Mine was better. ( and i rarely have them. )

Sun Dec 15 2024 01:12:19 UTC from zelgomer

Sometimes I have dreams where I just have a really heated argument with family members with whom I've been practically estranged from for years. I think I hate those worse than any nightmares or dreams about falling or whatever, because they cause me to wake up in a bad mood LOL.

I had a dream last night where I was in Denver, CO airport, and I had set my phone down on a table, and someone swapped it out for an identical one but slightly broken, and obviously didn't have any of the data on my phone (it was empty), and I tracked them down via ringing my phone from their phone, repeatedly, and confronted them, and they would only let me have my phone back if I agreed to be their drug mule.

It was one of the stranger dreams I've ever had in my life.

My pokemon of choice is a Genetically Modified Charizard.  He runs on nuclear power instead of regular fire, so he can get wet and still fire up at full power.  I think he would be very happy to help you avenge your Ponyta friends.

was about to ask 'what about ... ' but i guess that answers it.  They didnt care.

Thu Feb 01 2024 14:15:02 EST from darknetuser

The good news is Ponytas are fireproof, being fire pony Pokemons.

If you want to start having semi-lucid dreams, start taking wild lettuce extract..

I dont have that problem. i hardly sleep. and when i do im 90% awake

I love those dreams where I have to go to the bathroom (because I have to go to the bathroom but my brain is fighting to keep me asleep so it assures me I’ll find a bathroom in my dream) and I wind up wandering the long endlessly large houses that have a million rooms and hallways and even secret passages and trap doors and majestic huge doors and just non-stop sprawling spaces. But never any actual bathrooms. Or there will be a bathroom but it will have crowds of people and no walls for the stalls and no privacy at all or I get into a bathroom stall and there’s no toilet. One way or another the dream has to end because I have to get up.  I just think it’s amazing what my mind will spin up for me while it tries to get another few minutes of sleep in. 

For your 'reconciliation tour dream'  Akane Hirose is a damned good drummer, tho i hear a bit crazy. ( but aren't most? )

or he just gave up and walked away from it.

From what i remember, in the old days he was pretty cool.  Not payed any attention in a LONG time tho.

Sat Oct 08 2022 03:01:44 PM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar

Hey, I was a fan, at least during his heyday, which it could be argued has come and gone.

ESR, the quintessential boomer and lolbertarian.

I donno, being able to prepare i think is a bit 'better' of an option.   Neither is good of course. 

Unsure as of yet.

However. another friend who was talking to her on the phone that evening said she was having trouble speaking.  So i suspect a stroke.

Speaking of closure and friends and such.

Just lost my best friend this morning, unexpectedly.  Call from one of her children around 8am.  I never answer the phone if i dont recognize the number. I did this time. 

I would imagine its human nature for closure, but it would still vary by person, and by what they lost.

I roomed with 3 guys one year at school. ( after that i ditched it and got an apartment on my own. I was young and stupid )

They were an interesting group. 

One was a prissy chess player that thought he was better and smarter than us. Total asshole. Got tired of listening to him one evening trying to watch TV as he was playing by himself in the kitchen area, "im a master player bla bla bla " "Fine Mr master player, get that damned board out and if i win you shut up.. forever" and washed the floor with him ( little did he know, i was on the chess team in middle school.. but i grew up and moved on ).  When i left, i dug his prize board out, took one piece, and hid it with some of his other things. Wouldn't find it until he moved out.   Might have been mean, but i didnt toss/steal it, or beat him with a bat. So i was being good.

Another guy, *always* bought fast food.  Just figured it was his gig. One evening i got a can of ravioli out ( having to share a kitchen, i really didnt have the room to 'really' cook things so lots of canned foods and such was my diet ) and as it was on the stove "what, it comes in cans?!?!?" "mom always made that for me" .  After i explained to him how the grocery store worked, and where one was, he had ravioli for every meal, for a week. I guess fast food was not really his gig, he didnt think he had any other alternative since he wasn't at home anymore.  Poor guy.

3rd guy, came right from the deep south. Great guy, tho a little but too southern for me to really identify with him. Even his pickup truck, he converted to LP since they had no gas stations where he grew up. He also moved out about the time as i did as he couldn't handle them anymore either.  "dont you leave me here with these 2 weirdos"

That was the summer i blew up my road runner.. Bringing that back home with a couple of my buddies, that was an adventure of a life time.  I still dont know how we didnt get arrested, or dead. Or at the least lost my car out on I65 somewhere.  Man, we were stupid kids. ( part of my bus ride story i think i told before )

Fri Mar 12 2021 06:38:03 EST from zooer

I could never remember two of my college roommate's names.  I had a dream last night of a college reunion, and now I remember their names. 

I could never remember two of my college roommate's names.  I had a dream last night of a college reunion, and now I remember their names. 

I'll look it up. Sounds like an interesting read. 

Fri Feb 26 2021 18:22:32 EST from LoanShark

2021-02-26 00:16 from ParanoidDelusions
It is a great song. The OK rebuttal is just witty. But worth a listen

if you're a fan of the original. 

read The Master and Margarita if you're fascinated by "nuanced" portrayals of the devil and you loathe Soviet communism. Dissident writing at its finest, it was banned in Russia for decades.

The central insight of the book could perhaps be described as follows: "you don't think the Devil is real, Mr. Communist Atheist? Just look all around you."


So, Satan himself becomes almost a protagonist, a foil for the Lenin/Stalin era regime, which is treated with obvious disdain.


And the cat is awesome.

It is a great song. The OK rebuttal is just witty. But worth a listen if you're a fan of the original. 

Thu Feb 25 2021 16:48:01 EST from LoanShark

I got somewhat obsessed with Sympathy for the Devil after it featured heavily in the penultimate episode of Stargate: Atlantis, which is completely badass and also features some Johnny Cash...

True. That works, too - and is easier on your liver. 

Wed Feb 24 2021 07:44:05 EST from Nurb432

Unless your little group of friends are just as weird...  :)

( that is my case as we were all a bit "off" and "outcasts", but somehow still managed to find each other )

Tue Feb 23 2021 22:18:14 EST from ParanoidDelusions

When you're sober and you act like an idiot - there isn't any excuse other people can make for your weird-ass behavior. 

 

I have no problem in crowds now, or among strangers. A pity that all my old friends now shun me, and people in general refrain from gathering in groups of more than two.

Same here, my customers love me.

Its not because i have changed my outlook in life or anything, its my job to be friendly with them and help them.   And i do.

Once i walk in the door ( be it real or virtual ) im on the clock, and my personal preferences, well, im not being paid to be 'different' im there to do a job, and i take it seriously. 

Unless your little group of friends are just as weird...  :)

( that is my case as we were all a bit "off" and "outcasts", but somehow still managed to find each other )

Tue Feb 23 2021 22:18:14 EST from ParanoidDelusions

When you're sober and you act like an idiot - there isn't any excuse other people can make for your weird-ass behavior. 

Another thing... 

Alcohol - and drugs - do have the affect of allowing you to learn what "works" and doesn't work interacting in social situations, with less risk.

"You were being an idiot..."

"I know, I was way too drunk. Sorry..." 

"Ok. Well, that was weird. Don't do THAT again..." 

"I know, I know... I'm not sure what I was thinking. I need to drink less.." 


When you're sober and you act like an idiot - there isn't any excuse other people can make for your weird-ass behavior. 

This is why even socially well-adjusted people tend to partake in social situations. 

In this manner - the socially awkward introvert can learn what behaviors tend to illicit positive peer interactions and which ones cause interactions that reinforce social anxiety. At least, that is how it worked for me. 

If I am in a comfortable group, I'm very outgoing - but, it wears me down. Extroverts feed off social activity. There is this myth that introverts *shun* social activity. It just doesn't *recharge* them, it depletes them, and they need isolated downtime. 

It isn't the same as being socially awkward or painfully shy - but those can absolutely exist in addition to being introverted. 

In an unusual group, - I am very risk adverse.

Also... I have *always* "self-medicated" to overcome my insecurity, shyness, and social anxiety. 

Which leads to the other things, like parties and banging - creating a positive feedback loop. 

We had lots of parties. but we were a really small group.

No comment on the banging part, but being a small close nit group since high school, its odd when everyone is an ex of someone else. ( or a relative, which is sometimes worse )

Tue Feb 23 2021 12:11:45 EST from darknetuser

I keep hearing of people who describe themselves as introverted, but happen to have a whole lot of a social life and bang lots of girls and do lots of parties.

Either they are not as introverted as they claim, or I am doing introverting wrong.

Many of my friends were like that.  After i got into my sophomore year of college it was "dammit, i need to straighten up NOW' ( i think i mentioned that before. after a total blur of freshman year i woke up ) But most of my friends did not, even in their and 40s were still partying way their lives. Some didnt make it to their 40s. ( we were pretty hard core )

I had moved on, left them to their eternal childhood summer of self destruction. I had a career to build a wife to feed, etc.

Mon Feb 22 2021 13:57:30 EST from ParanoidDelusions

I partied well into my 20's and banged a string of dozens of girls from 8th grade until I met my wife at a Kegger house party that I was throwing. I got it all out of my system, and experienced everything I wanted to, to the point I was sick of it, and saw the righting on the wall of the same circle, the same clique, doing the same things, with the same people well into our late 30s, just like my older siblings - and I didn't want that future for myself. It is the framework of a Bruce Springsteen song. 

Depends on what circles you run around in. If you're part of the Commodore retro communities, it comes up fairly frequently, still. :) 

Of course, the first time I said "hella" during a business meeting in Ohio, you would have thought a pink elephant had just done a waltz across the boardroom table with an alien from Area 51.

I'm a Northern Californian IT professional. Intel had HELLA business meetings. :) 

All my friends are like this. I'm not a bestie kinda guy... but, all my besties, I always pick up right where I left off with them as they wander in and out. I'm always here. When nobody is around, I spend time online. I'm a "life of the party" kinda guy...  most times. But I'm actually pretty introverted, and I can go long periods in isolation and not feel lonely or bored. 

I guess I'm just always "eh, whatever," about almost everyone. My nephew is probably my best friend - but he does things in Europe that keep him very mobile and with frequent periods of "inaccessibility" and changing methods of contacting him. I miss interacting with him frequently... but he is like me - he goes and does his own thing and when we get a chance to get back together, it is like no time has passed - and usually a shitshow on the first day. 

When I tell stories about what he and I get up to, I think people think I'm making them up to brag. They *are* fun stories to tell, though. 

Mon Feb 22 2021 18:08:46 EST from Nurb432

That is something you dont hear much anymore.

And ya, i think we have all had 'that friend' who floats in and out of our lives.  After a couple of cycles, you become 'eh, whatever'. 

Mon Feb 22 2021 13:46:45 EST from ParanoidDelusions

Warez

 

That is something you dont hear much anymore.

And ya, i think we have all had 'that friend' who floats in and out of our lives.  After a couple of cycles, you become 'eh, whatever'. 

Mon Feb 22 2021 13:46:45 EST from ParanoidDelusions

Warez

I partied well into my 20's and banged a string of dozens of girls from 8th grade until I met my wife at a Kegger house party that I was throwing. I got it all out of my system, and experienced everything I wanted to, to the point I was sick of it, and saw the righting on the wall of the same circle, the same clique, doing the same things, with the same people well into our late 30s, just like my older siblings - and I didn't want that future for myself. It is the framework of a Bruce Springsteen song. 

When I got married, I waited 7 years, despite my wife wanting kids immediately - before I agreed. There were more important things than popping out babies. My Father-in-Law didn't like this decision - he couldn't wait to be a Grandpa. I didn't care. 

Then I had one, and decided that was enough. 

Lots of people have been disappointed with lots of my decisions through my life. The key is, I didn't make those decisions to make THEM happy, I make myself happy first, and that

I'm also a big fan of the song Sympathy for the Devil, by the Rolling Stones. I think it is one of the great masterpieces of rock. 

But I also like the OK Go rebuttal: 

“A Good Idea At The Time” is essentially a response to the Rolling Stones' tune “Sympathy for the Devil”, and thus references its lyrics heavily.

It incorporates lyricist Damian Kulash’s viewpoint that Satan is not the cause of all of humanity’s woes, as is implied in “Sympathy”, and that humans are quite capable of making their own mistakes.

It appears to be written from the perspective of a passive Devil, standing by and witnessing historical tragedies rather than causing them.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
My friend may consider ME a stumbling block in his life. But most of his ideas have been his own, and many of them I'm been soundly against. I didn't support him marrying his virgin High School sweetheart right out of high school. I didn't support them moving to Arizona to get a job as a Master Mechanic. I didn't support them popping out two babies when they were still trying to figure out what they were going to be in life. I didn't support this as FOLLOWING God's plan - because frankly, I don't think God is an idiot. I never really SAID this. I didn't support him leaving her, and moving back to Sacramento, and shacking up with a ]]>http://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=The%20Dark%20Third?start_reading_at=4669006Mon, 22 Feb 2021 18:46:45 -00004669006@Uncensored

So, I've known this guy since about '87. 

I met him through his C-64 Warez BBS. He was a wholesome half-Venezuelan kind who looked like Eric Estrada (today people would probably say Bruno Marx). One of our first conversations was about him coming down to trade warez with me. I explained that I was a Satanic Speed Metalhead recovering from drugs. He was of course, a Southern Baptist evangelistic Christian. 

Eventually he got me going to his youth groups, and he helped me build a hot rodded Datsun 510. He never really approved of my lifestyle, which still included drinking and casual sex... but we became best friends after a fashion. My nephew ended up dating his little sister. He had this high school girlfriend - and they had chastity promises and all that. Then they got married and moved away to Arizona for him to take a trade school to become a mechanic. They quickly had two kids, and she wouldn't go on birth control, and he couldn't afford another child, as the auto mechanic thin

Sat Feb 20 2021 21:33:26 EST from IGnatius T Foobar

My dreams are getting annoying.

Some of you may remember that I have (or perhaps had) a friend of 40+ years, who after some life changes (a divorce, some career turmoil, and the death of both of his parents within a short period of time) went quiet, despite my repeated attempts to reach out, despite an outpouring of kindness, and he eventually blocked me on all social media sites and blocked my number for text messages, without ever explaining why.

This lack of closure has been giving me unpleasant dreams for months now.

At first I would have dreams where he was simply there. Later on, it became dreams where he was there but he was cold to any attempt I made to connect with him. A few nights ago I got the latest upgrade: now I am having dreams where he is actively following me around and taunting me.

I can't decide whether he's being more difficult in my dreams or in real life. I miss my friend.

Try it and see...  Probably give you a sugar rush and weird dreams.

Speaking of which, I had a dream about Uncensored last night.  I don't usually remember my dreams and if I do I quickly forget them throughout the morning.

In this dream we all knew each other and have met.  I know many of you have met but I have never met any of you.  Each of you had faces.  The only thing I distinctly remember is that in each room someone posted a very similar comment about a distinct item.  It was as if the first room each user landed in they made a comment about the same obscure song.  I visited and each time I hit next a different user wrote "That reminds me of xxxx by the yyyys", or "I was thinking about this last night when I heard xxxx by the yyyys".  It was a single message in each room from a different user.

Does a Cadbury egg count? 

Sun Oct 25 2020 12:20:51 EDT from zooer

Why You Should Eat an Egg Each Night Before Bed

Is a hard-boiled egg the best bedtime snack? Nick Bitz, ND, naturopathic doctor and chief scientific author at YouTheory, makes a strong case for eating an egg (boiled, poached, or sunny-side up) when the moon is high in the sky. Eating an egg as a source of protein before bed could help you sleep better, he says.

https://www.wellandgood.com/protein-before-bed/

Why You Should Eat an Egg Each Night Before Bed

Is a hard-boiled egg the best bedtime snack? Nick Bitz, ND, naturopathic doctor and chief scientific author at YouTheory, makes a strong case for eating an egg (boiled, poached, or sunny-side up) when the moon is high in the sky. Eating an egg as a source of protein before bed could help you sleep better, he says.

https://www.wellandgood.com/protein-before-bed/

Mommy feeds everyone

Disturbing dream - make what you will of it

I go to the car, and take the baby (who is mine, but not one of my three real life kids) out of the car, preparing to nurse. Suddenly, I’m approached by three alien monsters, with sharp teeth and nails - something like the evil lovechild of the Alien and a Gremlin. They are clearly looking to eat me and the baby. They are hungry. I turn my back to them, offering. I say “I’m a mother. I will feed you. Please don’t take too much” 

I cradle the baby against me, protecting it, trying to nurse at the same time that these monsters are scratching off and eating my back. The pain is bearable, but I’m afraid that they will eat too much, and that I won’t be strong enough to fight them off. I’m pleading in my mind. “I’m a mother. I will feed you. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t take too much” but I’m afraid that they will eat all of me. I’m trying to figure out how I can fight them

They’re bigger than I am, strong, with huge sharp teeth and claws, and they’re literally eating me alive, and all I can do is let them eat me in the hope that they won’t eat too much or hurt the baby. I’m screaming but nothing comes out, I’m trying to beg them not to eat too much of me. Trying.
4521439@Uncensoredhttp://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=The%20Dark%20Third?start_reading_at=4521190Wed, 29 Jan 2020 15:37:20 -00004521190@Uncensoredhttp://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=The%20Dark%20Third?start_reading_at=4520901Tue, 28 Jan 2020 13:59:56 -00004520901@Uncensored 2020-01-27 13:41 from IGnatius T Foobar >Last night I counted the fireplaces in my house and there were over 25. > > > This morning I counted them again and there were 0. > > They fell into a dimensional wormhole. Or were stolen by tax collectors. ]]>http://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=The%20Dark%20Third?start_reading_at=4520685Mon, 27 Jan 2020 18:41:26 -00004520685@Uncensoredhttp://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=The%20Dark%20Third?start_reading_at=4489600Thu, 03 Oct 2019 15:07:53 -00004489600@Uncensoredhttp://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=The%20Dark%20Third?start_reading_at=4489445Thu, 03 Oct 2019 02:01:46 -00004489445@Uncensoredhttp://uncensored.citadel.org/readfwd?go=The%20Dark%20Third?start_reading_at=4478558Sun, 25 Aug 2019 22:12:58 -00004478558@Uncensored

Wed Aug 21 2019 09:09:05 AM EDT from darknetuser @ Uncensored

The Aristocrats was a really nice film. 

The Aristocrats joke?

My grand-nephew was watching The Junglebook... I forgot the detail and the style of the original type of animation.

There is no way I am joining up with Disney. They used to rock, now they only make remakes of their own stuff and cover political propaganda.

Besides, I already got a publisher for my wild ideas :)

So this is a room for talking about sleep stuff?

I have all sort of crazy dreams. Let's pull one of the latter ones.

I was in a barn feeding a horse which, in my dream, I loved dearly. The horse told me that she was no horse, but a demon who had come up from Hell in the form of a horse in order to bring destruction to mankind. She told me that she was sharing the truth with me because I loved her, and since I loved her, there was only one thing I could do now that I knew the truth.

Join her, go to the streets in the night to kidnap kids, and sacrifice them in bloody night rituals in the barn to her.

Since I loved this horse and I hate kids, the rest of the dream was me chasing children and putting them in a jail.

Channeling IGnat's clock discussion.  

I mentioned that I don't use a clock or my phone near the bed because my CPAP machine has an alarm clock which I rarely use but it is nice to have.  The hose connection to my CPAP machine cracked, the CPAP machine needs to be replaced.  The supply company I deal with no longer sells the brand CPAP with the alarm clocks, so I will no longer have an alarm clock. 

I would love to rant about all the bullshit that has been going on with my CPAP supplies, I thought it was going to get better but it hasn't.

Maybe I need to switch from a local company to a mail order company. The local company was stellar for many years, fantastic people fantastic service. The past few months it has turned to crap. I believe they were bought out by another company, this new company wants very little supplies locally and wants to ship everything from a central warehouse. I used to be able to walk in to the local office, pick the items up.  I could order in the a.m., pick them up in the afternoon or the next day.  Now it can take two or three weeks before my ordered supplies arrive.  I have tried to find out what is going on but I don't get any answers. 

I asked, and she told me that it's exactly the opposite of a nightmare.  Every now and then they call her and ask if her supplies need to be topped up, and they send whatever is needed.

However, this is with Medicare.  Might be different with an HMO.

I wanted to know if ordering supplies has become a nightmare.  

Is there someone in the uncensored community that is on CPAP therapy?

I just wanted to know if their routine of ordering supplies has turned into a nightmare.  (TGFO)

That was awesome. You know I arranged for you to have that dream just to annoy you.

Too true!  Tho I have to admit to guiltily enjoying certain psy-thrillers when I'm awake....

hi Hawke, yeah, the nightmares are relatively rare, but gads! they suck

Bella!  Welcome back!  (especially without the nightmares)

I'm not enjoying Insomnia, I can cope with it to an extent, because I have an internet connection.

What is really hurting is that when I do sleep the nightmares are horrific.

No more destruction than my three girls could already do ...

And thank you everyone. We are all quite happy.

Congrats!   

Congratulations! 

Woooot!

It's a boy.... 3:08AM

Ironic thing of it, I have never met Ig before. :)

I had a funny dream last night where a couple of us were visiting IGnat for some technical reason, but he wasn't home. The person who answered the door and let us in told us to make ourselves at home because that is what IG would want, and then IG came. Then for some reason, my wife was there and I was making introductions of my children to IG's, when my wife suddenly had to get back to NC to have her baby. She decided to hop the next plane and parachute... I woke up to check to see if she had gone into labor (no)... but the dream kinda cracked me up.

Tue Sep 12 2017 03:02:53 AM EDT from kc5tja @ Uncensored

Last night, I had a dream which basically was a complete Dr. Who episode.

I think that was a Dukes of Hazard episode.

Tue Sep 12 2017 03:00:47 AM EDT from kc5tja @ Uncensored

You have an unhealthy obsession with Zuckerberg.

True dat.  I loved the Internet before Zuckerberg destroyed it.

Last night I had a dream that I was looking at a early 2000s Chevy Impala, and negotiating on buying the car that was not in good shape.  It had a single ding on the front drivers side quarter panel, both drivers side doors, the rear quarter panel, and both passenger side doors.   The breaks were shot, but it was rear wheel drive for some reason, and it spun the tires when I really gave it some gas.  I also called Richard Hammond to have him run a check on the VIN.   

I have no idea why I was doing this.  

That's not a very complimentary way to refer to the bride and groom....

Ha....would probably be more moist than the usual rubber wedding chicken!

We will probably not eat "Chicago style" anything while we're there.  But, there is a Chick-Fil-A across the street from the hotel where the wedding reception is going to be, and if we get too annoyed with the circumstances around us, we're going to bail out and go there for milkshakes.

<laughs> Well, yes....but I probably still would have prodded you, if only for the 'Za rant.  :-)

Wed May 31 2017 11:12:59 AM EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

Chicago, in July. Flying and lodging my family there is killing several thousand dollars that I could have put to much better use. Chicago is not a destination I have any desire to see.

But, but, but...IGgy, you'll finally have the chance to have REAL pizza!  <g>

What's the destination? and when is it scheduled for?

Your sister is getting married, Mazal Tov!

I had a dream that my father's wife had kicked him out (she really never could) and he was living with friends of mine instead and for some reason his wife was living with us (or maybe we were living with her at my father's house) and I spent a lot of time in the dream trying to work up the courage to go ask her to bring my father back home so I could spend time with him again.  Finally I asked her and she went from smiling and being happy to being very gloomy and as soon as I turned around, a friend of hers was giving her advice to leave him. It was sad.

Was Dirk wearing white socks?  If he was it would make sense.

I keep dreaming about Zeph lately. Weird, convoluted dreams, where things happen the way I had somehow hoped they would instead of the way they did, and where I'm still in  college, and I'm not sick yet...

I'm still waking up every morning feeling desperate to remember what was in my dreams, but completely unable to do so. I bet I would find them interesting too. Oh well!

The most frustrating part is this sense that some part of my own brain is actively working hard at hiding it from me. 

Hey, I'm happy to see my dreams ARE just a bunch of nonsense, just like I always suspected.  

Still, they can really leave me shaken up sometimes. Lately every morning I wake up with this strong desire to keep dreaming because whatever was going on in the dream felt super important, but I can never ever remember anything about the dream afterwards. I guess for the best. I should pay more attention to reality. I'm starting to think that my waking hours are actually real, and relevant, and actions I take while awake having long lasting consequences. With scary things like that to live with, who needs nightmares?

Well, it's been more than 40 days, so ... what are the results?  Did you live?  If not, how did you die?

Last Saturday I heard a voice in my dream that I have 40 days left to live. My dreams are always weird though, but it did get me to thinking about if I really did only have 40 days left to live, what would I do differently? So I thought about it and decided nothing. Each day of my "normal" life makes me happy so I'll just keep it up. And if I DO manage to keep living, then good. I'll have more enjoyment of more days. 

Still, I remember waking up being bummed out about it. 

I don't know if this belongs in rant or the Dark Third.

When my father was ill he needed oxygen, my CPAP supplies are handled by that same department.  At one time they were fantastic, outstanding service, always.  Our local hospitals have merged and with that a lot of changes. Some of the people in the sleep center are the same but they are under a different department.  They no longer want you to pick up the supplies from them, they want to mail you the supplies.  This was an option before but they are no longer mailed locally, they are mail from a different state.

Last month I received a letter telling me about a wonderful new reorder system that will be implement.  It involves an automated system calling you!  Everybody loves automated phone systems, and this one calls me!  I have no idea how they would know when I need supplies but apparently they do.  I think that would be great if a grocery store knew it was time and called me when I needed milk.  At the bottom of the letter they said "We know you'll love the ease of the new ordering program as much as we do...."  Just that pisses me off.  Somebody telling me I will like something.  

I did get the phone call, the automated voice on the other end said that "If this is Zooer press 1, if not press 2 and we will wait while you get him."  I just hung up.  I have to reorder supplies when it is convenient for an automated system?

Several months ago, I think it might have been in November I was traveling. Before going into the hotel my CPAP machine sat in the cold car. When my CPAP machine didn't power up right away I thought it was a condensation issue.  I waited about an hour and my machine came back to life.  Same thing when I returned home but not as bad.  In March the same thing, took a trip and my machine did not power up, but this time it didn't power back on for several hours, l sometime in the night.  I slept without the machine the first night (Friday into Sat). I called the sleep center on Monday. I thought they said I could buy a new machine for a discount.  My insurance wouldn't allow for a new machine at this time, and it was no longer under warranty.  I was on the phone with them, I didn't understand what they were explaining.  The guy who knows the most was in the background explaining to the person I was talking to.  I was missing some details somewhere. This discount was part of an upgrade buy-back program

When we had the new electrical panel installed at the house that power was turned off.  My CPAP machine never came back to life.  I had researched "CPAP machine not powering on" after the first problem, and most people said it was condensation.  I tried a search again and found out there was a recall on the machine for a power problem like I was having.  The sleep center didn't know about it, I didn't get a notice about it even though I registered the machine. The recall notice said the recall period was over.  

My sleep center offered me the discounted machine and they would see what the company/insurance would do.  They said the other brand of machine was much more expensive.  The discounted machine was the same make/model number but upgraded firmware. I went with that, -I-have-not-reached- I can not reach my deductible (thanks Obamacare!) so I would probably have to pay the full, but discounted price.

I received a call today, the sleep center said the company would replace the machine for free.  yip!  (THANKS DONALD TRUMP!)

Sounds like you need a spitvalve, like on a trumpet  :)

I learned a new term today in relation to my CPAP, "rain out".  It has happened before but was bad the past few nights.  I keep my room cool, the CPAP has a heated tube.  However the mask is not heated.  When the warm moist air hits the colder mask you have condensation, and a lot of it.  The tubing will gurgle, water will go everywhere and you don't sleep well.

the thing is - it's not dreams. It's waking moments where I'm suddenly in the wrong time and place.

Memories hit me so hard that I have trouble functioning where I am.

TriL,

This is called "wishful thinking".

quite vivid. 
I can remember hanging out on your bed in Banot like it was 10 minutes ago.

Cannot get my mind to stay in the present.
I keep forcing myself back into reality, but it my mind won't stay here.

I keep looking around and being surprised at where I am (physically)
I expect to be in Newburgh, high school, the college dorms, but nothing in the past 15 years or so.

I wonder if it's a hormonal thing.

(btw, in case anyone's wondering, I'm 25 weeks pregnant)

At least a certain pointy-haired ex-boss didn't make an appearance!

both schools are public schools.

no tuition. I want to know how they didn't notice she had the wrong shirt and books.

Wow, TriL, some women get heartburn....you apparently get dreams!

An early Mazel Tov, btw (merit's hashem)

Today's dream:

Found out that I'd been randomly dropping K off at two different schools, and nobody bothered to tell me... turned out she was happier at the 'other' school. (there's a school half a block away from us which is non-religious, and she goes to a school a block away from our new house - 4 blocks away from our current house which is religious). But for some reason she either hadn't noticed or decided not to tell me that I was sending her to the two schools intermittently. At any rate, I realized that I'd been sending her to the non-religious school more often which meant that she was going to miss out on two milestone parties (receiving her prayer book and her book of Genesis), and I was all upset and couldn't figure out how to fix it.... 

Also noteworthy - in Israel, instead of uniforms, most of the schools require that you wear a plain t-shirt with just the school symbol on it (and pants or skirt are at the student's discretion). She was walking around with the wrong symbol and no one noticed. 

My dreams over the past week have included:

1 in which I killed 8 people, took their bodies to a self-serve cemetery, and then had to explain to the cops why I was burying 8 people in the span of a week. I'm pretty sure they were doing gardening, then they tried to rape me, so I hit them over the head with a shovel.

Another dream in which I wasn't sure who the father of my baby is (I'm 9 weeks pregnant, and I haven't so much as hugged any other man in the 7+ years I've been married to Yaakov, so I've got a pretty good guess as to who the father is.)

A third dream in which this guy who teased/bugged me throughout high school gave me a hug and then started making out with me and admitted that he'd always loved me.

conclusion: I'm having crazy dreams. 

Dreams are good for something, then!  :-)

Snowed here, too.  Right now, it is 12 degrees F....brrr!

Shazam, did she say yes?

And here I go dreaming about a short-necked giraffe that escaped from the zoo and was kinda cute and cuddly.