I do want to know. 

Sun Jan 25 2026 16:56:31 UTC from IGnatius T Foobar

If ya ever want to understand why pasting a screenshot always works while simply doing a copy-and-paste out of your browser doesn't, ask me in one of the techie rooms.  Even I didn't really understand it until recently.

If ya ever want to understand why pasting a screenshot always works while simply doing a copy-and-paste out of your browser doesn't, ask me in one of the techie rooms.  Even I didn't really understand it until recently.

I was there for a while - then I went - I need to do something with this stuff - that makes Gen Z kids with dyed hair sit and play adventure for an hour and a half and understand what they have lost. ;) 

Sat Nov 29 2025 16:02:24 UTC from Nurb432

Before i went thru the great purge, most of mine were in the garage on wire shelving racks, with a couple of pathways to view them.  More of a 'museum' sort of setup. 

Now its a machine shop. 

 

Before i went thru the great purge, most of mine were in the garage on wire shelving racks, with a couple of pathways to view them.  More of a 'museum' sort of setup. 

Now its a machine shop. 

Sat Nov 29 2025 06:01:51 UTC from ParanoidDelusions

 

Seems to be working. Atari 2600+ running a genuine Atari Adventure cartridge on Thanksgiving in my Retro Museum. 

 

The more you look at this picture - the more things you'll see. 

2099546779@Uncensored

I think that's a question for our fearless leader here.  I'm doing nothing fancy, and it works.

• search for image ( be it web or something i created, or camera, bla bla )
• resize if needed so its not horrendously large ( since we cant resize after paste, or i dont know how )
• do screenshot with one of the 2 apps.. 
• select copy to clipboard
• come over here and hit shift insert, or right click and choose paste ( both ways work for me ) 

Fri Nov 28 2025 07:37:02 UTC from ParanoidDelusions

But how? When I cut and paste a picture, it shows a broken link. When I hit the picture of the tree, it wants to hotlink to an image on some other hosted image site? 

For me its brain dead easy.   I just do a image capture using lxde's screenshot.  Copy to clipboard.  Move over to here, paste. Done. 

Flameshot also works, but i rarely use that unless i need to draw, or so that a menu or something doesn't vanish, since it freezes the screen, unlike the other.

Thu Nov 27 2025 05:12:44 UTC from ParanoidDelusions

How? 

I need a tutorial. 
This is as far as I make it tonight. 

 

How? 

I need a tutorial. 
This is as far as I make it tonight. 

Now? I always have been able to, or at least as far back as i can remember. And check out the memes room that SGC created for us. Its mostly 100% pictures.

Sat Nov 22 2025 05:12:21 UTC from ParanoidDelusions

So you can post pics on Uncensored now? 

May not be technically a joke, but it is funny in such an ironic way.

From a 'news service':

~~~~~~~~

'The deputy head of the AP, Monique Verdier, said that while chatbots may seem like clever tools, “as a voting aid, they consistently fail”. Voters were being pushed towards a party that did not necessarily align with their political views, she added.

“This directly impacts a cornerstone of democracy: the integrity of free and fair elections,” said Verdier. “We therefore warn against using AI chatbots for voting advice, as their operation is unclear and difficult to verify.”

~~~~~~~~

So they are just as reliable as any news source today.  

Q: What do you call it when a Chinese dictator catches rodents with his suspenders?

A: Mao Straps.

(I posted that to a group text thread a couple of weeks ago when I came up with it, and someone responded by telling us that his mom died.  Hopefully not from the joke.  What a buzz kill.)

Not unexpected.

I'm sure that i would do the same, is not surprising. 

Sat Apr 05 2025 17:04:11 UTC from darknetuser Subject: Re: Trolley problem

Also I killed the baby and saved the cat

Lol.. the "trolley problem" .. with moving parts.

https://neal.fun/absurd-trolley-problems/

Schrodinger said, or did he?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It needed a laugh

Knock knock

Who's there?

The chicken

Darwin is slowly rotating, get the magnets and copper wire before this continues. We could be onto something

What is the difference between a lobster with fake boobs and a bus stop?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez  

Need i say more? 

lol !

I could tell one, but someone might get offended, and we cant have that in 2024.

"Boeing Starliner: New leak delays astronaut undocking from space station"

Well, it is true, but Boeing is one huge joke now.  

The entire Biden family is a joke.  And not a funny one.

Sun Nov 19 2023 15:48:11 EST from Nurb432

LoL

Sun Nov 19 2023 14:24:49 EST from msgrhys

*snip 'jpg' image*

 

I right-clicked and selected "copy image" but it apparently copied the wrong image.

LoL

Sun Nov 19 2023 14:24:49 EST from msgrhys

*snip 'jpg' image*

2099369315@Uncensored

2099369277@Uncensored

You did not post a picture.  You posted an image tag that references a file on your local machine.  That ain't gonna work.  Use the Attachments feature to attach an image to your post.  It'll be uploaded to Uncensored and anykitty can click on the attachment of your post.

Sat Nov 18 2023 18:03:56 EST from msgrhys

What happened to the picture I posted?

What happened to the picture I posted?

I normally dont like this stuff, as they are mostly stupid. Friend sent me this and for some reason i thought it was amusing.

An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive European sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man. He yells, "Look what you did to my car! You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!" "Oh my…" the old man said nervously. "I don't have that kind of money. Let me call my son.” he said with hope. “He trains dolphins and he will know what to do." "Dolphins!" the other driver huffed, while rolling his eyes. The old man pulled out his phone, dialed his son, and just as his son answered, the irate man snatched the phone away from the old man. "So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh?” The irate man yelled, “Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need TEN GRAND right now, or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp!" "I'll be there in 10 minutes." says the voice calmly on the other end. Exactly 10 minutes later, a Jeep pulls up and a g ]]>https://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=2099369160Fri, 17 Nov 2023 02:19:58 -00002099369160@Uncensored

2099263331@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=2099260003Tue, 13 Apr 2021 05:41:51 -00002099260003@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=4649673Sun, 07 Feb 2021 15:41:05 -00004649673@Uncensored 2021-02-06 18:43 from IGnatius T Foobar >Yeah, I get it, we ended up with Reichstag 2021 on the same day as >the Epiphany.   Someone else ruined the joke, not me. > you can eat King Cake. ]]>https://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=4649600Sat, 06 Feb 2021 23:43:35 -00004649600@Uncensored

Yeah, I get it, we ended up with Reichstag 2021 on the same day as the Epiphany.   Someone else ruined the joke, not me.

Yeah?  Most of us thought it was the day Biden was confirmed.  I mean that in presidential terms not religious terms. 

https://img.ifunny.co/images/49f88a8b29db2c097f5816620ecb5c67ecf876d4d4e2001fa5032e059c64799c_1.jpg

More like a bottle of trucker piss on the side of the road. 

Mon Feb 01 2021 09:04:46 EST from LoanShark

2021-02-01 09:04 from LoanShark

2020-12-12 19:13 from IGnatius T Foobar

January 6 is coming sooner than you think.

well this post definitely aged well

like a cheap table wine that spoiled in the bottle, or a bad batch of brie

lol

Sun Jan 31 2021 07:15:39 EST from zooer

And so it begins.

Tech giant Google rolled out an update earlier this week to both the desktop and mobile versions of its popular navigation app, Google Maps. The most notable aspect of the update is the introduction of the “Show Republicans” feature, which will automatically guide users away from potentially difficult encounters

http://bit.ly/2MAzLlL

And so it begins.

Tech giant Google rolled out an update earlier this week to both the desktop and mobile versions of its popular navigation app, Google Maps. The most notable aspect of the update is the introduction of the “Show Republicans” feature, which will automatically guide users away from potentially difficult encounters

http://bit.ly/2MAzLlL

Give them an inch and they will take 16 kilometers.

West Virginia will remove a statue of actor and comedian Don Knotts that is located in his hometown of Morgantown, WV. 

It was his role as Barney Fife, however, that caused many protestors to demand the statues removal. “Barney Fife, was a nervous, twitchy little man with an itchy trigger finger” said protestor Joanne Miller. “He was dirty. He was always sniffling, so he was probably on cocaine or hopped up on goofballs or something. He was always looking to shoot someone with his one bullet. Thank God Andy was there to control this madman or Goober or Otis might have gotten shot. I bet he was racist too, if there were ever any black people on the show we would have known.”

https://madhousemagazine.com/wv-to-remove-don-knotts-barney-fife-statue-following-complaints/

I can't remember if I've posted this here, and y'all may have heard it anyway, but here for your amusement is my chicken joke:

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side (ba dum, tish)

Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetic order........... Works every time LOL

-- 
Realist - Everybody in America is soft, and hates conflict. The cure for this, both in politics and social life, is the same -- hardihood. Give them raw truth.

Ah yes, how silly of me, I forgot that redheads are called gingers in some parts of the world.

4288771@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=4288732Wed, 23 Aug 2017 17:54:59 -00004288732@Uncensored Surely, everyone here knows why red headed people stay far away from >Canada Dry. No but now I just have to find out. ]]>https://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=4269293Sun, 14 May 2017 13:04:35 -00004269293@Uncensored

4268891@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=4215150Fri, 17 Mar 2017 14:21:03 -00004215150@Uncensored

He was letting us know...

4175792@Uncensored

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

My eyes!  My eyes!!! </trails eye blood behind her as she runs away>

4091676@Uncensored

You don't like it because you stand behind Hillary!  I mean HITLERY.

Actually, I think the joke is that it doesn't make sense. 

Not only is it not funny but it doesn't even make sense.

You know what's funny?

4083879@Uncensored

DARPA along with Martin Marietta invented an ied that looks like a prayer rug, they are happy to report that phophets are going through the roof.

4056370@Uncensored

Sun Apr 10 2016 11:29:59 PM EDT from ryan42 @ Uncensored

What did the fish say after he ran into a wall?

"Ow."

(+5; mega-funny)

Scientists tell us that the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. On earth the most common particle is the moron.

   A Dutchman was explaining the red, white and blue of the Netherlands' flag to an American.  "Our flag is symbolic of our taxes," said the Dutchman, "we get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay."
   The American  nodded. "I know what you mean. It's the same in the U.S., only we see stars as well."

A con-man, a corrupt bureaucrat, and a socialist walk into an election.... 

4014991@Uncensored

3979424@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3969291Tue, 13 Oct 2015 13:11:11 -00003969291@Uncensored

Made in Germany in the post-Fahrvergnuegen era:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSAqTdc-Y2g&feature=youtu.be

Wrong room for me to continue this, but thanks Vince.  I did some citadel drift and re-found Kate Bush and the 2014 BBC documentary.  Great fun to watch.

Mama Vulture had a problem. Her beloved chick was constantly breaking her heart; getting into trouble. He would stray from the nest, fall in with a bad crowd of other avian ne'er-do-wells, and frequently need to be rescued by his mother, sometimes at great risk to herself. Her only pleasure in life was gathering food to nourish him. He was defiant and unappreciative of her efforts, often squawking and demanding, "Hey, you old buzzard! I'm starving! What's for supper?" To which she would dutifully reply...

"Carrion, my wayward so ]]>https://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3895541Thu, 19 Mar 2015 12:27:16 -00003895541@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3895447Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:30:46 -00003895447@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3854281Mon, 29 Dec 2014 18:35:44 -00003854281@Uncensored

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for
Christmas.

"Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought
her a belt and a bag."

"That was very kind of you," Jim added, "I hope she appreciated the
thought."

Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will
work better now."

One day a five year old girl excitedly approached her mother and announced
that she had learned where babies come from.

The mother was amused and said "Oh really sweetie, why don't you tell me all
about it?"

The little girl then explained, "Well, the mommy and daddy take off all of
their clothes, and the daddy's wiener stands way up high, and the mommy
kneels on the floor and puts the daddy's wiener in her mouth, and then the
daddy's wiener sort of explodes and makes sticky juice into the mommy's
mouth, and then the mommy swallows the sticky juice, and that's where babies
come from."

The mother looked lovingly at her daughter, leaned over to meet her eye to
eye and said, "Oh honey, that's sweet, but that's not where babies come from.
That's where jewelry comes from."

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration will require rearview
cameras in new vehicles. That way people will just have to glance over at a
screen to backup instead of turning all the way around and losing their place
on what they are texting.

The African chieftain was so religious that when he ascended to power, he forbade the killing of animals.

Not long thereafter, the lion and cheetah population began to get out of hand, and, starving in the wilds, they began
feeding on humans. Before long, even the antelope and zebra were so plentiful that they began nibbling on natives.

The terrified populace petitioned their leader to rescind his edict, but he refused: thus, they had no choice but to
overthrow the chief.

Not only was the revolt successful, It was the first time in history that  a reign was called on account of game.

The family wheeled Grandma out onto the lawn, in her Wheelchair, where the
activities for her 100th birthday Were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak
very well, But she would write notes when she needed to communicate.


After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started Leaning off to the
right, so some family members grabbed Her, straightened her up, and stuffed
pillows on her Right. A short time later, she started leaning off to Her
left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed Pillows on her left. Soon
she started leaning forward, So the family members again grabbed her, and
then tied a Pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A grandson who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma,
you're looking good! How are they treating You?'

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a Note to the
grandson.......

'Bastar ]]>https://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3823748Tue, 18 Nov 2014 17:43:45 -00003823748@Uncensored

An exhibitionist had booked an a flight from New York to London on British Air. At the departure lounge, the man stood nervously near the boarding gate, waiting for the flight to be called. When the PA announcement was finally made, he walked briskly up the jetway. At the end of the jetway stood a stewardess, collecting tickets. When it was his turn to hand over his ticket, he opened his coat and exposed himself.

With typical British reserve the stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir, but you
must to show your ticket and boarding pass here, not your stub."

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in San Francisco, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, " I'ma gonna go picka her up!"

<groan>

What do you call a person that does no like Apple's next OS version?

An Antiyosemite.

Thu Sep 11 2014 08:22:34 AM EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

I sorta thought mine was grade-school enough, but...

I wonder if one could create any new dead baby jokes. Fresh dead baby jokes...

Thank you feeb!

Suppose I could go full tilt grade school and I could recite dead baby jokes... but, Na, I will resist.

Or a penguin.  I suddenly feel the need to watch "The Blues Brothers" movie.

What do you call a nun that sleepwalks?

A roamin' catholic.

 A recent poll found that 58% of Americans now think it should be legal for gays and lesbians to get married.

 And the other 42% object only because they don't want to go to another goddamn wedding.

 So one guy says to another guy, "Mandelbaum and Rosenstern were talking one day..."

 Right away, his friend interrupts him, "Always with the Jewish jokes! Give t a rest! Why do all the names in your jokes have to be Jewish?"

 So he starts again, "Okay, so Hashimoto and Suzuki were talking one day at their nephew's Bar Mitzvah..."

 A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her
head "no."

 A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"

 "I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your
dick' cards?"

And now, a little Jewish humor:

CHANUKAH STAMPS

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps please."

"What denomination?" says the clerk.

The woman says "Oy vey ... my God, has it come to this?   Okay, give me six orthodox, twelve conservative and thirty-two reform!"


THE CITIZENSHIP TEST

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class.   He was asked to spell "cultivate," and he spelled it correctly.

He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile, responded: "Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home."



MOISHE

Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the Congregation departed.

The rabbi grabbed Moishe by the hand, pulled him aside and w ]]>https://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3589853Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:40:06 -00003589853@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3584965Fri, 08 Nov 2013 16:32:23 -00003584965@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3584961Fri, 08 Nov 2013 16:11:21 -00003584961@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3584953Fri, 08 Nov 2013 15:44:58 -00003584953@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3583240Wed, 06 Nov 2013 19:51:53 -00003583240@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3576199Sun, 27 Oct 2013 22:22:44 -00003576199@Uncensored Oct 27 2013 3:38pm from zooer @uncnsrd >They will still be blaming Bush in 100 years, but then again there are things to blame him for, > My buddy got drunk the other night. It was Busch's fault. Oooops... wrong Busch.... ;) ]]>https://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3576174Sun, 27 Oct 2013 19:38:39 -00003576174@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3575496Sat, 26 Oct 2013 21:49:55 -00003575496@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3575411Sat, 26 Oct 2013 21:47:20 -00003575411@Uncensoredhttps://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=Jokes?start_reading_at=3574882Sat, 26 Oct 2013 19:35:21 -00003574882@Uncensored

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.

The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.

30 points to fleeb