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[#] Fri Oct 23 2015 14:47:39 EDT from zooer

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Fri Oct 23 2015 01:12:18 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar
You should have clicked the button on the web page that connects you to a Turing-incomplete automated agent who pretends to be a human.

On a lot of phone systems you can just mash 0 until you get to a (poorly trained and unable to help you) live operator.

I think I'm going to change the outgoing greeting on my voice mail now.

---

Thank you for calling. Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed.
For quality assurance, this call may be monitored or recorded. To continue in English, press 1. Para continuar en Espanol, oprima el numero 2. Please stay on the line; your call is important to us and we will be with you as quickly as possible. For faster service you can also use our automated customer service system on the web at w... w... w... dot... com. Or if you would prefer to leave a message, please wait for the tone.

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While typing that web address I realized how difficult it is to type just one "w". Try it.

I know about the dial zero "trick"  However I didn't want the "operator", I wanted service, which is the original number I called.  You see, silly me thought that the number listed for service was the number directly to service.  I was also complaining about the entire ridiculous process.  Dialing zero would have delayed the whole processes.  When I called the other day nothing worked, not "zero" not two.  When I stayed on the line so somebody would help me I was disconnected.

I type one "W" by itself all the time.  



[#] Thu Oct 29 2015 16:33:18 EDT from zooer

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Last week I made my appointment for a yearly state inspection on my car.  The day of the appointment I receive a voice message:  (automatically transcribed and emailed to me)

Hi, I'm calling from XXXXX Honda for zooer You have an appointment for state inspection here on your 2010 car this afternoon. We are having some issues with state inspections. We ran out of stickers so the wait times to get the inspection done or pretty significant if you'd like. I'm would probably advise I'd give you Nissan dealerships phone number you might want to give them call xxx xxxx cuz what we've been having to do  isend cars over to our other dealerships to get it inspected which does add lot of time then we're not 
expecting to have stickers until the end of next week so it might be good idea to make other arrangements or like said call up Nissan or if you're okay with longer
wait. That's okay, too. Thank you. 

 

they said they could not do the inspection because...   they ran out of inspection stickers.  

 

Really?


Who the hell was in charge of this?  They told me that I could call on of their other locations and make an appointment. Shouldn't I have priority because of the company's F-up?  Shouldn't the company be making the arrangements for the inspection?  Can't you transfer people between locations?  Since you are part of the same company can't you do my inspection at the original place and have your other service place sign off on it?   They have several dealerships in that area, several in a row.  They could have arranged this.

I did not listen to the voice mail, I just read the transcription.  I had to correct some of the text in that message, the person must have spoken poorly.



[#] Tue Dec 01 2015 15:54:45 EST from Ladyhawke

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Fri Oct 23 2015 02:47:39 PM EDT from zooer
---

Thank you for calling. Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed.
For quality assurance, this call may be monitored or recorded. To continue in English, press 1. Para continuar en Espanol, oprima el numero 2. Please stay on the line; your call is important to us and we will be with you as quickly as possible. For faster service you can also use our automated customer service system on the web at w... w... w... dot... com. Or if you would prefer to leave a message, please wait for the tone.

---

Thank youj, Zoo - this made me laugh hard enough to drop my phone



[#] Fri May 13 2016 16:27:28 EDT from zooer

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I remember when they were just called "restrooms" and people used them without having to loudly announce to the world what sex they were or wanted to be.



[#] Mon May 23 2016 14:59:16 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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I self-identify as an Italian grandmother but I still use the restroom appropriate for a 44 year old man.

[#] Mon May 23 2016 15:04:06 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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My rant for today. VOICEMAIL.

Seriously, voicemail needs to die. It needs to go away. It needs to be eliminated. Everywhere. There is NEVER a legitimate reason to use voicemail anymore.

It only gets used by people who don't know how to communicate.

One good example: both of my parents. Especially my Dad. When I send him a text message, he answers it with a phone call. Seriously, Dad, if I wanted to chat I would have picked up the phone! And if you didn't answer it I would have put down the phone! And when he calls, if I don't answer he leaves a voice mail containing all of the following details of what he called for, using the following phrase: "Call me back when you get a chance."

At least a voice mail with a MESSAGE in it gives you the opportunity to prepare any requested information or whatever before you call back.

No voicemail. Ever. Shut it down. Make it go away.

[#] Mon May 23 2016 15:32:23 EDT from zooer

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My sister will have the complete conversation with your voice mailbox that she wanted to have with you.  She wasn't going to let you talk anyway so it is pretty much the same thing as actually talking to her.

or... she will say, "oh, I got your voice mail... well okay I will call later."



[#] Tue Jul 19 2016 08:49:36 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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Actually it seems that some large organizations (Coca Cola is the big example here) are actually doing away with voicemail entirely. Good for them.

[#] Tue Jul 19 2016 13:28:00 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold

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2016-07-19 08:49 from IGnatius T Foobar
Actually it seems that some large organizations (Coca Cola is the big

example here) are actually doing away with voicemail entirely. Good
for them.


Probably just sends it to you in email. :)

[#] Tue Jul 19 2016 23:53:38 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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Naah, all modern systems have that already. They just play a Jane recording telling you to send the person an email instead.

[#] Wed Jul 20 2016 07:50:40 EDT from zooer

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Oh good, I like having a problem with a website, calling a number and being told my problem can be fixed by visiting the website.



[#] Wed Jul 20 2016 08:57:04 EDT from fleeb

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Perfect!

All 80 year old folks who haven't learned to work a computer are further disenfranchised!

But, you know how it is. 80/20...

[#] Sun Jul 24 2016 21:06:30 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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80% of the people who visit the site are 20 years old, and 20% of the people who visit the site are 80 years old?

That sounds like they're leaving out an awful lot of potential users.

[#] Fri Jul 29 2016 09:38:46 EDT from fleeb

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But it doesn't matter, because you onlyu care about the 80% of your customers who can use the website.

[#] Thu Aug 25 2016 18:30:59 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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And if they stop being customers because they can't use the website ... then afterwards, 100% of customers can use the web site! It's THAT easy!

[#] Fri Aug 26 2016 10:59:01 EDT from zooer

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More websites need to find out a way to attract dead users.



[#] Fri Aug 26 2016 15:17:25 EDT from fleeb

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Hmmm... what attracts dead people...

Oh, I know! Graveyards!

Add graveyards to your websites!

[#] Mon Aug 29 2016 11:36:46 EDT from fleeb

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Or maybe Citadel has a zForget user option I could use.

[#] Mon Aug 29 2016 12:26:48 EDT from zooer

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Sorry, I couldn't resist the standard joke.  



[#] Mon Aug 29 2016 15:41:06 EDT from fleeb

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And I suppose I'm ranting appropriately. Heh.

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