Let's face it, folks: clowns are creepy.
No one likes clowns anymore. They are an antiquity of the 20th century, when adults and children alike found them funny and entertaining. That just isn't the case anymore.
(Image credit: Matthew Inman, theoatmeal.com)
That being the case, why does McDonald's still have the creepy clown Ronald McDonald as its mascot?
Doesn't everyone know that someone who looks like this is an obvious child molester?
It is obviously time for Ronald McDonald to retire. Unfortunately, when I did a web search for "Retire Ronald McDonald," instead of seeing a bunch of people who agree with this sentiment, I instead found an obnoxious campaign by a bunch of nanny-state activists complaining that the McDonald's mascot is bad because they are marketing directly to children. So what? My kids don't decide when we eat at McDonald's. That decision is always made by me, and/or their mother, and we feed our children a balanced diet. Sometimes we go out, and sometimes we treat them to lunch at McDonald's. It's nothing to be ashamed of! They sell burgers and fries, which will make you fat if you eat there every day. We don't eat there every day, or even every week. I don't blame McDonald's for being who they are (some would disagree). They are an American success story, they sell greasy food, and they should just "own it" instead of allowing themselves to get beat up by the Food Nazis.
(Now here's a girl who knows how to defend herself against creeps! After this incident I rewarded her for her courage with a burger and fries.)
So let's collectively ignore the Food Nazis and let Ronald retire for the right reasons. His garish colors are from the McDonald's decor of a bygone era, now that McDonald's restaurants have all been redecorated for the 21st century. He's not entertaining anymore. People think clowns are creepy. People still love burgers and fries. Now go out there and enjoy a clown-free lunch.