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Mon Dec 21 2020 03:32:37 PM EST from ParanoidDelusionsHave you heard someone say this, on their deathbed and certain of their imminent passing from this world?
And did they live full and fulfilling lives of accomplishment without any empty spaces, if so?
I think there is a more abstract point to the post. I think you would be hard pressed to find a pleasant-to-be-around person with an agreeable nature who was generally a net benefit to Earth and mankind who leaves this mortal coil without any ongoing genetic contribution to the future of humanity.
Being happy that you never had children is admission of several possible things, all of them negative and/or narcissistic.
Either you think that you had no value to human legacy, and that your gene pool is best a genetic dead end.
Or you think it could only get WORSE from where you are.
Or you don't want to put your genetic legacy into the future they would inherit.
At worst it is a misanthrope statement - "The universe would be better without humanity, and I'd like to do my part to move us in that direction, by doing nothing."
It isn't a selfless act of altruism. "I won't have children so that the world will be a better place for all the people who DO have children." That might be the wrapper people try and disguise it in - but it is almost always the expression of selfish, narcissistic expressions.
Which is why people who embrace this philosophy seem to get so hostile when they're called out on it. I'm not saying you're a terrible person if you don't have kids. It is your life, spend it how you want to. But - don't try and sell me that it is because you're concerned about overpopulation. I'm not buying that. I think it is more likely you don't want to share your stuff or to be responsible for another tiny little human and how they turn out. It is about you.Mon Dec 21 2020 10:45:54 EST from zooerI have heard people say they are glad they have no children. There are people who feel the earth is over populated and don't want kids.
PD,
When I said it, I was looking at things from the other side of your argument.
Not that the world would be better without my offspring, but that they would be better off without the world.
My outlook changed, and I like to think that my son has a positive impact in some way.
It is possible, given the current state of Earth, and many of its nations, that I was right the first time, and should have stuck with Plan A
Wed Dec 23 2020 02:33:28 PM EST from IGnatius T FoobarYeah, well ... give bella a break, it's been a tough year and some things hit home more than others.
It has indeed been a tough year, but I don't want anyone to feel they can't speak as they think. We are, after all adults, and inhabitants of Uncensored.
I appreciate your support. It's good to know someone has my back.
Which is fair enough. I never thought I'd have a kid, and my wife was starting to freak out by our late 20's that I might intend to keep that promise.
Then my Nephew (near my age - see the story of my convoluted family history in Religion> ) had a kid and managed to raise her and I thought to myself - well, if HE can do it...
So, at around 31, I became a father - and regardless of anything else, or the world she inherits - it enriched my life and made me a far more complete person. Primarily it taught me about true unconditional love - which is a whole essay in itself I'm not going to go into here. Then, his daughter died at 2 from a bacterial meningitis infection - while my kid was only 9 months old.
It turns out she is broad spectrum autistic (and self-diagnosed in her Sr. Year, with a follow up professional clinical diagnosis where the physician said, "we *never* have anybody who is self-diagnosed actually be on the spectrum, and she barely is - but without a doubt, she is.) It became more obvious as she grew older the areas that she was developmentally delayed in, that she did suffer from acute anxiety and that we missed a lot of signs through the first 17 years of her life.
Now she believes she is LGBT - she is an outspoken Leftist, she thinks socialism is generally a good thing and capitalism is generally a bad thing - and she sees most things in binary terms and once she has defined black and white, it is nearly impossible to get her to change her mind - she has to come to the right solution herself, often through processes requiring a lot of misery and suffering.
But - I wouldn't change it - and she is a net asset for the world - and the world she inherits will be her own to navigate.
Sometimes, especially lately - I've had reservations and regrets about the world I brought her into. But ultimately, it is HER life, not mine - and easy or hard, full of joy or misery - she picked a straw and gets to live it - just like *every* human being to ever be born ever before her.
If one entire generation at any time had said, "the future, the direction of the world, is too uncertain to bring a child into this suffering..." humanity would have ended long ago.
All things considered, this is the BEST time in human history to be born - and we act as if it is the WORST.
Whoever your ancestors were who survived the plague, the Mongol horde, the 100 years war., the collapse of Rome.. whatever other period in time you might think of where the future seemed uncertain - you wouldn't have been here and none of your experiences would have happened and nobody who shared those experiences would have had them - if they had decided not to screw with a result, intentional or not.
Sun Dec 27 2020 03:00:05 EST from arabellaPD,
When I said it, I was looking at things from the other side of your argument.
Not that the world would be better without my offspring, but that they would be better off without the world.
My outlook changed, and I like to think that my son has a positive impact in some way.
It is possible, given the current state of Earth, and many of its nations, that I was right the first time, and should have stuck with Plan A
Some people were born to see their world collapse into the Soviet Union, where they would live out the entire span of their lives. Others were born into the Soviet Union to see it collapse, to see the wall come down, and to see a world their mothers and fathers didn't live to see.
You don't KNOW what life your child will get - but you have kids and hope they'll have kids that also eventually have kids, and so-on, so that eventually someone from your genetic lineage will have a better life.
I appreciate your support. It's good to know someone has my back.
Always. I care about everyone here more than you can imagine.
And we appreciate you are still around too. Both for what you do with the code, and hosting a place for us to be.
Even if some of us were around years ago, and sort of wandered off as life got in the way. But i'm back.. Tho under a different, less common name. ( donno if that is good or not that i'm back.. :) )
Others were born into the Soviet Union to see it collapse, to see the
wall come down, and to see a world their mothers and fathers didn't
live to see.
I want to die on 2023-mar-10, when my daughter turns 18.
On the other hand, I want to outlive Bill Gates, so I can have a tremendous celebration when he meets his overdue and well-deserved demise. Drinks are on me when that happens.
Have to have an old style BBS party. Every one gets drunk and talks about the old days.
Mon Mar 08 2021 13:46:02 EST from IGnatius T FoobarOthers were born into the Soviet Union to see it collapse, to see the
wall come down, and to see a world their mothers and fathers didn't
live to see.
I want to die on 2023-mar-10, when my daughter turns 18.
On the other hand, I want to outlive Bill Gates, so I can have a tremendous celebration when he meets his overdue and well-deserved demise. Drinks are on me when that happens.
Are you younger than I am, Ig?
My kid is 20. Soon 21.
I am 21 years past my assumed maximum expiration date. I literally outlived my expected life span to legal drinking age.
So I'm staying up, drinking low carb beer, trying desperately to get drunk enough to justify taking tomorrow off, and I can't seem to achieve it.
The party *is* over, it seems.
Mon Mar 08 2021 13:46:02 EST from IGnatius T FoobarOthers were born into the Soviet Union to see it collapse, to see the
wall come down, and to see a world their mothers and fathers didn't
live to see.
I want to die on 2023-mar-10, when my daughter turns 18.
On the other hand, I want to outlive Bill Gates, so I can have a tremendous celebration when he meets his overdue and well-deserved demise. Drinks are on me when that happens.
Yeah, I just turned 51.
Tue Mar 16 2021 18:38:00 EDT from IGnatius T FoobarI might be a bit younger. I will be 50 this year.
Not too much more. .56.. Wife is 8 years older. To the day. Makes it easy to remember birthdays :)
We are all in the same 'group', so to speak.
Without a doubt. :)
Wed Mar 17 2021 17:04:54 EDT from Nurb432lol i guess id be the guy who got us all liquor for parties since i was 21 first :P
I mean, adult parties are different... they're invitation only invents... but high school and college parties are more about being part of a network of people who *know* about something happening at some place, most often.
Most house parties are some guy saying, "let's party this weekend..." to a few of his friends, and then those friends telling their friends, who tell their friends and by the time it goes down, MOST of the people there are *crashing* the party - and the party wasn't really ever supposed to be a party - it was just people getting together but took on a life of its own.
I threw a couple of keggers. We just put the word out and hung out in a park - until so many people showed up that the cops arrived and we all had to run.
Sat Apr 17 2021 13:58:58 EDT from IGnatius T FoobarI didn't get invited to parties.