Lucky for you, the human body comes with a magnetic card reader and a place to stick the new chip cards.
Ah... the shoulder. Everyone knows you put chip cards on your shoulder.
Lol. The first bing result for Xydexx is his Encyclopedia Dramatica entry.
Hm. For me, it's his Twitter.
No, wait, I didn't use Bing.
Yowza. Here's the cached version
It's ... eerily familiar. And a shame, too, because he was genuinely funny back in the day.