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[#] Thu Feb 02 2017 10:06:58 EST from ****

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GLOSSY TACOS.

[#] Fri Apr 21 2017 09:20:30 EDT from ****

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Bill Cosby, and the Anthrax Satellite



[#] Tue Apr 25 2017 17:01:16 EDT from ****

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We have a an office in San Dimas. The UPS keeps going incommunicado, there.

I keep asking if Bill and Ted have taken it on a trip through time.

[#] Wed Apr 26 2017 16:34:51 EDT from ****

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Non sum iniquus.

[#] Wed Apr 26 2017 19:15:29 EDT from ****

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Yes but if you subtract the sum....



[#] Thu Apr 27 2017 13:07:20 EDT from ****

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... if you aren't anywhere at all.

[#] Fri May 05 2017 06:58:56 EDT from ****

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At this point, her left ventrical started to purr. "I love you, vitreous humor. And I want to prove myself to you." And so, she attacked.

[#] Fri May 05 2017 09:39:56 EDT from ****

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In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.



[#] Thu May 11 2017 22:33:35 EDT from ****

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Bea Arthur, Rosie O'Donnell and Micheal Moore were having a threesome...



[#] Tue Jun 06 2017 20:39:32 EDT from ****

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Hi, this is the answering machine, please leave a message after the tone and I will get back to you.



[#] Wed Jun 07 2017 11:59:16 EDT from ****

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The message you have received is not in service at this time. If you would like to leave you name and number <click>

[#] Wed Jun 07 2017 19:02:24 EDT from ****

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Wax on Wax off.

Check on Chekov



[#] Sat Jul 01 2017 09:40:47 EDT from ****

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And now ... sit back, relax, and die.

[#] Sat Jul 01 2017 21:57:15 EDT from ****

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Meh, can you provide me with a comfortable chair and some Valium?  



[#] Sun Jul 02 2017 02:20:47 EDT from ****

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You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll kiss $8 goodbye.

[#] Wed Jul 19 2017 12:22:00 EDT from ****

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Welcome to Planet Valium. The slopes are especially slippery this time of year. Please bring extra ears for the vibrant colors.

[#] Sat Jul 29 2017 12:20:16 EDT from ****

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In space everyone can hear you scream, they just chose to ignore you.



[#] Tue Aug 01 2017 14:35:19 EDT from ****

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Whee...electricians, outside, augered into an existing circuit between our generator and our building.

Oops.

[#] Sun Aug 06 2017 13:46:01 EDT from ****

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This is not an actual message.



[#] Mon Aug 14 2017 15:00:23 EDT from ****

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Q) What do you call an overweight Timothy Leary dressed as a woman?
A) A trans fat acid!

ahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaa!



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