After trying out an iPad, all I can say is, it really isn't all that impressive. Yes, they've done a nice job -- they always do. But those of us who live outside of the Steve Jobs Reality Distortion Field are already seeing that it's not the universe-changing milestone of modern computing that the fanbois are claiming it to be. (Although I'm very amused that Apple is succeeding where Microsoft failed -- it's very satisfying to watch because tablets were Bill Gates' pet project. More on that later.)

I do like my netbook, though. Now you've got to keep in mind that netbooks were not originally intended to be "very small laptops" which is how they eventually ended up getting positioned in the market. They were supposed to be access devices, companion devices. Not full-blown PC's. That only happened after Microsoft started freaking out because people were actually buying Linux-based computers (oh no!) and because these devices were being manufactured by PC makers, they had the leverage to force them to lard up the hardware specs until they could (badly) run Windows XP.

What's really funny is that the same person who argued that I was wrong about this -- that people really do want a full-blown computer and not a simple companion device -- is now an iPad owner.

So what's next? I would say, look for some really slick new netbooks emerging in the next year or two. They're not going to be based around PC technology the way the current batch are. We're going to see netbooks with ARM processors running Android or a similar software stack. They're going to be made by companies who aren't as easily pushed around by Microsoft (think phone manufacturers instead of PC manufacturers). They're going to have insanely long battery life and relatively cheap price tags, possibly as low as $100 once they really get going. And a lot of them are going to be sold, many of them to people who won't buy an iPad, either because Apple's prices are too high or because they really wanted something with an actual keyboard.

As a side note, I've gotta say I'm really loving the Android software stack. My wife and I are now the proud owners of Android-based smartphones. It's a beautifully designed environment -- easy to work with, fast and snappy, flexible, and best of all it doesn't lock you into Steve Jobs' walled garden where you can only perform Apple-sanctioned actions using Apple-approved software. Long live the world of open systems.

Yesterday's news reported that a three year old girl in Tennessee accidentally shot and killed herself after mistaking a loaded .380 caliber Smith and Wesson handgun for a Wii Remote.

Supposedly the child's stepfather 'accidentally' left the weapon out on a table right next to the video game system. As a responsible parent, I don't believe this for a minute. No one would be so careless as to put their child in that kind of danger. I believe that this was no accident. It is a scheme deliberately set up by people who want more draconian gun control laws.

Perhaps the most well known gun control advocate is Rosie O'Donnell, who claims that the Second Amendment is 'not really a right'. So there you have it: a three year old child is dead because of Rosie O'Donnell.

I am not a gun owner, but at some point I would like to learn to shoot and perhaps own a weapon of my own someday. Gun control laws are a dangerous step on the path to totalitarian government. People who advocate abridging our right to bear arms don't realize that it is the government itself from which the second amendment is intended to protect us.

I hate Facebook.

But you knew that already. I think it's a gigantic pile of crap. It's a mile wide and an inch deep, and it's impossible to have a truly deep discussion of any topic there. A few months ago, however, I allowed myself to be assimilated into Mr. Zuckerberg's present-day incarnation of The Borg, mainly because I have a number of friends who are pretty much unreachable anywhere else.

On my very first day in the Facebook cesspool I was friended by one particular chap that I knew in college. We never really got along all that well, but we ran with the same crowd so we both did what we could to make it work. Most of the time, anyway. For the purpose of this discussion, let's call him "Tim," -- partially because it's convenient to type, but also because that happens to be his real name. I won't mention his last name or whereabouts because I generally try not to do the libel thing, and he's not a public figure; he's a private citizen.

I use the term "citizen" loosely, though, beause he doesn't really deserve to possess citizenship in the United States of America, a country founded upon ideals of freedom and liberty. Tim was born in America, but he doesn't act like an American. He seems to have a deep yearning to live in the bad old days of Soviet Russia. You see, Tim is a communist.

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that he is a big supporter of B. Hussein Obama, who was the most extreme far-left member of Congress until the "perfect storm" of 2008 set the stage for his selection as the new occupant of the White House. It's not a stretch to say that he's the worst president ever. I was no fan of his predecessor (indeed, Mr. Bush did certain things that I consider completely unforgivable and I will hold them against him indefinitely) but his transgressions are small compared to those of Comrade Obama.

During the election, it was fashionable and convenient for the Looney Left to assert that anyone who had any criticism of Comrade Obama, or his wife (who built her entire career taking advantage of affirmative action programs) is a racist. To some degree, this still holds true today. They believe that no matter how badly the Obamas damage our nation, no matter how obviously their interests are in line with those of our enemies, no matter how much they continue to deliberately attempt to turn our free nation into a socialist republic, if you say something critical ... by golly, you're a bigoted throwback from the 1950's who just hates black people!

I got no shortage of this line of accusations from Tim yesterday, who decided that I was a dentally-challenged redneck KKK member because I had the audacity to assert that Michelle Obama is ugly. Yes, you heard that right, kids: I think she's ugly. I think she's really ugly. No, Tim, I didn't say that black women are ugly, although I'm sure that's the way you heard it. I said that Michelle Obama is ugly. She looks like a rabid monkey. There are plenty of beautiful black women out there. Michelle Obama is not one of them. The left-leaning mainstream media may try to paint her as some sort of idyllic Betty Crocker, but we know that she's ugly on the outside and on the inside. And because she's evil she isn't entitled to the nice treatment.

Despite the fact that I haven't seen Tim in nearly 20 years, he seems to think he knows everything about me, how I think, how I conduct myself in real life, and what makes me tick. He couldn't be further from the truth. Now, it's true that you will hear "I am not a racist" from people who truly do have some serious bigotry problems, but I like to think that my record speaks for itself. I follow Dr. King's ideal of putting people's virtues ahead of their race. It works in both directions. During my career I have worked with, under, and over people of a number of different races, and many have been both great relationships and great friendships. More importantly, they know exactly where I stand on race issues. They know that I have strong opinions, but that I'm respectful and friendly to everyone until they give me a reason not to be. They also know that I'm brutally intolerant of hypocrisy and laziness. This includes people like Michelle Obama who try to turn everything into a race issue.

Tim gave up on the debate. As far as I'm concerned, he conceded. He also de-friended me on Facebook, which is fine with me because most of his updates were mere shameless self-promotion of his company or some weird exercise program he's endorsing because it has a pyramid MLM attached to it. He's always been an easy sell, which is probably why Comrade Obama's siren song of "hope and change" appealed to him, even though it was (and still is) based around lies.

You really have to wonder what color the sky is in some people's worlds. But one of the few things I do like about Facebook is that I can taunt people who are way too thin-skinned and easily offended. It doesn't matter much to me, because if it makes them hate Facebook, so what? Maybe they'll realize how banal and vacuous it really is.

The worst of Xenix was still preferable to the best of Windows.

Microsoft had several opportunities to ubiquitize a quality operating system, irrespective of their horrific business practices. They could have built their next-gen OS on top of Xenix. They could have finished the OS/2 project instead of stabbing IBM in the back and doing Windows on top of DOS. They could have even completed Dave Cutler's vision for Windows NT instead of MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE and top-loading all of their crap into the Win32 layer instead of building around the NT microkernel.

They could have done any of the above, and still practiced their bullshit monopolistic business practices, and they could have still taken over the market. In fact, if they had built Presentation Manager on top of Xenix, it's entirely possible that Linux would not exist today, and the X Window System would never have evolved past the days of TWM and Athena Widgets because all the unixheads would have happily moved to the commodity operating system.

But no. Aside from being monopolistic bullies in the marketplace, they also consistently deliver really bad products. There is a reason Linux has already overtaken Windows in the enterprise computing market, and has denied them a monopoly in this area. People who run back end data center applications don't want an operating system that has a GUI intertwined with the bottom layers of the OS. They don't want mouse clicks in the same event queue as disk and network I/O. Windows is a bullshit design and it will never be adequate.

(a practical guide to the completely ridiculous)


Civilization as we know it is about to collapse. It will happen any day now. Just ask your local "survivalist" lunatic. He or she will tell you that it's coming, and it's coming soon.

(We'll set aside, for the moment, the fact that "The Collapse" has been coming "Real Soon Now" for close to two decades.)

Personally, I think the whole "survivalist" movement is a complete waste of time. I'm not saying that our society is stable and our way of life will never be threatened -- not by any means. What I believe, however, is that if anything does happen, it will happen in unexpected and unpreparable ways.

If you take a close look at your unfriendly neighborhood "survivalist" you will see a person with absolutely no social skills whatsoever. This person is completely incapable of functioning in a normal social setting (except, perhaps, with others who share their particular brand of brain damage). This is why they turn inwards and spend their time stockpiling canned food, guns and ammunition, camping gear, and other such things. The only way they manage to get through each day is by desperately clinging to the false hope that the society they are incapable of functioning in, will fall apart someday soon. Then, by golly, they'll show everyone how cool they are! They'll live on bottled water and MRE's while skulking about in their fatigues and wrapping their homes in sheet plastic and duct tape!

Perhaps these people have seen "Mad Max" too many times, and are just wishing so hard for a world of chaos and anarchy that they really believe our world is going to turn into that world sometime soon. I don't think it's going to happen. But what if it does? In that unlikely event, here is an easy, three-step process to follow:

1. Head over to the residence of your local "survivalist" lunatic
2. Put one round through his or her head (a .22 will do just fine, but if you've got a larger weapon, messy is good!)
3. Survive on his/her supplies for a few days, until you realize that an oppressive but organized regime has taken over, then go home.

There you go. Survivalism for the rest of us. The more astute readers among you will notice that this piece was written expressly to annoy the hell out of one specific person. If you are that person, congratulations on finding this page. Now go discuss it with the rest of the folks over at the IG Hate Club. It'll be a great laugh for the rest of us, to watch you get all bent out of shape.