Several months ago, I think it might have been in November I was traveling. Before going into the hotel my CPAP machine sat in the cold car. When my CPAP machine didn't power up right away I thought it was a condensation issue.  I waited about an hour and my machine came back to life.  Same thing when I returned home but not as bad.  In March the same thing, took a trip and my machine did not power up, but this time it didn't power back on for several hours, l sometime in the night.  I slept without the machine the first night (Friday into Sat). I called the sleep center on Monday. I thought they said I could buy a new machine for a discount.  My insurance wouldn't allow for a new machine at this time, and it was no longer under warranty.  I was on the phone with them, I didn't understand what they were explaining.  The guy who knows the most was in the background explaining to the person I was talking to.  I was missing some details somewhere. This discount was part of an upgrade buy-back program.  The company doesn't repair machines, just sells you a new machine at a discount.

When we had the new electrical panel installed at the house that power was turned off.  My CPAP machine never came back to life.  I had researched "CPAP machine not powering on" after the first problem, and most people said it was condensation.  I tried a search again and found out there was a recall on the machine for a power problem like I was having.  The sleep center didn't know about it, I didn't get a notice about it even though I registered the machine. The recall notice said the recall period was over.  

My sleep center offered me the discounted machine and they would see what the company/insurance would do.  They said the other brand of machine was much more expensive.  The discounted machine was the same make/model number but upgraded firmware. I went with that, -I-have-not-reached- I can not reach my deductible (thanks Obamacare!) so I would probably have to pay the full, but discounted price.

I received a call today, the sleep center said the company would replace the machine for free.  yip!  (THANKS DONALD TRUMP!)

I don't know if this belongs in rant or the Dark Third.

When my father was ill he needed oxygen, my CPAP supplies are handled by that same department.  At one time they were fantastic, outstanding service, always.  Our local hospitals have merged and with that a lot of changes. Some of the people in the sleep center are the same but they are under a different department.  They no longer want you to pick up the supplies from them, they want to mail you the supplies.  This was an option before but they are no longer mailed locally, they are mail from a different state.

Last month I received a letter telling me about a wonderful new reorder system that will be implement.  It involves an automated system calling you!  Everybody loves automated phone systems, and this one calls me!  I have no idea how they would know when I need supplies but apparently they do.  I think that would be great if a grocery store knew it was time and called me when I needed milk.  At the bottom of the letter they said "We know you'll love the ease of the new ordering program as much as we do...."  Just that pisses me off.  Somebody telling me I will like something.  

I did get the phone call, the automated voice on the other end said that "If this is Zooer press 1, if not press 2 and we will wait while you get him."  I just hung up.  I have to reorder supplies when it is convenient for an automated system?

Last Saturday I heard a voice in my dream that I have 40 days left to live. My dreams are always weird though, but it did get me to thinking about if I really did only have 40 days left to live, what would I do differently? So I thought about it and decided nothing. Each day of my "normal" life makes me happy so I'll just keep it up. And if I DO manage to keep living, then good. I'll have more enjoyment of more days. 

Still, I remember waking up being bummed out about it. 

Well, it's been more than 40 days, so ... what are the results?  Did you live?  If not, how did you die?

Hey, I'm happy to see my dreams ARE just a bunch of nonsense, just like I always suspected.  

Still, they can really leave me shaken up sometimes. Lately every morning I wake up with this strong desire to keep dreaming because whatever was going on in the dream felt super important, but I can never ever remember anything about the dream afterwards. I guess for the best. I should pay more attention to reality. I'm starting to think that my waking hours are actually real, and relevant, and actions I take while awake having long lasting consequences. With scary things like that to live with, who needs nightmares?

I'm still waking up every morning feeling desperate to remember what was in my dreams, but completely unable to do so. I bet I would find them interesting too. Oh well!

The most frustrating part is this sense that some part of my own brain is actively working hard at hiding it from me. 

I keep dreaming about Zeph lately. Weird, convoluted dreams, where things happen the way I had somehow hoped they would instead of the way they did, and where I'm still in  college, and I'm not sick yet...

Was Dirk wearing white socks?  If he was it would make sense.

Your sister is getting married, Mazal Tov!

I had a dream that my father's wife had kicked him out (she really never could) and he was living with friends of mine instead and for some reason his wife was living with us (or maybe we were living with her at my father's house) and I spent a lot of time in the dream trying to work up the courage to go ask her to bring my father back home so I could spend time with him again.  Finally I asked her and she went from smiling and being happy to being very gloomy and as soon as I turned around, a friend of hers was giving her advice to leave him. It was sad.

What's the destination? and when is it scheduled for?