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[#] Wed Aug 17 2022 16:16:09 EDT from Nurb432

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Waiting is overrated. 

Wed Aug 17 2022 09:13:31 AM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar
I was 23 and just married ... I guess there aren't a lot like me anymore.

 



[#] Sun Aug 28 2022 16:46:04 EDT from darknetuser

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2022-08-17 16:16 from Nurb432
Waiting is overrated. 

I have held the opinion that relationships are overrated for a while.


I am not gonna lie: I'd like to feel loved by somebody who does not bark or go "neigh" for a change, but when I scan the people around me and check how their respective relationships are going, I don't envy them. I think only a tiny minority in my age bracket gets what they want out of the relationship. It would be pretentious for me to think I am going to be an exception.

Besides, my need for a romantic relationships is decreasing over time because I am developing the skills for doing what I would want a woman for myself anyway.

[#] Sun Aug 28 2022 17:52:08 EDT from Nurb432

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The 'right one' is a good thing.

Most people just settle for something less to save time. its why you see so much unhappiness.



[#] Sun Aug 28 2022 19:15:14 EDT from darknetuser

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2022-08-28 17:52 from Nurb432
The 'right one' is a good thing.

Most people just settle for something less to save time. its why you

see so much unhappiness.


I certainly see many matches I would not bet for in the long run. I wonder how they can get started to begin with. Some matches are worse than if I paired with a girl who hated horses.

This is specially striking because my generation is clearly abusing dating platforms. The market for girls is huge to pick the boy they want. This is so true that casual relationships have become very devaluated.

See, if you are a girl in a dating platform, you may get 50 candidates per day. What happens then is the same that happens when Human Resources gets too many candidates for a vacancy: they start filtering candidates using bullshit criteria. Maybe they want an entry level tech for deploying Active Directory or whatever, but since half the candidates do it, they start asking for candidates who can write a Java Microservice or whatever... even if the job position has nothing at all to do with Java or Microservices.


I have no personal experience in dating platforms. My friends who do have confided me that girls have a tendency to place no effort at all in dates, because they can get so many that the each date is close to worthless. Supply and demmand et al.

So when the girl has such liberty to pick what she wants, WHY THE FUCK DO THEY PICK THE DUDE THAT ENDS UP MAKING HER FEEL MISERABLE.

Men are also bad at choosing, and I find lots of them falling prey to gold diggers, manipulators and she-dictators. I find it a bit more understandable, since a man's ability to select what he wants is way more limited. However, I think it is much better to be alone if you can't find what you want than setting for something you don't really like just because there is nothing better.

[#] Sat Sep 17 2022 13:23:20 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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So when the girl has such liberty to pick what she wants, WHY THE FUCK

DO THEY PICK THE DUDE THAT ENDS UP MAKING HER FEEL MISERABLE.

Do you want the truth? It isn't pretty.

Humans are genetically wired to optimize for reproductive success. For men, that means our instinct is to dominate and subjugate women. Like it or not, societies in which women are property are already optimized for reproductive success.

For women, it means their instinct is to select mates who are likely to protect their families, using lots of violence if necessary, to increase their likelihood of successful reproduction. In a modern society where killing other men is frowned upon, it manifests as men being jerks.

The only reason our current system works at all is because we have a very large population with large pools of potential mates for everyone.

[#] Wed Nov 09 2022 13:48:12 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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I was 13 and in 8th grade. 

In 1984. Maybe 83. 

I was late to the game among some of my peers. More than a few of them. 




Thu Aug 11 2022 18:56:22 EDT from darknetuser
2022-08-04 18:42 from Nurb432
Hell 14 year old kids have access to live sex..

14 is not the same as it was when we were 14. More like 20..


I have heard reports of 13 years old being the new age of having your first boink these days. They grow up so fast.

 



[#] Thu Nov 10 2022 13:51:12 EST from Greg Nesbitt

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I was 18 before I had my first serious girlfriend, and then it took me the better part of a year to round all the bases, so to speak. Definitely atypical even for the early 90s. But I didn't drink, didn't smoke, and was more obsessed with BBSs than girls. There were 4 girls around my age on the systems, but they were all dating guys in their 20s. When they were 15. One girl was sharing a boyfriend with her cheating mother. ::shudder::
I did put the moves on my high school Spanish teacher, 20 years my senior.
You won't be surprised to learn that I didn't get anywhere, but she still gave me A, so I guess it was all good in the long view.

[#] Thu Nov 10 2022 17:04:10 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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Hah! 

So, it is weird that geek culture... SCA, BBSes - that is always where I encountered girls my age dating men far too inappropriately older than they were - and everyone around was pretty cool with it. 

In the SCA, there was a 15 year old, she was dating a 30 year old. He was a "Lord" in the SCA, had a huge tent pavilion nearly as big as the King's - all his Knights and men were there, and so was the girl's *mother*. 

Someone explained that it was "period appropriate" to me. 

The girl was hot, too - and the guy was pretty much you would expect of a 30 year old men who had put so much of his life into pursuing the fantasy that he was living in the 1500s. I was about 17. I did not get it. 

 

Thu Nov 10 2022 13:51:12 EST from Greg Nesbitt
I was 18 before I had my first serious girlfriend, and then it took me the better part of a year to round all the bases, so to speak. Definitely atypical even for the early 90s. But I didn't drink, didn't smoke, and was more obsessed with BBSs than girls. There were 4 girls around my age on the systems, but they were all dating guys in their 20s. When they were 15. One girl was sharing a boyfriend with her cheating mother. ::shudder::
I did put the moves on my high school Spanish teacher, 20 years my senior.
You won't be surprised to learn that I didn't get anywhere, but she still gave me A, so I guess it was all good in the long view.

 



[#] Thu Nov 10 2022 17:22:42 EST from Nurb432

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I better not say much more about my days on IRC then.

 

Thu Nov 10 2022 01:51:12 PM EST from Greg Nesbitt
One girl was sharing a boyfriend with her cheating mother. ::shudder::

 



[#] Thu Nov 10 2022 18:45:18 EST from Greg Nesbitt

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I wrote a whole reply about IRC chicks and then decided I'd better just leave the past in the past.
Met my wife of 18 years there though, good old channel #dallas on EFNet, but it sure took a lot of Ms. Wrongs until I found Ms. Right. The stories she tells about the locals are just horrifying.

[#] Thu Nov 10 2022 19:00:05 EST from Nurb432

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21 years here

Thu Nov 10 2022 06:45:18 PM EST from Greg Nesbitt
I wrote a whole reply about IRC chicks and then decided I'd better just leave the past in the past.
Met my wife of 18 years there though, good old channel #dallas on EFNet, but it sure took a lot of Ms. Wrongs until I found Ms. Right. The stories she tells about the locals are just horrifying.

 



[#] Fri Nov 11 2022 09:22:49 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Yes, of course ... those of us who were BBSers are now middle age. My wife of 28 years and I played around in SCA as well, but somehow we managed to avoid most of the debauchery. Back then you couldn't get monkeypox from a cloven fruit, I guess.

[#] Fri Nov 11 2022 10:09:32 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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SCA was a fun idea - but there were too many people too *lost* in it - like a cult. A lot of people, it ended up seeping into their real lives, where they basically deadnamed their "mundane" reality and thought it was acceptable to walk around the community college dressed as a Bard and insisting you refer to them as "Draxon the Songsmyth". 

"Dude, what is your real name?" 

"My MUNDANE name was Luke Preston, but please do not refer to me by that identity past, kind sir - for that person twas I is dead to me now!" 

GTFO. Those folks always creeped me out. "One day I'm going to read about what they dug up that you had buried under your patio, aren't I???" 


Fri Nov 11 2022 09:22:49 EST from IGnatius T Foobar
Yes, of course ... those of us who were BBSers are now middle age. My wife of 28 years and I played around in SCA as well, but somehow we managed to avoid most of the debauchery. Back then you couldn't get monkeypox from a cloven fruit, I guess.

 



[#] Fri Nov 11 2022 13:33:46 EST from Nurb432

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i hate to admit stupidity, but what is 'sca' ?



[#] Sat Nov 12 2022 05:00:14 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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Society for Creative Anachronism. 

They do something between Renfair and LARPing. A bunch of mostly middle aged misfits out in the woods in elaborate tents, dressed up in medieval clothes they call "garb", getting drunk and trying to bone overweight chicks who call themselves wenches and who insist on effecting bad imitations of Shakespearian speech. 

The guys dress up in home made armor that is really... really intricate - usually smithied themselves, and then beat on one another with rattan wrapped in duct tape. They get pretty elaborate here too... wars, arrows with darts tipped with tennis balls, tourneys, feasts... Strong intersectionality with BBS culture. But there are some almost cult like aspects of the community. It is *really* a lifestyle to a lot of them that starts to seep into their real life. 

 



[#] Sat Nov 12 2022 07:15:07 EST from Nurb432

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Ah, not my thing, now i understand why i never heard of it.



[#] Mon Nov 14 2022 04:30:52 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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It has its charms. If the event is at the right place, camping out in the woods with a bunch of people dressed up like Game of Thrones, drinking, fires, everyone on the same page - that can be a pretty good vibe. 

It was the... pressure to REALLY get in-group that bothered me. I was 17 or 18 the couple of times I went, and there were a lot of creepy middle aged dudes about. 

 



[#] Mon Nov 14 2022 07:33:16 EST from Nurb432

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I used to camp and hike a lot when i was younger, sometimes even in small groups. So i get the outdoors angle.

But the cosplay, nah, not for me. 



[#] Mon Nov 14 2022 20:57:34 EST from ParanoidDelusions

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I guess it is kind of an early form of Cosplay. Fantasy stories always seem set in alpine woods - and I do enjoy reading a good high fantasy story off in the woods. 

Getting to be dressed appropriately, in a tent-city full of merchants and other people living the part, wandering around - is kind of a cool experience. Kind of Westworld without the killer robots. 


Mon Nov 14 2022 07:33:16 EST from Nurb432

But the cosplay, nah, not for me. 



 



[#] Tue Nov 15 2022 11:30:31 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Yeah. We had a campus chapter back in the day, so it was mostly students plus a few people from the community who were pretty cool. Eventually we got tired of the SCA people and just split off and ran our own club.

And one of the reasons we got tired of the "real" SCA was because it was full of authenticity police. I don't care what the loudmouth Duke thinks; if we're having fun I'm going to take a few photos of the event. So go shove a cloven fruit up your ass, Angus.

You get this kind of thing all over the place, though, especially in any scene that includes some cosplay. Whether it's SCA or kigurumi or furries or even people who live in MMO games ... their personna becomes their whole life and they don't want anything to do with their "mundane" identity anymore.
SCA folks in particular will often even have their legal name changed to the name of their personna ... if they can manage to leave the sword in their car while entering the DMV :)

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