Please wait...
Yet someone at one of those funerals sat down with me, and said "I have
to forgive them." No, you fucking don't. You don't have to forgive
the man that raised you, but also raped you. You don't have to afford
them any respect, and frankly, you should let them die alone and
unwanted.
You have to clear yourself of whatever baggage they laid upon you. Forgiveness is but one way of doing that. There are other ways.
and wail "But we're faaaaaaaaamilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" like that makes
Yeah. I have "blood relatives" who I can be 100% certain I will never see again after both of my parents pass (and they're both around 80 years old, so...). Fuck that noise. Keeping company with toxic people just because you have ancestors in common is a really stupid idea.
Thankfully my family ( both sides ) are not like that.
Even tho some of us don't agree on everything, we still agree we are family and support each other, and just avoid those subjects.
Mon Mar 24 2025 21:17:57 UTC from IGnatius T FoobarYeah. I have "blood relatives" who I can be 100% certain I will never see again after both of my parents pass (and they're both around 80 years old, so...). Fuck that noise. Keeping company with toxic people just because you have ancestors in common is a really stupid idea.
Perhaps I should elaborate; the people who who raised you deserve respect if they raised you well.
I never meant you should put up with rape. Seriously, how the sam hill was I supposed to know about that, PanaSonic?
Mon Mar 24 2025 22:18:41 UTC from SouthernComputerGeekPerhaps I should elaborate; the people who who raised you deserve respect if they raised you well.
I never meant you should put up with rape. Seriously, how the sam hill was I supposed to know about that, PanaSonic?
It's not just rape, though, I think the number of people out there who abuse their blood/family relationship out there is astronomically high. I mean, hell, most people's reasons for having children are pretty damn suspect to begin with. And then historically, you have all the people who've built a world that is built on patriarchy and lineage. It's seriously, seriously, fucked up.
Sure, I went to the extreme example, my direct (by adoption) bloodline is full of rapists, molesters, thieves, and other ilk, and people who enable it. But I'm pretty sure almost everyone else's family is full of people who are ready to abuse the trust instilled by the people that raised them. I can't be the only person who had "family" crawling out of the woodwork to find some way to take advantage of them when they got a new job or a pay raise or came into something, I can't be the only person who's ever said "no" to someone just to have them try to justify their poor actions with "but we're family!" .. Or even just being told "You have to love (or forgive or respect) them, they're (whatever relationship they are)." Hell, just as simple as "Oh, here's Aunt Eileen! Give her hugs and kisses!" as a young child.
The "traditional family" is a societal construct, it doesn't
mean anything at all.
Entire cities, and nations, have waged war for years because of
"family". Family means *nothing* in the grand scheme of
things. "But we're family!!!" is the most abusive and
manipulative phrase I've ever encountered.
I would argue that traditional families are the basic building blocks of the societies within which they exist. Without a solid family block it is night impossible to raise children into functioning adults.
Keep in mind that I recognize non-Western family models (which are the ones people around here seem to be familiar with) as traditional family models in the places in which they are traditional. And it has a tendency to work for those places.
Heck, even non-humans have their own traditional family model in order to raise their children. A foal is just not going to make it to adulthood without "traditional" herd dynamics.
Sure, I went to the extreme example, my direct (by adoption)
bloodline is full of rapists, molesters, thieves, and other ilk,
and people who enable it. But I'm pretty sure almost everyone
else's family is full of people who are ready to abuse the trust
instilled by the people that raised them. I can't be the only
person who had "family" crawling out of the woodwork to find
some way to take advantage of them when they got a new job or a
pay raise or came into something, I can't be the only person
who's ever said "no" to someone just to have them try to justify
their poor actions with "but we're family!" .. Or even just
being told "You have to love (or forgive or respect) them,
they're (whatever relationship they are)." Hell, just as
simple as "Oh, here's Aunt Eileen! Give her hugs and kisses!" as
a young child.
It is safe to say that, in general terms, all families have at least some motherfuckers in them. It is pure statistics: most people suck, therefore a certain individual in a given family has a certain chance of sucking.
2025-03-24 22:18 from SouthernComputerGeek <msgrhys@uncensored.citadel.org>
Perhaps I should elaborate; the people who who raised you deserve
respect if they raised you well.
I never meant you should put up with rape. Seriously, how the sam
hill was I supposed to know about that, PanaSonic?
You couldn't, that's the problem with being an absolutist. The good news is that now you can choose to learn from this and grow as a person.
Tue Mar 25 2025 22:50:53 UTC from zelgomer2025-03-24 22:18 from SouthernComputerGeek <msgrhys@uncensored.citadel.org>
Perhaps I should elaborate; the people who who raised you deserve
respect if they raised you well.
I never meant you should put up with rape. Seriously, how the sam
hill was I supposed to know about that, PanaSonic?
You couldn't, that's the problem with being an absolutist. The good news is that now you can choose to learn from this and grow as a person.
And just how am I the one at fault here? He/she had a fucked up family and seems to think that means all families are fucked up and that the very concept of family is bad. And then whines about the supposed "patriarchy".