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I only want two simple things.

There are really only two simple things that I want in this life.

One of them is a tree that grows marshmallows.  No leaves, just marshmallows.  This would be the perfect tree for campfires.  The fallen limbs can be used as firewood, and the smaller branches will have marshmallows on the end of them for toasting.  No longer would we have to buy marshmallows, clean up the sticks to use as marshmallow sticks, and then toast them ... just reach for a stick-with-marshmallow already put together, and stick it in the fire.  How wonderful would that be?  I want to live in that kind of world.  I like campfires.

Speaking of fire ... the other thing that I want is a universal detonator.  I want to be able to blow up anything, anywhere, at any time, without having to plant explosives first.  When I push the button, anything I want to explode must explode.  Don't like the way that asshole in the Lexus is hogging the highway?  Click, BOOM.  Problem solved.  Building next door blocking my view of the sunset?  Click, BOOM.  Turn on the TV and find that The View is on?  Click, BOOM.  (Note: in that last case, the explosion occurs in the TV studio, not in my living room.  The universal detonator must work remotely.)

I don't ask for much.  I just want these two simple things.

Posted by IGnatius T Foobar on Fri Apr 13 2018 10:22:30 EDT
1 comments | permalink
slapshot <>  says:  Sun May 06 2018 00:59:05 EDT
Well, the second one is not that bad lol :)

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