Please wait...
Wait until you hit 60. You look around "where did everyone go"
For me, for the most part, of my 'circle' i'm the last one standing.
I forgot how to Citadel Quote. I'm gonna fuck it up for a while. Yell at me, and I'll learn.
I don't want to be the last one standing. I want people crying at MY funeral, not to be crying at theirs.
Weird, my Nephew called me on WhatsApp - he lives in Prague now - he had a dream about one of the friends I was thinking about in that last post, a bad dream - and was disturbed by it. Felt it was a premonition. I told him, "It is likely - that guy is going to check out before us, most likely."
I just had such a huge feeling about missing running my own Citadel. I do like being a Sysop. It just sucked being the only one who ever checked in. :D
Well, there will be other people around, but not my 'circle'.
And i might have mentioned it before, i wont be having a funeral. A simple pitch-in lunch in the park near where we grew up. And its on the bank of the river i have asked my sister to toss ashes of myself and my animals in. Where im headed to today with the dogs actually.. its going to be 70 today...
Oh, and its going to be a 'bring your pet' day too.
I told my nephew... I'm 55, he is 52, I think - "This is the
point where some of us start dropping off."
I am 54 years old and not dead.
Hopefully not for at least another 30 years - but some people you know, around our age - will be in the coming years and decades. Some of them who visit here. At least one of the SacCit Sysops who was a regular on my BBS - he used to post fantasy pictures on one of my rooms, passed a couple of years ago. He was one of the Last Ones Calling - and his passing was part of my decision to take the damn thing down.
I am 54 years old and not dead.
It happens. I'm perpetually sad over the early deaths of Vince Quaresima (DemonStalker) and Michael Hampton (IO ERROR).
But it happens. That's life, whether we like it or not.
And we can stew in the sadness or we can look for joy in what we still have. And the sappy mantra is true, that a person is never truly gone as long as their name is still spoken.