No, I know people that don't have a cell phone.  

My neighbors have no cell phone and no internet. Also no real computer. They might have some form of smart tv by accident.

I had 4 different phones before T9 became a thing. One of the Motorolas from 1998 forced you to move the cursor manually to the right, so that you could write a new letter next to the old one. Even typewriters were more progressive 100 years before that phone. And the key lock came off by accident in your pocket. I never bought anything from Motorola after that. 

Today we went searching on Teh YouTubes for a funny commercial we had seen elsewhere.

Found it ... and Google's amazing algorithm played a pre-roll ad before it.  Yup ... the ad was the exact same commercial as the video itself.

I don't know whether to congratulate them on their targeting algorithm or not.

Sounds like a classical win-win scenario?

On the other hand, there is this here, which sounds like one of the worst lose-lose scenarios. I'd call it googlecaust, to stick with your 3rd reich metaphors:

http://www.dansdeals.com/archives/98444

Several DDF members are reporting that they have not been able to access their Google accounts over the past few days. ...It turns out the common denominator is that they had all bought Google Pixel phones and shipped them to a phone dealer in New Hampshire who paid them a profit on each phone. There is no sales tax in New Hampshire and the phones are then resold to others.

The problem is that many of them didn’t read the terms that they agreed to when buying the phone from the Google store.

I can't stop laughing, this is so hilarious and I can only say FUCK THEM RIGHT IN THEIR FUCKING FACES WITH A STAR DESTROYER.

This issue is exactly the right thing happening to the right kind of people. "Ooooh, me takes everything for free from ze Googles, I store everything with ze Googles and me do nots read any terms of services. I even outsmart ze Googles by buying ze phone and reselling with me main account. Look how smart I is!!! ... Wait what?! Oh noz!  Me datas!"

I'll light a candle in praise of Mendel today, if I can hold back the tears from laughing long enough.

Well... There goes uncensored....

Google launches robo-tool to flag hate speech online.
http://www.ft.com/content/8786cce8-f91e-11e6-bd4e-68d53499ed71

As soon as a bot scans this site you are done for.

I think all of your posts with death threats have already captured the attention of anyone important.

If there is one thing we as citizens don't get enough of it is advertising.