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[#] Fri Oct 21 2016 13:17:49 EDT from the_mgt

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Hahaha! Please, somebody patch it together!



[#] Mon Nov 14 2016 15:33:26 EST from Shazam

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Today I relearned that I can log in to Uncensored whenever I don't feel like focusing on my work at work. 



[#] Tue Nov 15 2016 14:56:20 EST from Shazam

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Today I learned that planning a vacation is much more stress and work than any vacation is worth.



[#] Tue Nov 15 2016 20:35:06 EST from LoanShark

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That is correct; mostly-unplanned vacations are better.

[#] Wed Nov 16 2016 12:51:33 EST from Shazam

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It seems to me that if I could take a vacation from everything else in my life and do almost nothing but work at my office, it would reduce the piles of work needing to get done, which would translate into an actual reduction in life stress. So to relieve stress, I need a work-vacation.  

 

How can I get someone to cover me to parent, read to Yaakov, do homework with him and with Adina, chat on the phone with Shlomo, make dinner, get the kids to clean up dinner, get Yaakov in the shower, then to brush his teeth and watch Jonny Test with him (quality time with the kids is important, right?) and pack up snacks? Also if I can get someone else to exercise for me and record my life in my diary, that's be great. Maybe I should get someone else to log into Uncensored for me, so I could focus on work better?



[#] Wed Nov 16 2016 15:43:35 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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No, you should get someone else to work for you, so you can log into Uncensored better (and/or more). Priorities please. :)

[#] Thu Nov 17 2016 13:11:30 EST from Shazam

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Today I learned that gardening/planting season is so over. You can't buy any plants by Walmart anymore, unless it's an indoor kind of plant, and it comes with sparkly decorations on it.  

 

...If I buy one and plant it outdoors, can I get an actual living tree out of the deal? They are really cheap. If I went to buy a tree from a nursery, it would cost tons, no doubt.  These trees being sold now remind me of feeder goldfish. Really cheap, and probably not expected to live long.  But sometimes those fish can really surprise you with a long life span.  Also, my landscaping is missing a tree. 



[#] Thu Nov 17 2016 14:15:26 EST from LoanShark

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into an actual reduction in life stress. So to relieve stress, I need
a work-vacation.  

No no no. A vacation-vacation. Which is a time-honored tradition whereby you fuck* off to a tropical island and leave somebody ELSE to do YOUR work.

*sorry. Had to do that.

[#] Thu Nov 17 2016 14:18:01 EST from LoanShark

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that's be great. Maybe I should get someone else to log into
Uncensored for me, so I could focus on work better?

I'm confused. Thought you already got someone to do that. The fake-shazam.

[#] Thu Nov 17 2016 14:22:20 EST from Shazam

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Fake Shazam?? What? Is there someone out there pretending to be me?

 

I guess I can't blame them. Being me is awesome. Does Fake Shazam at least disappear for months on end without any explanation, and pop in sporadically and post nonsense all over the place? Because if that is the case, I really could allow someone else to do my work for me. 



[#] Thu Nov 17 2016 16:05:55 EST from LoanShark

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Yes. Hard to tell the difference. Wait, how do we know you're the real one?

[#] Wed Nov 23 2016 15:35:24 EST from Shazam

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I don't know, Loanshark. If I ever figure out which one I am, I might be able to tell you how to tell us apart. 

 

Today I learned how to say "sister-in-law" in sign language. I'm trying to slowly pick up some sign language because my sister-in-law is going deaf. She and my brother and their little girl are all learning it, but they live in Binghampton and I don't hardly get to ever see them. So I don't have any easy way to practice, but I am trying to learn it anyway, from youtube and a book and an app. 



[#] Thu Nov 24 2016 14:17:22 EST from the_mgt

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What about Skype/Facetime or any other videochat?



[#] Mon Nov 28 2016 16:46:55 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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TIL that there is an actual phone number dedicated to the singular purpose of providing assistance to people who have accidentally swallowed batteries.

(It's 202-625-3333 in case you want to put it in your speed dial. This is for the US ... I don't know about other countries.)

[#] Mon Nov 28 2016 17:16:45 EST from wizard of aahz

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Why did you learn that?

[#] Tue Nov 29 2016 12:29:59 EST from fleeb

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Because... maybe... he purposefully swallowed some batteries, and someone thought it was done by accident, and wanted to know?

[#] Tue Nov 29 2016 13:26:54 EST from zooer

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Some batteries are magnetic, if they make it to your intestines, stick together with an intestinal wall between them your are going to have a bad time.



[#] Tue Nov 29 2016 17:39:24 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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I have some batteries ... and wondered what would happen if I ate them. Instead of eating them to find out I looked it up on the Internet.

Turns out it happens quite a bit (thousands of incidents per year) and the best possible course of action is to let it pass through as long as it's not lodged or likely to get lodged.

This post is brought to you by Starbucks, proudly serving you coffee that tastes like battery acid.

[#] Thu Dec 01 2016 15:14:16 EST from Shazam

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Wow, I always assumed the best course of action was running to the hospital and having them cut you open to remove it fast before the battery acid ate you from the inside out. For real. 

 

Today (actually it started yesterday, then it technically became today) I learned that the lookout place off the palisades parkway north is a great place to pull over and sleep if you can't safely drive anymore. 



[#] Thu Dec 01 2016 23:08:36 EST from wizard of aahz

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I've taken a nap there. But more likely at one of the gas stations. Either the one right off the bridge or the one further north with expensiver gas. Warm up car.. Turn off car. Go to sleep. WHen the car gets cold, I wake up and am refreshed. Safer at the stations than in the lookout.

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