I just realized something.

Tomorrow, Melvin needs to go to an oral surgeon to have a cracked tooth removed.
He has to rely upon me to pay for this.

This makes me the tooth fairy.

It makes you *a* tooth fairy. The established lore around here is that there are numerous tooth fairies, which explains the different kinds of notes that the IGlette receives (and varying degrees of compensation for tooth recycling).
When she lost a tooth while on vacation at Disney World, I explained to her (and made sure the resort agreed with me) that Tinkerbell is the acting tooth fairy at all Disney properties. Tink was kind enough to leave a big bunch of balloons at our door that night.

Oral surgery is really interesting. They don't use scalpels or any other instruments; they just talk you through the procedure.

They expect you to listen carefully, too, because they'll grade your performance as you execute the dental surgery on yourself.

owies.. Just lots of owies..

and um fleeb - I'm almost afraid to find out what sort of numbing agent you use.

Melvin has often requested I use a blunt object as a numbing agent (which might have the happy effect of not requiring the surgeon). I have, so far, not acquiesed.

Ouch.

The next number is 'X'.

Within the realm of possibilities is ....

345.78

Wheeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://tinyurl.com/lpugahj

Oh great. Now they'll be telling me that my paypal account can get 10 million dollars from my uncle.

The funny part about that is that a large portion of the "Nigerian economy" *is* scam revenue.

I'm looking over old stuff I wrote on G+, and I'm marvelling that I actually came up with the sentence:

"Of course, I don't have plant overlords beaming disparaging messages into my brain for my wantonly frivolous ability to scurry about on a pair of meat-things I extruded."

I'm sure nobody will find this gem in my lifetime. But I like it.

Why is my brain Rick-Rolling me?

It will let me down, though.