichever one is most important to them. I started screwing around in 7th grade, was fully active by 8th grade, and had a reputation for "dating" the prettiest

Often times people dont pay attention and think with their crotch, not their brain. 

Others use their brain, but dont realize their brain is screwed up. 

Sun Apr 04 2021 18:36:00 EDT from darknetuser

We're talking about a relationship here. We're talking about THE

relationship that is most important in most people's lives. This is a

To be honest, people is so bad at picking and carrying out these sorts of relationships that I am not eager to get in one myself.

I keep hearing how great they are, but most people I know IRL who get into it end up badly burned by it.

People are egotistical bastards who deserve to die and most likely don't care that much for your feelings. Being married makes no difference. Obviously, if the egotistical bastard you chose for yourself makes you feel bad, you need to find another egotistical bastard.

In all honesty, the ones that say some hard truths to your face are much, much much better than the ones that only tell you what you wanna hear and then stab you in the back as soon as you turn the other way. Some people are very good at it and will get people to trust them after it is proven he stabbed them in the back. Motherfuckers.

There is a saying in my language that translates to English as (closely) "The one who loves you the most is gonna make yo

Well, i never said it was already popped.... 

Thu Apr 01 2021 15:24:37 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

Might I suggest marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers might be a more appropriate and interactive snack? :D 

 

 

We have also been using Reese's Cups with our marshmallows. The problem tends to be if you're doing s'mores, it is cold, and the heat from the Marshmallow isn't enough to really get a good melt of the Reese's... which is ironic, being that Reese's tend to be a lower meltpoint chocolate than a Hershey's bar. 

Might I suggest marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers might be a more appropriate and interactive snack? :D 

Thu Apr 01 2021 13:49:23 EDT from Nurb432

Normally, i just bring the popcorn. 

Wed Mar 31 2021 23:51:09 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

The real question seems to be, which one of us constantly pours the gasoline, and who is the other that constantly strikes the match. ;) 

 

Wed Mar 31 2021 17:25:55 EDT from Nurb432

Well, this didnt go well.

 

:)

 

 

Here is the problem - and it is always the problem. You're projecting your emotions, the dynamics and norms of YOUR relationship, as an absolute, as a standard. You are going, "I wouldn't like that, it would hurt my feelings, and my significant other wouldn't like that, it would hurt her feelings." 

Which is fine, on a personal level. 

When you tell someone else who is experiencing this, "that is abusive," this is where problems arise. "That would feel abusive to me..." is entirely different than "that is abusive." 

The first one sets personal boundaries. The second one tries to extend your personal boundaries to OTHER people in their own personal lives separate from yours. That is where the political lines get drawn. Because one side is better at "I don't like this thing, but if it floats your boat, it is none of my business," than the other. The other side tends to go, "I don't like this thing so much that not only do I not do it, but it offends me when YOU do it, too

Thu Apr 01 2021 11:12:45 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

I agree, forget about whether you can draw parallels to politics. You can draw parallels of just about everything to politics, and most of us have had more than we can take of that.

We're talking about a relationship here. We're talking about THE relationship that is most important in most people's lives. This is a context where you DO consider "teh feelz" because you CARE about the other person. So yes, you choose words and phrases that get the message across without hurting the other person's feelings. Your spouse/SO/partner/whatever isn't some random anon on the Internet who's going around looking to be offended. When you care about someone you don't trash talk them, not to their face, not behind their back.

I can't believe anyone would actually feel otherwise.

Normally, i just bring the popcorn. 

Wed Mar 31 2021 23:51:09 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

The real question seems to be, which one of us constantly pours the gasoline, and who is the other that constantly strikes the match. ;) 

 

Wed Mar 31 2021 17:25:55 EDT from Nurb432

Well, this didnt go well.

 

:)

 

The real question seems to be, which one of us constantly pours the gasoline, and who is the other that constantly strikes the match. ;) 

Wed Mar 31 2021 17:25:55 EDT from Nurb432

Well, this didnt go well.

 

:)

Well, this didnt go well.

:)

Your position on this, and the response you're seeing against it, breaks *predictably* along lines of political ideology. 

It isn't "above politics". It is intrinsically linked to the foundations of political ideology that science has studied and confirmed multiple times in peer reviewed research. 


Asserting that it is "above politics/ideology" illustrates an inherent bias. "I want you to agree with this basic premise, and I'm going to browbeat you by claiming that it is of a higher moral ground than political ideology, shaming you if you disagree." 


This is a common technique of the intellectual dishonesty of the arguments of the Left spectrum.

"Relationship councilor types," are "social scientists" and social science is a *soft* science. Many people recognize this and understand that the social sciences are one of the most damaging studies of the sciences to the credibility overall of the scientific community - although again, *this* opinion als

Wed Mar 31 2021 10:41:24 EDT from LoanShark

Quibble all day about whether it's abusive or merely bad, we were talking about something someone's wife apparently said (? I'm not clear on the context.) Most relationship councilor types would agree that's not a constructive way to express a point; avoid categorical language like "you always do X."

Simple, basic stuff that should be above politics/ideology. (That stuff belongs in the propaganda room.)

I dont see it as that. I see it as an honest expression of what she thinks. 

Now "you suck because.. " sure, but that didnt happen.

Mon Mar 29 2021 18:09:28 EDT from LoanShark

^abusive language.

I think it is one of our biggest problems in society today that frank, brutal and honest language is seen as "abusive". 

I DGAF about your feels - your feels are not as important as facts. Sorry if that hurts your feelings. I'm not being ABUSIVE to you - I'm being honest. Of course, we had that for 4 years, and half the WORLD lost their collective, fragile minds having to hear him not care about their feels on Twitter every day. 

Mon Mar 29 2021 18:35:18 EDT from darknetuser

2021-03-29 18:09 from LoanShark

^abusive language.

I don't think that is abusive language as much as it is unsensitive language.


My friends used to tell me my life must suck because I meassure everytnig in terms of success and failure.

Current wife one day  "your life must suck, you only see things one way, no colors in life just shades of grey and no reaction at all"  

Could not say it better.

Wed Mar 24 2021 16:09:43 EDT from ParanoidDelusions

You're doing this to yourself. It is because you're probably highly intelligent - and you can't shut down your train of thought like a simple, average person - and this is probably why you have difficulty connecting to people. They're too dumb for you. 

It is a frequent problem for people in the kind of circles we run around in - where we prefer to keep our social contacts distant and separated by a keyboard and monitor. 

Stop finding the cloud in every silver lining. 

 

You're doing this to yourself. It is because you're probably highly intelligent - and you can't shut down your train of thought like a simple, average person - and this is probably why you have difficulty connecting to people. They're too dumb for you. 

It is a frequent problem for people in the kind of circles we run around in - where we prefer to keep our social contacts distant and separated by a keyboard and monitor. 

Stop finding the cloud in every silver lining. 

Fri Mar 12 2021 10:40:51 EST from darknetuser

Hello, everybody.

I feel very weird this week. It turns out that some project I have kicked into motion has actually atracted some people who is interested.

At first I felt incredibly happy that I had managed to create something that somebody found valuable. By that I mean I felt I was having the best week I had in the last two years.

Then I realized the reason why I was so happy about it is because nobody ever gives a fucking damn about anything I do, or has since when I was born, so the experience of being socially accepted (even by the sort of nerds without social life the project attracts) was actually new to me.

I think this has highlighted how much of a broken person I am so I am having a bit of a backslash now.

When i went 'away; for college i kept in touch with no one. Big middle finger as i walked out.  I came back locally to finish up, and the 2 guys that i hung out with happened to also be locals so we have kept in touch ever since.  Funny, we were all born within a week of each other.

High school, only one person, unless you count the best friend's family i grew up as 'part of', and later married into ( and then divorced out of ). I sort of keep in touch with them.  Its spotty, and difficult at times.  

I've always felt that a couple of guys who my wife didn't pick feel like she picked a loser to marry. 


And a couple of my ex-girlfriends have said very unkind things about my wife to me over the years. 

We've been together for 28 years. So I think it worked out well for *us*... 

And honestly - knowing my wife - the guys she rejected weren't a good match for her. One in particular, was a guy who thought he was in "all" ways superior to me. He thought he was a better person, more intellectual, physically superior - and he was smitten with my wife extra bad, and *never* understood her rejection of him, made worse by how devoted she became to me. 


I've always felt bad for the dude - I think it was a great disappointment to him that he had a lot of difficulty overcoming. 

But I don't think he ever realized it was as much she wasn't the one for HIM as it was that he wasn't the one for her. 

I got dumped in high school

But yeah, psychotic unstable girlfriends are *fun* when you're high-school or college-aged and party-rockin' all the time. :) It led to all kinds of Jim Morrison type escapades that made my fame grow among my social circles and pretty young I realized that MOST girls don't want a boyfriend... they want an accessory... like a Coach handbag. You're not competing with the other GUYS, so much as competing to be the thing on her arm that makes all the other girls want that thing on THEIR arm. You can leverage THAT into a circuit of trips to the clinic to ask your doctor, "Should I be concerned about this?!?" 

:) 

That is as much true with this kind of female at 45 as it was at 14, from what I see. The woman that I married saw through this. I had to chase her down for a long time. She made me get to know her. She got to know me. She made it clear that she wasn't going to eff around and that she was perfectly willing to move on immediately with no do-overs if I made any mistakes. At the s

LOL... my niece told me that she exclusively dates black guys after seeing the way my Nephew and I treated our girlfriends in High school...  (We're all about the same age). 

I told her, "Yet I married my wife and we've been married for 27 years and have been successful in our relationship and our finances and you see how I treat her, how supportive I have been.... The lesson you should have learned was, "don't be someone who is easily discarded, shallow, superficially pretty and easily replaceable."" 

My niece is still single at 44 and has had two fairly casual but long term relationships. There is more going on - she was raised by men-hating liberal feminist women in my family, who are also all single spinsters - and come from a long line of single spinsters. 

The girls I dated when I was single were like Happy Meals. Cheap, disposable, and consistently amusing for the investment I made in them. Not all of them... but the majority of them were. I'm not a mysoginist -

Wed Jan 27 2021 17:51:59 EST from LoanShark

28 years later, ex-bimbo is still single - and probably still certain

that her emotions and reality is far deeper, complex, full of truths

and more complete than the one my wife and I share. ;) 

Bingo. TBH, life is hard word and deeep connection, sexual or otherwise, is secondary to just showing up for each other and doing the boring drudgery and acting with commitment. Especially if you have kids. I don't, but that's another story.

Sounds like your ex is a Head, you may have dodged a bullet. ;)


Don't get me wrong, I think there's a place for bizarro psychedelic energy on occasion, too.

Yup. Exactly. 

When we were engaged, my wife, then my fiancée was at a party and was talking to my ex-girlfriend, a cosmic, dippy, experimental, avant-garde airheaded bimbo.... and said vapid ex told my wife about her new boyfriend, 


"You can't understand how in love we are, how deep our connection is..." 

28 years later, ex-bimbo is still single - and probably still certain that her emotions and reality is far deeper, complex, full of truths and more complete than the one my wife and I share. ;) 

 

Wed Jan 27 2021 12:29:17 EST from LoanShark

the themes - but I feel like they're the kind of musicians who think
they're far more enlightened about *everything* than *anyone* else. 

BUT WE'RE PSYCHEDELIC PROG-ROCKERS SO WE UNDERSTAND THE DEEP TRUTHS

Oh 'bella! I'm so sorry! 

If you need to talk, I've had some serious heartbreak, though... not after that kind of time. I mean my husband is sick of me, but not in an acute way... just... can't stand the whole thing anymore. Especially under Corona.

but I've been cheated on and treated like trash after falling in love...

Mon Aug 03 2020 11:40:31 AM EDT from darknetuser @ Uncensored Subject: Re: Caution, self Pity Ahead.

I suck at comforting people too. I am probably a closet autist.

IMO it is much, much better to discover your significant other is a shady bastard before you get seriously engaged. I mean it. My mother discovered which sort of backstabbing bastard my father was once I had been born and there were mortages to be paid, at which point you can't really go through a divorce or anything, and are stuck with the bastard forever.

13 years, 'Nuff said.

We're working on a resolution. It will not be easy. Fortunately, there are no kids (I'm infertile) and the mortgage is paid.

Sun Aug 02 2020 12:19:27 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored Subject: Re: Caution, self Pity Ahead.

Ouch.  That's terrible, and I'm so sorry to hear about it.  If you don't want to go into any further detail that's fine, or if talking about it helps, that's fine too.

I've never had my heart broken by a love interest, but I've had friends walk away without an explanation, and yes, it hurts.  So this must be worse.  Dunno if that sounds compassionate or not, but that was the intention.  I suck at this.

I read it as compassion. You don't suck as much as you think.

Ouch.  That's terrible, and I'm so sorry to hear about it.  If you don't want to go into any further detail that's fine, or if talking about it helps, that's fine too.

I've never had my heart broken by a love interest, but I've had friends walk away without an explanation, and yes, it hurts.  So this must be worse.  Dunno if that sounds compassionate or not, but that was the intention.  I suck at this.

Caution, 

Self pity ahead

Do not read this post unless you are made of compassion, I am critically fragile.

1 week ago my life fell apart, shattered by the man I love.

it has been the longest week of my life, a week in which I discovered that the man I loved, and would have married without hesitation had vanished, to be replaced by some shadowy figure who I just don't know, who looked and acted like my love, but wasn't.

A veiled figure living a secret, and sordid life, hidden from me "to protect me." 

It didn't tho'

I've lost my wonderful life.

I can never go home, the home I spent over a decade creating is a now a memory loaded with sadness, my beautiful garden, into which I put hours of planning and work, and finally finished just a couple of months ago, might now just as well be a wasteland, for my joy has been stolen.

I may never be the same again.

You can be right or you can be happy.  Choose wisely. 

Tue Apr 09 2019 02:04:44 PM EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

I get the idea though. I'd like to have more of the kind of friends

that live nearby and can get together and do stuff all the time.

People are overrated.

Ragnar and I are in accord. I need to be more careful what I wish for

I keep telling people to learn to juggle and go to juggling meet-ups. 
Juggling is very physically interactive, but doesn't require direct physical contact, and is at least as cooperative as it is competitive. 

Also jugglers tend to be completely awesome.

I think it is a valid statement.  The technology separates us.

phones:  You don't have to visit another person you can call.

texting: You don't need lengthy call just text.

social media:  You don't need to communicate just read a facebook post. 

We are alone, we no longer need to be standing next to another human to communicate. 

I'm a proponent of Meetup (meetup.com)...you'd be amazed at the various meetups/get togethers for almost every sort of interest.

Looks like too much hard work

I'll just have to do my aquatic singing alone.

Until recently my lack of friends has been a non-issue.

The total number of friends I have is 0. (This number does not include my partner.)

Recently tho' I have considered that it might be nice to have one. Although I do worry that my independence would be compromised.

Also, I realised I don't actually know how to start a friendship.

I'm sorry for your loss.  

When something like this comes along, we don't have the words, and wish we could say something to make the hurt go away for you. 

We really should all be in therapy together....

My wife and I are approaching 50 and have been together for about 33 years. Neither of us are what we used to be, but apparently I still wear wife goggles, as our sex life the last few years has reached new heights. We still both agree I need a second wife, preferably an Amish girl who wants to go English but thinks Rumspringa is too degenerate.

that's sweet. yes.

Wed Aug 15 2018 10:46:55 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

My sister had a funny observation about me I guess I didn't know.

She mentioned this young lady we both know who... tries hard... but isn't an intellectual giant by any stretch of the imagination. Apparently, she's going to this obscure college in Florida that my sister thinks has a beautiful campus, etc. "Her grandmother works there," she said.

"Oh! That's how she knows about the place!" I replied.

"That's what I love about you," she said, "you didn't assume her grandmother got her into the college. You just figured that's how she knew about it."

I decided to look it up because  anonymous was too lazy to provide links, facts or information.  It seems Rubio was arrested, and it was nothing and of course nothing like anonymous emphasized.

There were several articles, an article from the Washington Post called the area of his arrest "a crime plagued park", not "a gay cruising area"  It said he was never taken into custody.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/rubios-summer-of-90-an-arrest-then-newfound-purpose/2016/01/21/3582a72e-c04d-11e5-bcda-62a36b394160_story.html 

In an article from Miami New Times magazine they said Rubio was technically arrested, but according to those interviewed, he was not handcuffed or taken into custody. Instead, he was handed a notice to appear, and the charges were eventually thrown out. New Times publications tend to be VERY liberal and very open minded.  By open minded I mean they have covered "alternative lifestyles" and have sections dedicated to gay issues.  Being that they are liberal and support gay causes they would have had a field day with a republican candidate and a gay sex story.  They didn't think it was a big deal.The title of the article was "MARCO RUBIO GOT ARRESTED IN MIAMI IN 1990 (BUT IT WAS FOR SOME BULLSHIT)"

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/marco-rubio-got-arrested-in-miami-in-1990-but-it-was-for-some-bullshit-8196538

I don't know if anonymous was trying to stir up trouble or if he is just ignorant.  

Here is another link and they thought it was stupid kid stuff. (International Business Times)
http://www.ibtimes.com/election-2016-what-was-marco-rubio-arrested-age-18-miami-2276157

You need details, references and sources for that, the most important thing is what was he arrested for.  Arrested at 18 for a misdemeanor might be not that big of a deal.  Not only is "a known gay area in Miami" broad accusation, it is meaningless.  South Beach can be considered a "gay area" but it has great restaurants, entertainment and the beach, it is visited by heterosexuals and many tourists.  

Come back with details and facts and leave out the demographics.   Thanks

The officer should get hazard pay for having sex with one of those people.

I don't think this is anything new, it is a typical undercover sting operation.  

People not being dishonest in a relationship isn't new either.

well, I guess this case is something for the tinfoil hatters:

http://thejusticegap.com/2016/01/12400/

undercover officers starting relationships with their work subjects to better monitor them. So sick.

But seriously, you should take time for yourself. Have the dad watch after the kids and go on s shopping spree, hiking or simply sitting in a park staring at ducks. Dads can be assholes about that, since we enjoy staring at TVs our self very much... 

Suspect part of the reason for the hiking is so that they are NOT with her...  :-)

Do so! Babysitting grandpas are a win-win-win-win situation....

So, was the movie any good?

What about leaving the kids with their grand parents while going out? I have no love for babysitters, but if the grandparents take care of our son, we do like to go on a christmas shopping spree, to a nice dinner or we visit a (movie) theatre. The kid does enjoy the time with grandpa, too.

But I rarely find the time to meet with friends, too. It is getting better now that our son grows up a little.

"Hello, Dave"

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jagrap/4204227686/

The interwebs confirm it.

"No, man, *I* am Dave.  Let me in.  I've got the stuff.  I think the cops saw me."

Now that's knowing what you want....

Don't think I've ever heard of a match quite that single-minded.  Good for you, Sig.

wow. Can't imagine how my twenties would've been without the angst of dumping and being dumped repeatedly...

not finding the wisdom.... just finding myself getting older and more decrepit.