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[#] Fri Oct 18 2013 07:30:01 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

Subject: Old POS plow truck - $2500 (fairmont)

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This listing was on Craigslist and entered the awesomeness hall of fame before some whiny little pussy got offended by it and flagged it for removal.


 Old POS plow truck - $2500 (fairmont)


1992 Chevy 3/4 ton
97,000 miles
350-EFI
4WD
Automatic TurboHydromatic 400- slips
Red and Black with factory flairs
Fisher Plow power lift and turn


$2500 cash or trade


Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Chevy Truck. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has almost new oversized rims and tires, wind noise, and character.
It's a Truck. It rides like a Truck. It drives like a Truck. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures



If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR TRUCK.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate? 
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?

Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?



If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR PLOW TRUCK.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points. 
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me. 
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. this truck is 21 years old, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle that is 21 years old, NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will. 
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 5.7L bullet-proof V8 starts and runs like the proverbial champ. 
- 4WD operate perfectly 
-Tires are big ass tires for the truck with no lift and 3/4 tread and don't match what do you expect on an old plow truck. 
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Rob Zombie sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there


QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Truck for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues and trans slips. 
And did I say it comes with a spare trans. 
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan. 

-Will you sell me the [engine / plow / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Truck. Love the Truck. Give the Truck a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road. 
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.


-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it to plow snow and do the heavy work, none of that bullshit K&N filters here just a new $5 fram every year.
chevy built it right so its stock except tires and rims they sucked that year. I bought a new plow truck. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $2500. 
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask

  • Location: fairmont
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 4132248567

 

Posted: 2013-10-15, 11:07PM CDT

 



[#] Sun Oct 20 2013 23:13:03 EDT from the8088er @ Uncensored

Subject: Re: Old POS plow truck - $2500 (fairmont)

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Heh. its possibly flagged for removal because its a copy of this post:
http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html%3C/div%3E

For whatever reason that link works with the %3C... on the end but shows flagged for removal if it is absent. The Jeep ad may be a copy of yet another previous post. Dunno.

When I saw the one I linked above a few days ago I flagged it "best-of".

[#] Sun Oct 20 2013 23:18:28 EDT from the8088er @ Uncensored

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After digging online this is allegedly a followup by the Jeep ad poster:


st of all: you people are all insane. In a really cool way.
The obnoxious ad for a beloved XJ took off like a deadbeat dad and ran amuck via internet like bad porn. I had NO idea things would get out of hand like that.

[#] Sun Oct 20 2013 23:18:28 EDT from the8088er @ Uncensored

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d: I have no idea why CraigsList pulled the ad. It may have been the right-wing hate speech, it may have been the profanity, it may have been anti-redneck discrimination.
It may have been the traffic. You folks posted that ad on forums, newspapers, facebook, porn chat rooms, AA support groups, sex offender registries ... insanity.
It may have even been the fact the super-adorable and scary-smart Dana Loesch retweeted a link to the ad Friday night - and killed CL servers.
Ms. Loesch has 157,000 followers on Twitter. Two minutes after she tweeted the ad it was pulled.
I would have been more pissed, but I was three Guinness in on a weekend bender and just didn't give two shits.

[#] Sun Oct 20 2013 23:18:28 EDT from the8088er @ Uncensored

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day morning when the above-pictured hoodlums arrived to pick up the Jeep my hangover was subsiding, my asshole friends were drinking again, and my Jeep was off to a new loving supportive home.

[#] Sun Oct 20 2013 23:20:44 EDT from the8088er @ Uncensored

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Dammit. Lets try that again...

The Cheap Jeep Sold! And I am conflicted ...

First of all: you people are all insane. In a really cool way.
The obnoxious ad for a beloved XJ took off like a deadbeat dad and ran amuck via internet like bad porn. I had NO idea things would get out of hand like that.

Second: I appreciate the hell out of all the threats of violence, poorly-written critiques, carnal propositions, questioning of my mechanical expertise, and humbling praise. The response to my rambling nonsense has been terrifyingly entertatining.

Third: I have no idea why CraigsList pulled the ad. It may have been the right-wing hate speech, it may have been the profanity, it may have been anti-redneck discrimination.
It may have been the traffic. You folks posted that ad on forums, newspapers, facebook, porn chat rooms, AA support groups, sex offender registries ... insanity.
It may have
even been the fact the super-adorable and scary-smart Dana Loesch retweeted a link to the ad Friday night - and killed CL servers.
Ms. Loesch has 157,000 followers on Twitter. Two minutes after she tweeted the ad it was pulled.
I would have been more pissed, but I was three Guinness in on a weekend bender and just didn't give two shits.

By Saturday morning when the above-pictured hoodlums arrived to pick up the Jeep my hangover was subsiding, my asshole friends were drinking again, and my Jeep was off to a new loving supportive home.

So yeah; the folks who adopted The Cheap Jeep fit the bill. Complete and total gearheads incapable of douche behavior. Jeep aficionados. Rock crawlers. Off-roaders. Welders. Fabricators. Rednecks. Good kids. I hated to see it go, but they'll give the
little beast the attention it deserves.

In closing: Thanks, Weirdoes. That was fun.

Also, one last note:
Assbag
in Edmond, OK who I hung up on. Twice: Yes, I was serious when I told you couldn't have my Jeep. And no, we didn't get cut off. I hung up. Twice. And yes; that was the 'F' word I yelled at you just before promising to do all those terrible things to
your family. I have your number. Edmond is a small town. I get bored a lot. I have no conscience ...

Mahalo.

[#] Fri Oct 25 2013 11:02:55 EDT from Ladyhawke @ Uncensored

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Welcome back 8088er  :-)



[#] Mon Oct 28 2013 02:56:35 EDT from the8088er @ Uncensored

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Thanks :-D



[#] Thu Oct 31 2013 13:13:39 EDT from zooer @ Uncensored

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Meet The Guy Who Drove Across The U.S. In A Record 28 Hours 50 Minutes
http://jalopnik.com/meet-the-guy-who-drove-across-the-u-s-in-a-record-28-h-1454092837

Of course he documented that he was breaking laws.

[#] Fri Nov 01 2013 10:01:08 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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Forget the speeding, I just want all the cool gadgetry he had on board!

[#] Fri Nov 01 2013 11:55:27 EDT from zooer @ Uncensored

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Three GPS, plus each person's phone GPS is important. I was surprised the smell 66 gallons of fuel didn't make
them pass out or give them headaches. I figure at $3.60 a gallon for fuel, and 64 gallons that would be a $230
fill up. I wonder if that could be done all at once or if there is some kind of limit on fuel purchase.

I wish they provided a KML file or at least a google map of the trip.

[#] Fri Nov 01 2013 12:10:24 EDT from zooer @ Uncensored

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I re-read the story, they could use two pumps to fill that tanks, saving time and splitting the bill to two
credit cards. I still would think there would be a credit limit.

[#] Sun Nov 03 2013 23:00:05 EST from ax25 @ Uncensored

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Somebody should do a re-do and do "in flight" re-fueling from another tanker truck while rolling down the highway at speed.



[#] Mon Nov 04 2013 13:42:24 EST from zooer @ Uncensored

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Either that or do it in a tanker truck.

[#] Mon Nov 11 2013 02:13:54 EST from the8088er @ Uncensored

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I have filled up a huge gasoline truck and the pump stopped running at $105. Had to run my card a second time to finish.

[#] Mon Nov 11 2013 17:47:12 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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What I don't understand is why the cabin had a fuel smell in it.  Properly connected fuel tanks should not ventilate into the cabin no matter how big they are or where they're located.



[#] Thu Nov 14 2013 12:15:20 EST from Freakdog @ Dog Pound BBS II

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Damn! That must have taken some doing.



[#] Thu Nov 14 2013 12:38:27 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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It's pretty easy, you just throw the automatic transmission into "Sideways"



[#] Sat Nov 16 2013 00:45:15 EST from ax25 @ Uncensored

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Mon Nov 11 2013 05:47:12 PM EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

What I don't understand is why the cabin had a fuel smell in it.  Properly connected fuel tanks should not ventilate into the cabin no matter how big they are or where they're located.



Propane fridge in use at the cabin?  Might want to check the pilot light.  I am surprised you have Internet, but not enough electricity to run the fridge.  If it stinks like rotten eggs (my dad sold natural gas for years)... you might want to get that figured out sooner rather than later.  It is not explosive at most mixtures, but when it builds up to the right ratio, it is not a good situation.



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