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[#] Mon Sep 18 2017 12:20:45 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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Seen on some crappy website:

"Needless to say, this can be extremely fatal to the patient."

Extremely fatal?  As opposed to slightly fatal?  There's a difference between mostly-dead and all-dead after all, I guess.

[#] Mon Sep 18 2017 15:08:48 EDT from LoanShark

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All-dead, there's only one thing you can do.

[#] Mon Sep 18 2017 19:49:31 EDT from Ladyhawke

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Mon Sep 18 2017 12:20:45 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

Seen on some crappy website:

"Needless to say, this can be extremely fatal to the patient."

Extremely fatal?  As opposed to slightly fatal?  There's a difference between mostly-dead and all-dead after all, I guess.


Especially if there's a good Mutton, Lettuce, and Tomato at the end of it....

[#] Tue Sep 19 2017 14:26:54 EDT from LoanShark

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[#] Tue Oct 03 2017 10:35:38 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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Airports are pretty easy, actually. They're required by law to push

you around in a wheelchair if you ask.

And that "required by law" bit is the problem. It turns out the wheelchair operators don't work for the airline, and they don't work for the airport, they work for an independent contractor that is grudgingly hired because it's required by law.

Because of this, they don't care. The one in DCA wasn't paying attention and smashed my foot into a bollard, and then scolded me for not having the foot sitting far enough back in the wheelchair's footrest. (Gee, maybe it had something to do with the GIANT F***ING BOOT on my surgical ankle not fitting in the footrest??!)

But I've started PT and am already making some good progress. I don't really have pain anymore, just limited range of motion, which is also improving slowly.
And yesterday the orthopedist said I can start partial weight bearing (while in the boot of course) and also (finally!) I can be out of the boot when I'm just sitting around.

[#] Tue Oct 03 2017 11:00:33 EDT from wizard of aahz

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But I've started PT and am already making some good progress. I don't

really have pain anymore, just limited range of motion, which is also

Funny. We normally think you are a pain... <GRIN>

[#] Tue Oct 03 2017 15:54:16 EDT from fleeb

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Heh, sounds like you're recovering well, then, IG.

[#] Fri Oct 06 2017 00:49:53 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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Yes, I'm feeling pretty good. The x-ray still shows a gap in the fibula that hasn't completely filled in with solid bone yet, but that's where the plate is, so it's not going to move around. PT worked me really hard on Wednesday once I told them I was PWB. I can stand (but not walk) without crutches, and I can spend my desk time basically stretching all day just by putting my foot down on the floor. It's been a good week.

I still can't flex much past a 90-degree bend (foot flat on the floor). Really hoping this will remediate with time. Next year I may have to get a screw or two removed (yes Aahz, I know you've got a bunch of jokes on deck about how I've already got some screws loose) to restore the full range of motion.

It's likely that I will be returning to the scene of the accident in November.
I will ask to have the ladder brought out, and I will smash it to pieces with a sledgehammer. I would like to do the same to Mark Zuckerberg, since the accident was *clearly* Facebook's fault.

[#] Sun Oct 08 2017 22:50:22 EDT from wizard of aahz

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IG - There might have been loose screw jokes running around my head but I think we'll just say the screws are already stripped.

Do the PT.. Do the PT as much as you can and all the stretching exercises all the darned time. It's your best hope to getting back being able to use the ankle..

And to be honest, I wasn't going to hit the loose screw joke first. I was going to go after are you sure it was the fibula not filled in with solid bone? Maybe it was the skull they were referring to?


[#] Sun Oct 15 2017 21:38:04 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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I walked with one crutch today.  Doc said it was ok to do while on PWB if it felt ok.

Having one hand free to carry things around changes everything.

[#] Mon Oct 16 2017 11:15:59 EDT from wizard of aahz

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Yes. I know Boo-Boo feels infinitely freer

[#] Wed Oct 25 2017 11:36:53 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

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And now the doc sez I can walk with zero crutches.  I've still got the boot on, and I have a limp that makes me walk like a zombie, but I'm walking!

[#] Mon Nov 20 2017 17:03:27 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Just saw Teh Doc again. The walking boot is now discharged and I can walk with regular sneakers (which I was doing anyway except in PT). And I will be getting 2 out of the 10 screws removed in January. I think everyone can agree that I am way too screwed up to begin with, so two fewer screws will be a net win for everyone.

[#] Mon Nov 20 2017 17:31:40 EST from Ragnar Danneskjold

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Unscrew you!

[#] Mon Nov 20 2017 17:53:00 EST from Ladyhawke

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How many are already loose?

[#] Mon Nov 20 2017 18:12:46 EST from wizard of aahz

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He just keeps screwing around.

<bolts before this conversation gets really nuts>

[#] Mon Nov 20 2017 22:23:16 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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I've had a screw loose for as long as I can remember.  Fortunately, none of the screws in my ankle are loose.  I'm sure some here would like to throw a monkey wrench into the works.  Fortunately, I control this thread.

[#] Tue Dec 05 2017 07:13:46 EST from fleeb

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I've had some rather life changing moments recently.

A few days before Thanksgiving, I discovered I'm diabetic.

This is, of course, the perfect time to discover that you need to lose weight and start exercising, before a series of holidays that often involve excessive eating and belching in front of a television set.

Aaand, I went on vacation days after learning this, visiting my sister, without having a chance to see my doctor about details.

Fortunately, there's a lot of material out there about type 2 diabetes. That's also kind of the problem, as it's a tad ovewhelming, but I don't have to take it all in at one time... my life is not in immediate danger, and I can make adjustments as I go along.

But, I'd say I spent a good bit of the holiday hungry, trying to limit my intake of carbs.

Upon my return, I had to eat little to nothing for 48 hours in preparation for the 50-mark colonoscopy. Unfortunately, I did not realize you should drink a *lot* of water, and was somewhat dehydrated when I arrived... making it difficult for them to find a vein in which to stick the IV for knocking me out.

Possibly as a consequence, the lady manning the knockout medicines gave me perhaps a tad more oxygen than my nose liked, such that I had a ridiculous series of sneezing fits for a few days after the procedure.

Still, I would prefer to sneeze than die, I suppose, so I won't hold it against her.

Then, I finally had a chance to talk with my doctor about the lab results that indicated my diabetic condition, and learned of other concerns for me to address (too much of this, too little of that), much of which should resolve themselves should I lose weight, with the possible exception of the cholesterol, which might resolve itself due to my self-imposed dietary changes in response to the diabetic condition, as I'm off most meats again.

So, the moral of this story is that you should kill yourself sometime in your fourties so you never grow old and ever have to deal with this kind of crap.

[#] Sun Dec 10 2017 00:29:28 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

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Dammit fleeb, we were starting a pun fest and you ended it with that downer.
We're sorry to hear your bad news, of course, but come on, puns are VERY important...

[#] Mon Dec 11 2017 08:42:36 EST from fleeb

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Puns are rather important, although off my list of acceptable things to eat, unless of course, they are whole wheat puns...

Wait, 'puns'? My bad, I thought you said, 'buns'.

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