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[#] Thu Dec 24 2020 16:14:59 EST from zooer

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You may not have said it but when you went for the test you implied that you wanted it to happen. 



[#] Thu Dec 24 2020 18:39:16 EST from nonservator

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What's Latin for "Loud shrieking and gagging noises implies consent"?



[#] Thu Dec 24 2020 18:48:42 EST from LoanShark

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I do declare victim blaming ;)

[#] Sun Dec 27 2020 03:00:05 EST from arabella

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Mon Dec 21 2020 03:32:37 PM EST from ParanoidDelusions

Have you heard someone say this, on their deathbed and certain of their imminent passing from this world? 

And did they live full and fulfilling lives of accomplishment without any empty spaces, if so? 

I think there is a more abstract point to the post. I think you would be hard pressed to find a pleasant-to-be-around person with an agreeable nature who was generally a net benefit to Earth and mankind who leaves this mortal coil without any ongoing genetic contribution to the future of humanity. 

Being happy that you never had children is admission of several possible things, all of them negative and/or narcissistic. 

Either you think that you had no value to human legacy, and that your gene pool is best a genetic dead end. 

Or you think it could only get WORSE from where you are. 

Or you don't want to put your genetic legacy into the future they would inherit. 

At worst it is a misanthrope statement - "The universe would be better without humanity, and I'd like to do my part to move us in that direction, by doing nothing." 

It isn't a selfless act of altruism. "I won't have children so that the world will be a better place for all the people who DO have children."  That might be the wrapper people try and disguise it in - but it is almost always the expression of selfish, narcissistic expressions. 

Which is why people who embrace this philosophy seem to get so hostile when they're called out on it. I'm not saying you're a terrible person if you don't have kids. It is your life, spend it how you want to.  But - don't try and sell me that it is because you're concerned about overpopulation. I'm not buying that. I think it is more likely you don't want to share your stuff or to be responsible for another tiny little human and how they turn out. It is about you. 


Mon Dec 21 2020 10:45:54 EST from zooer

I have heard people say they are glad they have no children.  There are people who feel the earth is over populated and don't want kids.



 



PD,

When I said it, I was looking at things from the other side of your argument.

Not that the world would be better without my offspring, but that they would be better off without the world.

My outlook changed, and I like to think that my son has a positive impact in some way.

It is possible, given the current state of Earth, and many of its nations, that I was right the first time, and should have stuck with Plan A



[#] Sun Dec 27 2020 03:10:03 EST from arabella

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Wed Dec 23 2020 02:33:28 PM EST from IGnatius T Foobar

Yeah, well ... give bella a break, it's been a tough year and some things hit home more than others.



It has indeed been a tough year, but I don't want anyone to feel they can't speak as they think. We are, after all adults, and inhabitants of Uncensored.

I appreciate your support. It's good to know someone has my back. 



[#] Sun Dec 27 2020 19:51:26 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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Which is fair enough. I never thought I'd have a kid, and my wife was starting to freak out by our late 20's that I might intend to keep that promise. 

Then my Nephew (near my age - see the story of my convoluted family history in Religion> ) had a kid and managed to raise her and I thought to myself - well, if HE can do it... 

So, at around 31, I became a father - and regardless of anything else, or the world she inherits - it enriched my life and made me a far more complete person. Primarily it taught me about true unconditional love - which is a whole essay in itself I'm not going to go into here. Then, his daughter died at 2 from a bacterial meningitis infection - while my kid was only 9 months old.

It turns out she is broad spectrum autistic (and self-diagnosed in her Sr. Year, with a follow up professional clinical diagnosis where the physician said, "we *never* have anybody who is self-diagnosed actually be on the spectrum, and she barely is - but without a doubt, she is.) It became more obvious as she grew older the areas that she was developmentally delayed in, that she did suffer from acute anxiety and that we missed a lot of signs through the first 17 years of her life. 

Now she believes she is LGBT - she is an outspoken Leftist, she thinks socialism is generally a good thing and capitalism is generally a bad thing - and she sees most things in binary terms and once she has defined black and white, it is nearly impossible to get her to change her mind - she has to come to the right solution herself, often through processes requiring a lot of misery and suffering. 

But - I wouldn't change it - and she is a net asset for the world - and the world she inherits will be her own to navigate. 

Sometimes, especially lately - I've had reservations and regrets about the world I brought her into. But ultimately, it is HER life, not mine - and easy or hard, full of joy or misery - she picked a straw and gets to live it - just like *every* human being to ever be born ever before her. 

If one entire generation at any time had said, "the future, the direction of the world, is too uncertain to bring a child into this suffering..." humanity would have ended long ago. 
All things considered, this is the BEST time in human history to be born - and we act as if it is the WORST. 

Whoever your ancestors were who survived the plague, the Mongol horde, the 100 years war., the collapse of Rome.. whatever other period in time you might think of where the future seemed uncertain - you wouldn't have been here and none of your experiences would have happened and nobody who shared those experiences would have had them - if they had decided not to screw with a result, intentional or not. 

 

Sun Dec 27 2020 03:00:05 EST from arabella


PD,

When I said it, I was looking at things from the other side of your argument.

Not that the world would be better without my offspring, but that they would be better off without the world.

My outlook changed, and I like to think that my son has a positive impact in some way.

It is possible, given the current state of Earth, and many of its nations, that I was right the first time, and should have stuck with Plan A



 



[#] Sun Dec 27 2020 19:54:02 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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Some people were born to see their world collapse into the Soviet Union, where they would live out the entire span of their lives. Others were born into the Soviet Union to see it collapse, to see the wall come down, and to see a world their mothers and fathers didn't live to see. 

You don't KNOW what life your child will get - but you have kids and hope they'll have kids that also eventually have kids, and so-on, so that eventually someone from your genetic lineage will have a better life. 

 



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