so when I was 9, I started tying hair bands around my neck to kill myself. Then I took chemicals from my chemistry set, perfume, etc.
I was more playing with the idea than actually trying to kill myself.
When I was 18, I had pneumonia, and I got an asthma inhaler. Almost on a whim, I tried to see if I could take enough ventolin to kill myself.
When I was 20, I got knocked up out of wedlock, freaked out, and took 30+ benadryl. That time I actually wanted to die.
There were various attempts over the next 3 years, and then I got on Celexa, and guess what? I stopped being horribly miserable all the time. It's been a good 15 years since I actually tried to kill myself.
I had a few sort of "break downs" over the years, but with medication and therapy (off and on), I've managed to build a decent life for myself. I've married, I have three great kids. I have a real circle of friends.
Yes, I've been taking medicine for depression for close to twenty years now, and will probably still be taking it twenty years from now, but I'm alive. I'm functioning.
Any of you parents who wants to talk to me about how it feels from the kid's perspective, a lot of it is still fresh enough in my mind to discuss. drop me a mail, and I'll try to answer.
Grats, Ragnar, on aging. Children do that well. Both in terms of doing a good job making you feel old, and in terms of doing so with an excellent quality to it.
triLcat, I am glad you aren't toying with such things now... yikes on that kind of past.