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[#] Tue Feb 13 2018 14:44:26 EST from fleeb

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I was wondering about him as well.

I take it, then, he moved out of the renovated barn in which he lived when I last saw him? That's rather a shame, as it seemed like a nice, cozy place.
And... Bonnie? No longer? If so, also a shame.

[#] Tue Feb 13 2018 15:07:07 EST from pandora

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Bonnie! That was her name! (David's ex, not the bitch)

[#] Tue Feb 13 2018 15:37:50 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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I did tell wabewalker that she should return to Uncensored because none of her ex-husbands are here.  She found the thought entertaining but she hasn't shown up yet.



[#] Wed Feb 14 2018 17:36:14 EST from wizard of aahz

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Stuff happens.. A public forum isn't the best place to run through personal things.

[#] Wed Feb 14 2018 20:39:51 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Aside from the present conversation, the point is thatf theect le are aentbsent in ir tooy thenjohe for *withot* haviving to get to get in into pto personal things.

[#] Thu Feb 15 2018 10:40:59 EST from pandora

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Ig, did you just have a stroke?

[#] Fri Feb 16 2018 13:48:59 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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After reading that message I'm inclined to say yes, but there's got to be a technical explanation ... I have no idea what it is though.

So I think what I was trying to say was ... aside from the present conversation, the point is that the absence of those people makes it a forum safe to enjoy *without* getting into the personal things.

[#] Tue Feb 20 2018 15:40:06 EST from pandora

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I was trying to decipher it, but it wasn't working, but yes. Though maybe the THOD thing was a little TMI, but I feel really bad about it. My grelf drama actually happened here on UCG, and I'm still rather hurt that I lost who was once a very good friend, over something that we did together.

[#] Tue Feb 20 2018 16:37:59 EST from LoanShark

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That's just it. Sex can kill friendship. Maybe something I am going to have to grapple with soon, because my own personal life's been going slightly loopy.

[#] Tue Feb 20 2018 16:53:36 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Think of it this way. Uncensored will be 30 years old next month. Anyone who has been here for more than 20 of those years knows that we were young and stupid, and we all had a lot of growing up left to do. Best thing we can do is look back and laugh at what morons we were. A few months ago we did exactly that when Jon Oringer dropped by for a visit. We all exchanged warm greetings, wished each other well, and laughed at the crap that went down when we were younger.

Regret has its purpose but it's not good to dwell on it for too long. Smile, you're among friends.

[#] Wed Feb 21 2018 11:51:51 EST from LoanShark

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Speaking of young and stupid...

I have an old climbing buddy, D, who I hadn't seen in a few years until Sunday night. (She no longer climbs as she's gotta be almost 50, has a bad back, and a ~10 year old daughter. I've known D since before the daughter was born...)


We both happened to be up north in the same ski town, me staying in my share-house rental and she staying in the ski club where she and her daughter are members. Our timing rarely syncs up, so this was a good opportunity to go pay her a visit at her ski club lodge.

We sat upstairs in the common room lounge on the couch, talking and drinking a bit of wine. This is a nice big open shared space, and there are a lot of kids running around beceause it's President's Week and this is a very kid-friendly ski club.

We caught a 15-year-old girl staring at ME, rather blankly, for a good solid 30 seconds. This was so conspicuous and so obvious that I had to say, "Ok. What's with the glare?"

She visibly caught herself, recovered, and said "I'm just exhausted." Embarrassed.


But she lingered a bit in the area, while I was trying to talk to D. D eventually had to shoo her and her own daughter away to another couch a bit farther away so they wouldn't continue to be a distraction, explaining to me afterward, "she has a bit of Asperger's."

I found this all a bit indescribably disturbing and frankly a little horrifying...


Thank god D had some awareness. Adulting is not an easy thing.

[#] Wed Feb 21 2018 13:20:57 EST from pandora

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I should know that by now(that sex kills friendship) but after 25 years, I still hold out hope that it won't. :/

[#] Wed Feb 21 2018 13:22:27 EST from fleeb

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Hmm... sometimes, when someone is staring at you, they aren't seeing you at all. They're seeing whatever is playing out in their own mind.

Not that you can tell, necessarily.

At 15, I expect she lacked the social skills to recognize her actions as creepy. After all, she wasn't staring at you, she only pointed her eyes in your direction while she stared inside her own mind.

[#] Wed Feb 21 2018 13:23:33 EST from fleeb

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Hmm... I haven't had much opportunity to allow sex to kill a friendship.
If I weren't in a relationship, I might see if I could give that a try.

[#] Wed Feb 21 2018 15:18:58 EST from wizard of aahz

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Are there friendships you want to kill?? There are other ways to do it besides with sex.

[#] Wed Feb 21 2018 15:25:03 EST from LoanShark

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Yeah, she did sort of seem to be staring right past me, at the wall. *shrug*. The creepy part is the way she kind of inserted herself into our conversation. It's not really appropriate to continue talking to me, at my age...

[#] Thu Feb 22 2018 09:24:35 EST from fleeb

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No, I don't really have any friendships I wish to kill. But I could establish a friendship with the purpose of killing it with sex.

[#] Thu Feb 22 2018 09:25:39 EST from fleeb

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LS: Perhaps she's that lonely?

[#] Thu Feb 22 2018 10:16:27 EST from LoanShark

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Nah, she was just tired and spaced out and a little bit socially awkward. Lots of kids bug the adults a little too much, but this time it worked out rather badly is all.

[#] Fri Feb 23 2018 09:19:26 EST from fleeb

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Ah... well, at least it's just that.