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[#] Thu Dec 20 2018 11:22:47 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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I'm not super nervous. ugh. What if the chemistry that's so strong with

our clothes on leaves with our clothes?

Whatever chemical this is, you should bottle it.

[#] Fri Dec 21 2018 10:50:27 EST from pandora @ Uncensored

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IG, I think it's just when people have compatible pheremones.

[#] Wed Dec 26 2018 10:32:05 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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So the idea of people "having good chemistry" is supposed to be literal?

[#] Thu Dec 27 2018 11:51:38 EST from pandora @ Uncensored

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Yup.

[#] Fri Jan 25 2019 18:03:08 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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One of my partners likes to say: chemistry is not something you "have"; rather, chemistry is something you "find."

Meaning, you have to work for it. Every time.

[#] Tue Jan 29 2019 08:20:51 EST from pandora @ Uncensored

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I'm not buying that. If the chemistry isn't there they can work for it and it ain't gonna happen.

[#] Wed Jan 30 2019 12:29:19 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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I'm agreeing with pandora there.

Sometimes, the potency of the chemistry makes you do stupid things. Other times, nothing could make it work... or if there is something, it requires an effort beyond recommendation.

[#] Thu Jan 31 2019 19:31:07 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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You're both reacting to a related assertion, but it's not exactly the assertion I was making. So let me try again.

In my experience, you can get with the *most* *attractive* *partner* in the world--yet the chemistry might be smoking hot your first time with them, but then you have problems with arousal the second time you get together with them. So it ends up requiring patience and work and conscious effort to keep things from getting stale and boring. Even when the chemistry is there.



Sometimes we all have days when we're just not in the mood--at least those of us who are not all the way at the right hand side of the asexual/sexual spectrum. Or sometimes we have days when we drank too much...

Or for some of us, myself included, we're at some level turned on by novelty or turned on by taboo, and those can be fetishy things that stop working for us after a while, or even, like only work the first time.



I've been in a relationship for 11 years now. I'm not sure I know any couple who's been together that long that's just as sexual as when they first met... (ahem, show of hands?)


(And said 11-year relatioship was never really primarily about sex in the first place, but that's another discussion for another post)

[#] Thu Jan 31 2019 19:35:27 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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2019-01-29 08:20 from pandora
I'm not buying that. If the chemistry isn't there they can work for it

and it ain't gonna happen.

So what the fuck do we all do when we're old and wrinkled and we don't turn each other on like we used to. There's got to be a way to make things work when the chemistry is no longer what it once was. Because the alternative is, to me, unacceptable.

To put it another way there's chemistry[1] and chemistry[2], you have to work for the latter.

[#] Fri Feb 01 2019 10:04:44 EST from pandora @ Uncensored

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I'm talking actualy physical chemistry. Like the person might not even look physically atttractive to you, but your hormones and theirs match so well that you just cna't help having amazing sex.

[#] Fri Feb 01 2019 10:29:36 EST from pandora @ Uncensored

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https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/14/science-of-attraction-_n_6661522.html for example

[#] Fri Feb 01 2019 10:41:08 EST from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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And there's physical attraction, emotional attraction and mental attraction.
Over times, the levels differ and mix interestingly.

[#] Sat Feb 02 2019 11:19:40 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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I'm talking actualy physical chemistry. Like the person might not even

look physically atttractive to you, but your hormones and theirs match

so well that you just cna't help having amazing sex.

I wonder if that happens when two people have a high degree of genetic compatibility and are likely to produce strong healthy offspring.

Really though, you should sit down and draw a bunch of Punnett squares before mating.

[#] Tue Feb 05 2019 12:09:47 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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Really though, you should sit down and draw a bunch of Punnett squares

before mating.

My compatibility matrix is complexifying out into more and more sub-dimensions over time :-/

[#] Sun Feb 10 2019 10:36:27 EST from nonservator @ Uncensored

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My wife and I are approaching 50 and have been together for about 33 years. Neither of us are what we used to be, but apparently I still wear wife goggles, as our sex life the last few years has reached new heights. We still both agree I need a second wife, preferably an Amish girl who wants to go English but thinks Rumspringa is too degenerate.



[#] Sun Feb 10 2019 12:38:56 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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"wife goggles" :-D

Just remember, the more she drinks, the better you look ;)

[#] Mon Feb 11 2019 08:57:59 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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New Years Resolution #2: continue to practice zero-tolerance for the cyber-bullying that's been coming at me from certain quarters.

Even if it means ending my relationship (which, technically speaking, I literally just did last night; "you are dead to me"; "stop harassing my friends"; "if you f* with my friends, you f* with me."

[#] Mon Feb 11 2019 11:13:32 EST from pandora @ Uncensored

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My advice is if it's over, it's over. If you've stated it as such you need to keep moving forward. Because using a breakup as a threat would be a shitty way to continue the relationship.

[#] Mon Feb 11 2019 11:29:09 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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There's truth in that, but there have been lots of shitty ways to continue this relationship and none of them were coming from me.


What you're objecting to is the "don't say it if you don't mean it", aspect of all this, but that's what I've been getting from her, over and over again. Bad faith communication.

[#] Mon Feb 11 2019 12:03:44 EST from pandora @ Uncensored

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Well, you said it, did you mean it?

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