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[#] Mon Nov 04 2013 13:47:30 EST from vince-q

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If you give a man a fish, he eats today.
If you teach a man to fish, you lose a customer.

[#] Mon Nov 04 2013 14:08:57 EST from Lynda Falstaff

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Mon Nov 04 2013 13:47:30 EST from vince-q
If you give a man a fish, he eats today.
If you teach a man to fish, you lose a customer.

...and sooner or later, he'll deplete the oceans



[#] Mon Nov 04 2013 18:52:29 EST from fleeb

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But he'll have mercury poisoning!

[#] Wed Nov 06 2013 10:57:22 EST from zooer

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This isn't random or a musing.

[#] Thu Nov 07 2013 18:45:20 EST from fleeb

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I see, on Youtube, that Billy Graham has promoted some video all day.

"Watch Billy Graham's much-anticipated new message: The Cross", and all that.
"My Hope, AMERICA" reads another part of the video advertising this thing.
It features Lacey Sturm and Lecrae, whoever they are. I don't really keep up with Christian television enough to know.

I'm unlikely to ever watch it, but I imagine it probably went something like this...

In a very large mega church, a church made out like a stadium with all the seating facing a single lone podium, Billy Graham approaches that podium with his tall, lanky form. Creaking over to the podium, he reaches out to the microphone with his frail arm, and pulls it to his mouth with a loud scrunching sound unique to those flexible metal mic holders.

Parting his dry lips, he speaks.

"I've been watching America for over 90 years now.
I've seen it grow, changing from the beacon of democracy and hope, to become a cesspool of greed and avarice. I've watched it change from a tower of decent morals to a place that condones homosexuals whle promoting and poliferating pornography."

He then leans conspiratorily into the podium, and with the softest voice, starts, "My hope for America..."

A country hangs on the dramatic pause. A child shifts in his seat. No cell phone rings.

"My hope for America... IS THAT YOU ALL DIE!"

Reaching inside the podium, the 90 year old Billy Graham pulls a fully automatic machine gun out and mows down all the parishoners he can in God's name, before God Himself reaches down and gives him a heart attack.

[#] Thu Nov 07 2013 18:46:35 EST from fleeb

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I could be wrong, though.

[#] Fri Nov 08 2013 09:29:58 EST from zooer

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Nope, that was pretty accurate, except for the child shifting in his seat part.

[#] Fri Nov 08 2013 17:59:42 EST from fleeb

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Yeah, they probably keep the children in a holding cell, strapped to their chairs with leather straps, broken toothpicks used to keep their eyes open while attendants ensure they don't dry out by squirting water into them occasionally, as a video feed of Billy Graham killing all the adults is fed into the room.

[#] Mon Nov 11 2013 02:07:48 EST from the8088er

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Nov 4 2013 1:47pm from vince-q
If you give a man a fish, he eats today.
If you teach a man to fish, you lose a customer.

In a similar vein:

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night.
Light a man afire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

[#] Mon Nov 11 2013 17:12:49 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Identify the people who are being problematic and unleash a high powered flamethrower at them, and you make yourself happy for the rest of your life.

mmm ... crispy critters



[#] Mon Nov 11 2013 22:19:05 EST from zooer

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Work on those anger issues.

[#] Mon Nov 11 2013 22:29:41 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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No. I *like* my anger issues.

[#] Tue Nov 12 2013 12:48:10 EST from Ladyhawke

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Mon Nov 11 2013 10:29:41 PM EST from IGnatius T Foobar
No. I *like* my anger issues.

In Soviet Russia, Anger issues like you.  Too much.



[#] Thu Nov 14 2013 00:17:53 EST from ax25

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Life is little bits of random.



[#] Thu Nov 14 2013 14:58:06 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Everybody happy happy happy.

[#] Thu Nov 14 2013 15:02:37 EST from zooer

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"epotg" That is a little bit of random, and is life.

[#] Thu Nov 14 2013 16:37:21 EST from fleeb

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And with this remote, I can control just how happy you are!

[#] Sat Nov 16 2013 19:47:29 EST from Zaya

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Talk about nostaliga

[#] Sat Nov 16 2013 21:10:03 EST from fleeb

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Nostaliga was the lesser known sibling of Caligula, known more for the things he would do with his nostrils than debauchery.

[#] Wed Nov 20 2013 12:38:19 EST from Shazam

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In my youth I used to be much more introspective than I am today. In face, I hardly think at all anymore, my whole life has been on auto pilot for years. So I''m wondering, is it a natural part of getting older, or is it just that there are so many things outside me that require my focus and attention and if I left my life for a 3 day vacation would I go back to being the old me? Or am I suffering some mental illness? Or have I just changed, regardless of aging, just as time passed, maybe my personality just changed over time? People change. So.
I just kind of wonder where I went, I liked me. I kind of miss me.

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