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[#] Wed Oct 19 2016 15:45:49 EDT from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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Is that huge or YUGE?

[#] Thu Oct 20 2016 06:57:59 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Thankfully, in this case, it was merely huge.

Had it involved the entire company, and not just our office, it would have been yuge.

[#] Thu Oct 20 2016 13:53:43 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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Believe me, I know company meetings.  We have the best company meetings.

In other news, today I had to deal with the fallout from a sales person selling something we don't have.  As anyone in IT knows, they do that all the time.  In this case, she actually took a service that we do sell, wrote a feature that it doesn't have into the comment field, and had it signed without a tech review.

That's like selling a car and marking as the body color "red, with wheel upgrades and a towing package" when those should be extra line items.



[#] Thu Oct 20 2016 14:59:14 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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"Legacy monitoring systems are like Rosie O'Donnell: ugly, a big nuisance, and the world would be a better place if they die soon."
-- me, today during a discussion with a project manager. I'm threatening to make this into a PowerPoint slide.

[#] Thu Oct 20 2016 15:50:29 EDT from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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"Working with her is like trying to nail jello to a tree"

How one of our staff described one of our clients. I'm still laughing.

[#] Fri Oct 21 2016 08:44:36 EDT from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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I have found the people who make it so that we cannot have nice things.


I have a place when we can send them. PM me.

[#] Fri Oct 21 2016 08:47:48 EDT from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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^where

[#] Fri Oct 21 2016 09:16:42 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Hmmm... a place when you can send them works, too. Far enough into the future, and they'll be roasted alive by our sun.

[#] Fri Oct 21 2016 09:48:41 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Massive e-mail invite sent at work for a 'First Annual Halloween Dip Off'.

Considering the widespread nature of this e-mail, I'd be a dick to point out that there is never such a thing as a 'First Annual' anything. You hope it will become annual when you do it next year, but doesn't become annual until then.

But... I would have lost points when I studied journalism had I written something like that... so...

Argh.

[#] Fri Oct 21 2016 11:47:17 EDT from zooer @ Uncensored

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Fri Oct 21 2016 09:48:41 AM EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

But... I would have lost points when I studied journalism had I written something like that... so... 

 

You would however receive a promotion if you had written something like that while employed in the field.



[#] Fri Oct 21 2016 12:33:53 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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That observation saddens me, deeply.

[#] Tue Oct 25 2016 12:58:54 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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"I want to be the first person to thank you for contributing to the heat-death of the universe with the rest of us. But you're probably the kind of lady who gets that from everyone."

If that turns into an HR incident, I want it to get weird as quickly as possible.

[#] Tue Oct 25 2016 14:59:44 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Every time at work, when I write something to show that I've thought something through, I feel a little weird.

I mean... I'm this odd fellow with weird ways who kinda acts a tad like an imaginative child weighing in on design decisions for a product the company hopes will generate a lot of revenue. I kinda feel like my company depends upon me, a silly 12-year old (who looks like he's 49), to help them do brain surgery.

At least I'm not taking Groucho Marx perspective and holding my company in disdain for hiring me.

[#] Thu Oct 27 2016 10:04:40 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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The truth is, we are all maintaining a thin veneer of adulthood. We all know we're just sort of winging it.

[#] Fri Oct 28 2016 07:04:00 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Sounds like something Ford would say.

[#] Mon Oct 31 2016 11:30:03 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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A couple of us went downstairs to the Halloween Dip-Off our office started, and I asked the hostess if any of the entries would kill you.

"It is Halloween, after all. It just wouldn't quite be right without a little death."

She said no, none of them would kill you. Later, though, she said there were some other folks who hadn't finished placing their entries, to which I noted, "Oh, so there's still time!" (for an entry that might kill you).

"You guys on the third floor sure are dark."

[#] Fri Nov 04 2016 12:01:47 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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Today a project manager gave me what may be the best offer for assistance that I've EVER received.

"I can certainly beat people with a stick for you! Please send a prioritized list and the floggings will commence."

[#] Fri Nov 04 2016 12:27:26 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Oh, man, that's a prize offer!

[#] Fri Nov 04 2016 14:12:28 EDT from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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That's the actual purpose of a project manager. To move people along who are not moving appropriately. Whether or not it is people working on the project, people hindering the project or people who have infomration that is required byt the project. Hoenstly. Project Management has been one of the most favorite roles that I've had over the years.

[#] Sat Nov 05 2016 13:30:54 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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No, what I want is actual, literal, beating people with a stick.  And not necessarily the people who are holding up my project, either -- I just want certain people to be beaten with a stick.  Or as grelf used to say, stabbed in the face with a Buick.

It really would make my projects move faster because I'd be so positively motivated.   :)



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