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[#] Mon Feb 22 2021 13:57:30 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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I partied well into my 20's and banged a string of dozens of girls from 8th grade until I met my wife at a Kegger house party that I was throwing. I got it all out of my system, and experienced everything I wanted to, to the point I was sick of it, and saw the righting on the wall of the same circle, the same clique, doing the same things, with the same people well into our late 30s, just like my older siblings - and I didn't want that future for myself. It is the framework of a Bruce Springsteen song. 

When I got married, I waited 7 years, despite my wife wanting kids immediately - before I agreed. There were more important things than popping out babies. My Father-in-Law didn't like this decision - he couldn't wait to be a Grandpa. I didn't care. 

Then I had one, and decided that was enough. 

Lots of people have been disappointed with lots of my decisions through my life. The key is, I didn't make those decisions to make THEM happy, I make myself happy first, and that tends to ensure those around me are happier, too. :) 

I selflessly selfish. 





[#] Mon Feb 22 2021 18:08:46 EST from Nurb432

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That is something you dont hear much anymore.

And ya, i think we have all had 'that friend' who floats in and out of our lives.  After a couple of cycles, you become 'eh, whatever'. 

Mon Feb 22 2021 13:46:45 EST from ParanoidDelusions

Warez



 



[#] Mon Feb 22 2021 23:48:11 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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Depends on what circles you run around in. If you're part of the Commodore retro communities, it comes up fairly frequently, still. :) 

Of course, the first time I said "hella" during a business meeting in Ohio, you would have thought a pink elephant had just done a waltz across the boardroom table with an alien from Area 51.

I'm a Northern Californian IT professional. Intel had HELLA business meetings. :) 

All my friends are like this. I'm not a bestie kinda guy... but, all my besties, I always pick up right where I left off with them as they wander in and out. I'm always here. When nobody is around, I spend time online. I'm a "life of the party" kinda guy...  most times. But I'm actually pretty introverted, and I can go long periods in isolation and not feel lonely or bored. 

I guess I'm just always "eh, whatever," about almost everyone. My nephew is probably my best friend - but he does things in Europe that keep him very mobile and with frequent periods of "inaccessibility" and changing methods of contacting him. I miss interacting with him frequently... but he is like me - he goes and does his own thing and when we get a chance to get back together, it is like no time has passed - and usually a shitshow on the first day. 

When I tell stories about what he and I get up to, I think people think I'm making them up to brag. They *are* fun stories to tell, though. 



Mon Feb 22 2021 18:08:46 EST from Nurb432

That is something you dont hear much anymore.

And ya, i think we have all had 'that friend' who floats in and out of our lives.  After a couple of cycles, you become 'eh, whatever'. 

Mon Feb 22 2021 13:46:45 EST from ParanoidDelusions

Warez



 



 



[#] Tue Feb 23 2021 12:11:45 EST from darknetuser

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I keep hearing of people who describe themselves as introverted, but happen to have a whole lot of a social life and bang lots of girls and do lots of parties.

Either they are not as introverted as they claim, or I am doing introverting wrong.

[#] Tue Feb 23 2021 16:08:04 EST from Nurb432

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Many of my friends were like that.  After i got into my sophomore year of college it was "dammit, i need to straighten up NOW' ( i think i mentioned that before. after a total blur of freshman year i woke up ) But most of my friends did not, even in their and 40s were still partying way their lives. Some didnt make it to their 40s. ( we were pretty hard core )

I had moved on, left them to their eternal childhood summer of self destruction. I had a career to build a wife to feed, etc.

Mon Feb 22 2021 13:57:30 EST from ParanoidDelusions

I partied well into my 20's and banged a string of dozens of girls from 8th grade until I met my wife at a Kegger house party that I was throwing. I got it all out of my system, and experienced everything I wanted to, to the point I was sick of it, and saw the righting on the wall of the same circle, the same clique, doing the same things, with the same people well into our late 30s, just like my older siblings - and I didn't want that future for myself. It is the framework of a Bruce Springsteen song. 


 



[#] Tue Feb 23 2021 17:19:15 EST from Nurb432

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We had lots of parties. but we were a really small group.

 

No comment on the banging part, but being a small close nit group since high school, its odd when everyone is an ex of someone else. ( or a relative, which is sometimes worse )

Tue Feb 23 2021 12:11:45 EST from darknetuser
I keep hearing of people who describe themselves as introverted, but happen to have a whole lot of a social life and bang lots of girls and do lots of parties.

Either they are not as introverted as they claim, or I am doing introverting wrong.

 



[#] Tue Feb 23 2021 22:05:38 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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If I am in a comfortable group, I'm very outgoing - but, it wears me down. Extroverts feed off social activity. There is this myth that introverts *shun* social activity. It just doesn't *recharge* them, it depletes them, and they need isolated downtime. 

It isn't the same as being socially awkward or painfully shy - but those can absolutely exist in addition to being introverted. 

In an unusual group, - I am very risk adverse.

Also... I have *always* "self-medicated" to overcome my insecurity, shyness, and social anxiety. 

Which leads to the other things, like parties and banging - creating a positive feedback loop. 






[#] Tue Feb 23 2021 22:18:14 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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Another thing... 

Alcohol - and drugs - do have the affect of allowing you to learn what "works" and doesn't work interacting in social situations, with less risk.

"You were being an idiot..."

"I know, I was way too drunk. Sorry..." 

"Ok. Well, that was weird. Don't do THAT again..." 

"I know, I know... I'm not sure what I was thinking. I need to drink less.." 


When you're sober and you act like an idiot - there isn't any excuse other people can make for your weird-ass behavior. 

This is why even socially well-adjusted people tend to partake in social situations. 

In this manner - the socially awkward introvert can learn what behaviors tend to illicit positive peer interactions and which ones cause interactions that reinforce social anxiety. At least, that is how it worked for me. 



[#] Wed Feb 24 2021 07:44:05 EST from Nurb432

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Unless your little group of friends are just as weird...  :)

( that is my case as we were all a bit "off" and "outcasts", but somehow still managed to find each other )

Tue Feb 23 2021 22:18:14 EST from ParanoidDelusions


When you're sober and you act like an idiot - there isn't any excuse other people can make for your weird-ass behavior. 

 



[#] Wed Feb 24 2021 09:54:33 EST from darknetuser

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2021-02-23 22:05 from ParanoidDelusions
If I am in a comfortable group, I'm very outgoing - but, it wears me
down. Extroverts feed off social activity. There is this myth that
introverts *shun* social activity. It just doesn't *recharge* them,
it depletes them, and they need isolated downtime. 

It isn't the same as being socially awkward or painfully shy - but
those can absolutely exist in addition to being introverted. 

In an unusual group, - I am very risk adverse.

Also... I have *always* "self-medicated" to overcome my insecurity,
shyness, and social anxiety. 

Which leads to the other things, like parties and banging - creating
a positive feedback loop. 


Maybe it is just that I hate people, then.

[#] Wed Feb 24 2021 10:12:54 EST from darknetuser

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2021-02-23 22:05 from ParanoidDelusions
If I am in a comfortable group, I'm very outgoing - but, it wears me

down. Extroverts feed off social activity. There is this myth that

introverts *shun* social activity. It just doesn't *recharge* them,

it depletes them, and they need isolated downtime. 

It isn't the same as being socially awkward or painfully shy - but

those can absolutely exist in addition to being introverted. 

In an unusual group, - I am very risk adverse.

Also... I have *always* "self-medicated" to overcome my insecurity,

shyness, and social anxiety. 

Which leads to the other things, like parties and banging - creating

a positive feedback loop. 


Dunno, I am not shy by any means and certainly I don't fit people's definition of socially awkward. When I did end-customer-service, customers always wanted to talk to me instead of other people.

But I'd certainly not spend my time with people unless there is a specific goal for it. I don't get partying for the sake of partying. Attending a gathering with other people in order to accomplish an specific goal works for me. Attending a gathering with a generic purpose such as "having fun" is boring and I would rather not do it. I prefer "having fun achieving X".

And also I have grown to hate most people I deal with which doesn't help with things.

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